Let me begin by saying this: If you're looking for adventure and excitement and cool stuff, India is the wrong place to go to, my friend. It's a sad-but-true fact that India lacks infrastructure. Sure, you can do stuff like paragliding and bungee jumping and, you know, sure we have amusement parks, but my point is, you can probably do all this stuff back home where you came from, and do it better there. Yeah, it'd be waaaaay safer and well managed if you just did that stuff in your own country. If you're coming all the way to India, I trust you want to see stuff you don't really get, back wherever you live. You want to imbibe the culture, bask in the history, and taste the pure ethnicity of the country. Because culture, history and ethnicity is what we're rich in. And, maybe, a couple of other things, depending on where you look.

TOP FIVE PLACES IN INDIA YOU AS A TOURIST SHOULD LIST UNDER ‘PRIORITY':

• 1. Fatehpur Sikri: Admit it, we're all sick to death of the Taj Mahal. It's everywhere, it's the official mascot of tourism in India, and we're sick of it. Sure it's all white and pretty, but surely there's other places in India that are marvels of architecture and history, right? Other places that don't make us want to gouge our eyes out due to having seen too much of it? Well, you're in luck. India is FULL of ancient monuments from a bunch of different time periods. Some of the most beautiful date back to the Mughal era (keep your eyes peeled for a hub on this in the next few days). You'll find a lot of Mughal architecture spread across the northern parts of the country, but to see a lot of good stuff in one place, you should visit Fatehpur Sikri. This is a ‘city' complex built by the Mughal king Akbar near Agra, during the 1500s.

• 2. The Ajanta and Ellora caves: These rock-edifices are really really really cool. Imagine it. They're in the Deccan region of India, so the mountains are made of pure igneous rock, and have very little vegetation. Now, imagine a bunch of caves cut right into the rock, in very complicated shapes. There's dwelling spaces, and temple complexes, and rock statues of gods and kings and animals. There's wall paintings and inscriptions. There is, effectively, an entire city hewn into rock, and it's just about the most amazing thing that could ever happen. And the best part is, all this dates back to about the second century BC! People from two hundred years before Jesus Christ was ever born, people with a lo-ho-hot of time on their hands, took their primitive tools and cut a city out of solid rock, and that, my friends, is something really, really cool.

• 3. Rishikesh: It's on the bank of the Ganges river, and not the part that's polluted, either. This place is situated just after the Ganges, where the water is still cold (the Ganges comes down from the Himalayas). The banks here and beautiful and covered with the prettiest white sand, and there's some very good river rafting here, for amateurs (if you're a professional, you may find it a little tame). This river has got a variety of rapids, depending on what you're comfortable with. It's pretty safe, and very, very fun. Don't go to Rishikesh town, though. There's a lot of camps that are set up on the banks of the river, especially in summer, that offer both rafting and other nature-based activities (trekking etcetera). Enroll in one of those.

• 4. Bharatpur Bird Sanctuary: If you like birds, this place is totally for you. If you don't really care about birds, but are looking to get away from it all, this place is also for you. It's a nice, protected, green forest, and it has a lot of birds, as well as some animals (deer, jackals and the like). None of these animals are particularly dangerous, so it's possible to rent a bicycle at the entrance (hey, remember bicycles?) and wheel yourself around the park. To achieve best results, carry a pair of binoculars, arm yourself with a book on birds (there are some written with especially this sanctuary in mind), and go really early in the morning. It's relaxing, quiet, and beautiful.

• 5. The Andaman and Nicobar Islands: This is a whole holiday in itself, so if you go here, you may not be able to visit too many other places in India. These islands are situated in the Bay of Bengal, and offer a host of activities. There are beautiful beaches, and a lot of sea-life. Scuba diving is a very popular activity (well, duh. Why would anybody not want to scuba-dive? You get to carry your own oxygen for Pete's sake). There's also some sightseeing options here, some bazaar stuff if you're interested, and some historical buildings (like a jail from British times, where a lot of revered Indian freedom fighters were imprisoned at some time or the other).

You'll notice I haven't mentioned anything remotely urban in this list. This is because there is no way you can enjoy urban India without a nice, hip, modern Indian person by your side at all times. It's a whole different experience, and it's mostly culture (the material stuff you can get anywhere. You know, the clubbing and the nightlife). You can't experience culture without people, and that is why I'm not going to put cities into this list of mine. Although there is some fine British architecture in South Bombay (Ah, home, sweet home). And you could put Delhi into your list, just for all the medieval architecture (the Qutub Minar, the Red Fort, the Old Fort etcetera). I've just thrown in the places I love the most (that are NOT the ‘busy market places' they always show you on TV. That might be a big part of Indian culture, but in no way is it ALL of it). I would always advise you lot to read up on Indian history, especially about the places you're going to, before you leave home. Then, carry with you a small handbook with trivia and important facts only, to refer to when you're actually at your destinations. Don't employ the people chasing you, claiming to be ‘guides'. They're only going to rip you off.

Warning: If you're white, prepare to be ripped off unless you learn a few bargaining skills or have an Indian with you whom you can trust. Indians tend to believe white people are obscenely rich, and, being Indians, they will try to take advantage of this. Don't be fooled. It really doesn't cost 700 rupees to get into the Taj Mahal. I got in at 30 rupees. Watch your step.

Warning two: Beware of monkeys.

Anyway. Tell me if you ever actually plan on coming to India, and I'll be forthcoming with more tips on what to do and how to do it. Cheerio!