after reading a forum about ideas for writing about low self esteem, it got me thinking about where low self esteem comes from? until about 2 years ago, my self esteem wasn't too bad. i wasn't down on myself, but i wasn't so full of myself.  i know what caused my esteem to plummet, but i wondered what makes it so hard to get it back.

my story - about three years ago, i was diagnosed with advanced colon cancer. by the time, i got to the gastroenterologist she told me that if i had have waited another six months it would have been inoperable.  anyway, long story short, i went through all the chemo and radiation after having the tumour removed. my surgeon is extremely pleased with how well i have done to beat this.  the problem is that it doesn't make me like myself any more than i do.  at my worst i looked anorexic, now i'm at my best. i didn't take any photos during the whole episode.  during all of this, i felt like half a person because i had the ostomy bag.  nothing kicks you like an ostomy bag.  i hated it and the way it looked. even now, i lack a lot of the confidence that i had before all this happened.  my partner does what he can and everytime i tell him i need reassurance, he tells me what i need to hear and makes sure that i feel appreciated.  i thought that by now, i would have gotten over it, but no such luck.

anyway, outside of physical things like this, why do people lose self esteem?  how do kids end up with no esteem at such a young age?

as a parent, it is my responsibility to ensure that i equip my children to cope with anything the world throws at them.  thankfully, my daughter's biggest worry is if she becomes a loner at school.  i am glad that she has a good sense of who she is.  my son, he's pretty much the same. he knows who his friends are and who is just a bit fly by night to be a real friend.

i don't understand parents who feel the need to tear down their children to make themselves feel better. why would you do this when you know how it feels?

what do you think? where does the low self esteem come from and how can you reduce the anxiety of it?