Which is Most Funny Excuse?

This is collection from WWW..

1. A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through automated radar.

A $100 speeding ticket was included.

Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $100.

The police responded with another mailed photo -- of handcuffs.

2. A Policeman pulled a car over and asked the man driving why she was going 70 mph in a 50 mph zone?

"I was only going 50!" the driver protested.

"Not according to my radar," the police officer replied.

"Yes, I was!" the man shouted back in anger.

"No you weren't!" the policeman said, starting to get annoyed. With that, the man's sexy wife leaned toward the window and said,

"Officer, I should warn you not to argue with my husband when he's been drinking."

3. A sexy lady was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.

The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"

The sexy lady said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"

The cop looked at her and said, "Sexy Lady, that's your air freshener!"

 

4. One day, while a sexy lady was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The lady started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the lady laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The lady is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The lady giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

5. One day this cop pulls over a dumb but sexy lady for speeding.

The cop gets out of his car and asks the lady for her license.

"You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license and the next day you ask me to show it."

6. A cop pulls a car over on the highway for speeding. When he asks for the driver's license, the driver argued, "Speeding??? But officer, I was only trying to keep a safe distance between my car the the car in back of me."

 

7. A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over.

The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go."

The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"

8. While driving along the back roads of a small town, two truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 10'3."

They got out and measured their rig, which was 11'4."

"What do you think?" one asked the other.

The driver looked around carefully, and then shifted into first. "Not a cop in sight. Let's take a chance!"

 

9. There was a drunk driver who was pulled up by the police. When the cop opened the door, the driver fell out.

"YOU'RE DRUNK!" exclaimed the police officer.

"Thank God for that!" said the drunk, "I thought the steering had gone."

10. The cop got out of his car and the kid that was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.

"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

The guy replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

11. Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens. Jump!"

The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!"

The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious."

12. A police officer stops a sexy and nice lady for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

13. A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."

The woman answered "Well, I have contacts."

The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"

14. On a rural road a police man pulled a farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"

To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"

15. Stopped a woman once for 80 mph in a 50 mph. She said she had just bought the vehicle (a Jeep Grand Cherokee) and wanted to see how fast it would go.

She was provided with written documentation that it would go at LEAST $80.

16. Stopped a guy for speeding. his car was wet. he stated that the dryer at the car wash was broken so he was driving fast so that the wind would dry his car.

17. Cop stopped a guy for driving like he was at the Indy 500. When he finally pulled over, he frantically told me that his wife was about to give birth and he had to get her to the hospital right away. When I asked him where his wife was, he turned to his right and said "oh Shyte!!!!" with a freaked out expression on his face. I asked him what was wrong and he said that his wife was going into labor and he jumped in the car to take her to the hospital. Only problem was, he left her at home. Being the cynical skeptic, I of course, did not believe him. I asked him his home address and sent the paramedics to his house for his wife since he claimed she was still at home. Amagine my surprise, when they confirmed she was in labor and delivering. Poor bastard got so exicted he left his wife at home.

18. Maybe this is the poorest excuse for a speeding ticket: "Officer, I could not find the speedometer because I just stole the car."

Second Worst: "I didn't see the speedometer because I was driving with my eyes closed."

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