I don't think anyone really likes goodbyes (at least not most of the time), but it was only today that I began to understand why I don't like goodbyes. As this new revelation began to dawn on me it suddenly made sense why goodbyes hurt for me so much.

One goodbye carries in it the reminder of the hundreds and thousands more goodbyes that will be said in my life. One goodbye carries a piece of the pain of all of the separations I know I will have to endure in the future, and often pieces of the ones I have already endured as well. Like thoughts of death at a funeral, a goodbye makes me think of other goodbyes past and future that will break my heart a million other little ways.

And goodbyes to the people you love certainly involve pain. Love involves giving, giving of your love, and so a piece of your heart. And boy, oh boy, does it hurt to have a piece of your heart torn away from you, be it for a time or for the rest of your life. Loving--whether it is family, friends, or romantic relationships--always means that sooner or later you will have your heart broken, in big or little ways. It could be as little as being separated for a few days, weeks, months, or years. It could be as big as death or the irreconcilable severing of a relationship. But when you love, you give of yourself in ways bigger than just selfless deeds and shows of affection. You truly give a piece of your true self--a piece of your heart and soul--to that person and hope and pray that they will accept it, treasure it, and return the love and the giving of your true self. That is how love is supposed to be.

But, alas, it is not always so. No, we muck things up and so we say goodbye a million times in a million ways and chip away at our hearts until we feel empty and broken. And it takes the love of the One True God to fill our hearts back up and give us more love to give away than we could possibly ever run out of. It takes the touch of a Loving Savior to heal the deep scars in our hearts from having pieces torn out and thrown in the dirt like so much garbage. It takes the kind of healing only Christ can give to free us from our hurt to live fully alive again.

I still hate goodbyes. But I am learning to live with the heartache that accompanies love, and live happily and fully free. God willing--and with His protection--I will escape this life with my heart still intact and still belonging to the only One who can take the best care of it for me. Hopefully you learn to trust the same God with your wounded bleeding heart.