"...[I did] an exercise in which you discover your "unanswerable question". This question could be anything. For example: "do you love me?", "am I important to you?", "am I worth it?"... it's just gotta be a question that no matter how many times people answer it verbally, the question is still there for you- it's never satiated, or you get off shoots of that same question.

My unanswerable question is "when are you going to leave me?" and that beast has been running every relationship I've been in and tried to have. It gets worse and acts faster every time a new person comes in because every time, I think I have less and less time with every new person.

Well, last night... that question got answered for me and I suddenly didn't know who I was anymore.

I can't even describe the feeling that came over me. I was stopped in my tracks. I couldn't continue typing the reply message that got me to see that my question was answered. I was so sad to see me go... but do you know how long I've been waiting for this moment? To actually have no past in relationships that will determine who I am in the next one?

I have nothing to compare new people to, I'm free of my desperation and panic, I have no more need to rush things because I think I don't have time before someone leaves me...

I think if someone could literally give you the world, this is exactly what it would feel like to receive it. Thank you Angela for giving me the world...