Who's Really blessed?

I had the most memorable Mothers Day this year. My oldest daughter wrote a beautiful and touching essay about me and submitted it to a local grocery for a Mothers Day “Queen for a day” contest. She won! I was gifted to a Mothers Day brunch with my family as well as a limo ride, a months worth of tanning, flowers, tiara, gift cards to local merchants and so may kind, flattering comments by members of our community. They spoke of the “sacrifices” I had made in caring for my husband after his illness and my mother in her last few years. While these comments are recognized and greatly appreciated, in my heart, I really believe the praise should go not to me, but to my parents. Today would have been my Mom’s 85^th birthday. With Mothers Day just past, Memorial Day around the corner and Fathers Day sneaking up on us…I can’t help but think of them. I never felt that I was sacrificing a thing when I took care of my husband or my Mom; I was doing what I felt any person would do who truly loved their spouse or their parent. That is how my parents raised me; they demonstrated this everyday of their lives. I was blessed with the closest thing to perfect parents that one can find in an imperfect world. I was raised with advantages many don’t have…parents who honestly loved one another. We weren’t rich, Dad worked at Keystone Steel & Wire, Mom stayed home. We were comfortable, they saved and made wise choices and we never lacked for anything. Mom always helped a group of elderly women in nearby Peoria. Every Wednesday, she would pick them up and they would go grocery shopping and out for lunch, in the summer I would go too, it was a lot of fun. If any of the ladies needed handyman work or a TV repaired, Dad was there for them. Later, when my grandma was showing signs of Alzheimer’s (known as “senility” in the 1970’s), she moved in with us. She became a daily fixture in our lives until she passed away in 1974. When I was older, Mom and Dad would offer me their opinions and advise, yet they never interfered in my choices, even the poor ones I may have made. They respected my right to live my life as I saw fit and to make my own mistakes. When my Dad suffered a debilitating stroke in Jan 1987, Mom took him home to recover; a nursing home would never have entered her mind. She and Dad were inseparable until he passed away from an aneurysm in July 1991 at the relatively young age of 63. She was lost without him and focused on what remained of her family. Mom and I spent a lot of time together in her remaining 17 years. She was with me throughout the long journey of my husband’s illness and recovery to lend her support however she could. If something wonderful happened, she was the first person I called, if something horrible happened, again, she was the first person I called. She moved into her own little house behind ours in early 2004 when she started showing clear signs of Alzheimer’s, like forgetting to change clothes (she was the neatest person I ever met). She slowly went downhill until last year when a whole new stage was starting to emerge. She became more child-like and needed more help than ever. She suffered a stroke last June, I found her. The hospital sent her home on July 3, and she passed away on July 6. She never really regained consciousness after her stroke. This was my first Mothers Day without my Mom, and I really miss her. But I am also happy for her. She never wanted to “be a burden” as she said, on anyone…and she wasn’t, she was an integral part of our lives.   From the day my Dad passed in 1991, all she wanted was to be   with him again and now she is. I feel their presence with me everyday, I know they are not truly gone and I know that I owe everything I am to them and their example.

So while I want to thank everyone involved in making my Mothers Day one that I will never forget, I also want to make it clear that all the beautiful and kind words I have recently been honored with, clearly belong not to me, but to my wonderful parents. I was the one who was truly blessed to have them.