Toxic or bad relationships can lead to low self-esteem in any relationship. The first thing people think when one hears that you are in a bad relationship is that of the relationship between men and women, but other relationships can be just as toxic. The relationship between mothers/fathers and their children is often times the toxic relationship we are speaking of when we say express this sentiment.

What generally has happened in this type of relationship is their is one person who will try to push their will onto a lesser individual. Women seem to be particularly in jeopardy of loosing their self-esteem in this type of relationship. Men can suffer the same. They seem to, either from being bolstered as children not to show emotion or fear of how others will see them, tend to not come across as having low self-esteem.

In order to repair the damage that has been done, we must first understand why this happens. The person with low self-esteem issues related to a toxic relationship will often blame themselves. It is the quick immediate response to accept the blame. They not only accept the blame for the bad relationship, but will apologize profusely for any problems that crop up in new relationships. In the end, it is not their fault. It is the fault of the person who knocked the wind out of your sails. They most likely suffer from low self-esteem issues themselves and are projecting onto you in order to bolster their own way. They do not know how to fix their own issues, therefore they will try to make others around them seem less than adequate for life.

If the person who treats you this way doesn't accept the fact that they too have a problem, it will be a never ending cycle of treatment that is less than fulfilling for either party. Digging deep into the past life issues is the only way to figure out what the cause is that created the effect. Most people do not want to do this. It opens old wounds that are not easily healed.

Take for example the mother who fastidiously encourages the child to make healthy eating choices. In doing so, the tone in which she expresses to the child to make these choices may come across as chiding the child. The child then infers that mom thinks I'm fat and will either do one of two things; a) overeat, or b) pick up an eating disorder. This is an extreme example of what can happen, but it does happen. We all learn as children from our role models - our parents. If a son sees dad hit mom and mom doesn't get help, the son grows up thinking it is ok to hit.

Treating another individual with less than equal respect will diminish that persons esteem to the point they think they are lower than an ants belly. They will deem themselves to be no good and their life will follow that path until they either figure out what the problem is or they become the ones treating others this way. It is a never-ending cycle unless you break out of the relationship and stay away from all people who treat you this way.

Stand up for yourself. You are a person. You are uniquely special. Break the cycle and learn from this time. Once you have learned why this has happened, you can start to rebuild a bountiful life for yourself. If the relationship is worth salvaging, both of you must work towards building each other up. Words of affirmation and praise can help, but it has to be a constant and you must call the other person on the carpet when they step back to their former abuse.

Reach above and beyond. You were meant for great things and don't let anyone else tell you differently.

This article copyright to lynnechandler at HubPages 2009 with all rights reserved.