Why Do Marriages Fail
76Communication and Listening is Key to a Long Term Marriage
Why Do Marriages Fail? Marriages fail for the most part because of miscommunication between the partners going into the relationship. A relationship of marriage is not a trial by error situation. The two of you must talk to each other to be a help mate to one another. If no one is talking to the other, then how is they to know the needs and wants of the other.
As much in love as most men and women would like to be, no one can read the other's mind. No one know what is brewing over there in their partner's personna unless there is some earnest dialogue going on. Most men are not going to want to listen to what the woman has to say, so you must make and ask for constant feedback to back sure that your idea is being understood.
Marriages fail because there is an inconceivable notion that the other person naturally know what to expect of the other. The woman may dream of a big house with two kids while the man may be happy with an apartment and one kid. Some of these very important aspects of a marriage should be talked about before entering into a hoped to be long term relationship.
Going into the marriage, the couple may find themselves talking and actually listening to each other. However, as times go on and familiarity sets in, the conversations becomes a monologue for the woman while the man mindlessly watches sports on the television. The woman begins to feel not as an intricate part of the relationship. Without the seal of communication that keeps couples together, sooner or later the man may start to drift off to find another woman of vigor that he will hope to bring back the fun in his life.
That is the main reason why relationship experts tells couples to get back together by doing some of the things that used to bring the two of you together. The woman is the one to recognize changes in the relationship and is the one who is going to have to be proactive to save the marriage. At this stage in the relationship, having an earnest talk about rekindling conversation will be useless because he stopped listening a long time ago.
The best rout to take to go to a marriage counselor or a marriage retreat that is offered by some churches to get the communication back to where it was in the beginning of the relationship. Marriages fail because the two people in the relationship just stopped talking to each other and no one is listening and trying to understand each other wants and needs. Communication is more that just speaking and gesturing, sometimes the marriage is void of sex which is a red flag that the relationship may be failing.
Consult a marriage counselor or your clergy if your marriage is about to fail. Failing marriages can be saved if the two involved in the relationship honestly and with dedication wants to keep talking and learning about what makes the other person happy. A happy marriage far outweighs a failing marriage and communication supplemented with listening is the key to a long term marriage.
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Comments
Ego problem is the main one. every one likes to dominates the other which is the wrong approach and it shoule always be a friendly approach with a personal touch in it.
I believe these days you can add finances/economic stress. This leads into what you were saying about communication. The stresses create walls which breaks down in communication.
Regards
Your attitutudes toward men are negative because you do not understand what motivates them.
The true issue facing you is one of reality. The inability to deal with that reality is what causes marriages to fail.
Women want conversation. Men want comfort, and peace.
Women need stimulation. Men are stimulated easily.
What I see most often in my counseling sessions with couples is the earnest belief that one can help the other change. This signals to the other partner that you don't like what you have.
Why is it that men and women cannot accept and be satisifed with what they have? More and more I'm coming to the conclusion we're hard wired that way.
True maturity comes in accepting the other for what and who they are. This is the one factor above everything that restores peace in the relationship.
As Christ said: "Judge not. By their fruit you shall know them."
jayb23 tnak you for your comment. The best way to fix the miscommunication and misunderstanding in a relationship is for the couple to start talking. Although the woman may want to initiate the why the relationship is failing conversation, I think that first meeting should be with a marriage counselor after the invitation for the wife, girlfriend, husband, or boyfriend. Communication is king in a relationship and if that road has not been traveled much, the wife or girlfriend should not speak up to start a conversation about the waning relationship, the initial step will have to be with an intermediary so that when each one talks the other one is sure to listen. Good insight, Jayb23.
swathin2, thank you for your comment. I agree that a friendly approach to a failing relationship is the best step to take. Also, as you mentioned, no one should dominate the conversation if you choose to talk about the relationship. The one who is dominating the conversation more often than not is the one who is not listening. I appreciate your comment.
rb11, thank you for your comment. You are correct that finances play a huge role in failing marriages. Couples should still talk and communicate about these issues as well to keep their marriage strong and vibrant.
blueraven6, thank you for your comment. I read your bio and it seems that you entered your experiences in your comments; a combination of intelligence training, counseling and theologian. You may disagree with the last term as you said you would rather be called an historian.
About your comment on failed marriages, I stand by the reality of communication being the key to keeping marriages strong to endure the long term. Sometimes reality of a matter seem all too negative when not displaced with colorful metaphors to describe why marriages fail. Marriages failed because two people who was once in love just stopped talking to each other.
I am writing this response shamelessly as your life motto states that you live by because the truth is that stimulation only last for the short term whether received or initiated by a man or a woman. To have a long standing relationsihp, the two people involved must continue to communicate and to not forget what bought the two of them together.
"The woman is the one to recognize changes in the relationship and is the one who is going to have to be proactive to save the marriage."
WTF, why can't the man do that? Why can't both of them recognize change and be proactive?
Two people should be responsible for the relationship, not one. Placing that kind of responsibility as the woman's role is not only sexist but makes it seem like a marriage failure would be her fault.
Casey Purdy, thank you for your comment. Women are more detailed and are the first to know when a relationship is not working out. Most men think that as long as the bills are paid that they have a relationship regardless of time spent with his mate. This analogy is not sexist. That is just the way that it is. Your comment is much appreciated.
jayb23 says:
5 months ago
Great Hub. Miscommunication and misunderstanding are the prime reasons for the failure. It depends upon the couple how they deal with it.