Everyone has experienced a time when we didn't speak up when we really wanted to. What provokes us to remain quiet?

Common Pattern:

He is in a situation where his emotions are stirring and he wants to say something, but no words come out of his mouth. After the fact, in another time, another place, he boldly spews out everything that he could or should have said, and concludes on how unfair things are. Then the victim phase may set in and the ego reigns the moment.

Sound familiar? We all act this way once in awhile, or maybe quite often? If quite often is your tendency, maybe it's time to honestly look at why you sometimes experience the Lockjaw Syndrome (my contribution to Another Label List).

When we constantly lose our voices due to emotional interference, we create a pattern that grows stronger with continual use. This pattern can then wiggle its way up to the top of the list as a preferred reactive response.

When detached enough, we may clearly ask ourselves, how could this possibly be a preferred choice? We tend to use what appears to fulfill our immediate needs. And when the Lockjaw Syndrome takes hold, paralyzing our lips from moving, we are thinking we need to keep quiet.

Why? Fear! Fear of?

Now it's time for some one on one Participation with You and your Wiser Self.

Why do you remain silent when another part of you yearns to express how you really feel?

Take some time to Visualize yourself in a situation where you want to speak up but you can't. You are feeling so many emotions or hearing so much chatter in your head, you would rather remain quiet. Create a List of why you sometimes or often, contract an annoying case of Lockjaw Syndrome.

Now---did you include any of these reasons on your list?

1. I Can't trust what I might say.

2. I may be wrong.

3. I don't want to start a fight.

4. I don't want to deal with it so I'll bring it up later.

5. I need to think about it.

6. I'm afraid of the reaction I might get if I say something.

7. I don't want to rock the boat.

We can go on and on, but one theme that runs consistently through the above list, is Fear.

Rather than to say what's on your mind, being honest and true to you and your needs, your list may reveal that you tend to revert to an easier route of The Path of Lockjaw.

Better to say nothing than to make things worse? Yes, this is true in certain circumstances, but this article refers to an automatic reaction that doesn't serve a higher purpose.

One way we can recognize our reactions as being fear-based, is to observe how we feel after the fact.

If we beat ourselves up for not saying anything, think of all the things we should or could have said, and feel self-pity or anger towards self, we are revealing how displeased we are with the results of our silence.

By being in your Power, you take the risk to speak up for You. The need to speak up far outweighs the need to be safe. Because you have to live with you, why not be your own Hero. Respect and Reliability are two virtues we can nurture within ourselves. They will then extend outwardly in sync with how we feel internally.

Remember, your Voice is the Spokesperson representing how you feel, what you think, what you want. Next time you get caught up in the Lockjaw Syndrome, learn to flow with the true You and be Fearless, because you deserve to be heard.

With each success you experience with your newly adopted role of Speaking Up, you may have less stress and more respect for yourself. Give it a try and have fun with the process!

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