Contradictions are everywhere. You contradict yourself every day, as does everyone around you including me. You might think, “nope, I never contradict myself,” but that statement alone is a contradiction. Life is full of contradictions. Part of it is the divine design of life. I’m not going to pretend I know why contradictions are so annoying. I will pretend to know why they are the spice of life

It doesn’t happen all of the time, but it does happen. Even the person with the best of intentions goes back on her word from time to time. Even the almost perfect person doesn’t follow through completely on the big idea, or the argument he was 100% certain about and committed to. But, why do we change our minds? Why do we go back on our word, and is it even always completely our fault?

I think, that sometimes we are to blame, and others times we are not. For example, when I was 22 and making some really good money I was an enemy of Wal-Mart. I was completely against everything they stood for and spoke out about it often. I swore off of shopping there and avoided the store all together for about two years. Then, one night I got the consumerism bug and really just wanted to buy something. The only place I could think of was Wal-Mart, and heaven forbid if my self control is strong enough to stop me from going back on my word. So, I went shopping at Wal-Mart that evening. After that, I told myself “ah, it’s no big deal; it was just once and I just won’t do it again.”

That all worked just peachy keen until about two years later when I was a little tighter on money. Then, the excuse changed from a late night shopping bug, to a longer term money management concern. I learned that shopping for groceries at Wal-Mart could save me some serious bucks over the other local stores. To some it might be chump change, but even chump change turns into big money over time. I could even use this extra money to shop at other local stores. And that’s when I went back on my word completely. I started shopping at Wal-Mart for groceries and added other items soon after. I had completely reneged only four years after being so absolutely sure of where I stood.

Contradictions usually have underlying causes, also known as excuses, reasons, etc… I am an indecisive person, sometimes, and I reserve the right to change my mind. I bet you do too. It’s in changing our minds that we open ourselves up to the possibility of contradictions. Singer/songwriter Eric Hutchinson gives us this little jewel in “Back to Where I Was”

“And long as I'm allowed I'll change my mind that's what it's for”

I consider perspective as another reason we see contradictions in others. For example, your pal says he’s going to go back to school to ace all of his work, and do an awesome job on his assignments and on and on. A small part of you thinks, ‘yeah right’ but you’re quiet because you don’t want to discourage him and because he’s your friend and you genuinely hope he does well. Then, he goes back to school and earns sub par grades. In your mind, you might say “why is he there if he’s just going to earn C’s the whole way through? This isn’t what he said he’d do; he’s just contradicting himself.” It is your perspective that he is contradicting himself. In his mind, he might be doing his best, trying his hardest, and genuinely giving as much time and effort as he can to his work. He might not be, too, but let’s say he is. And, because your standards and goals aren’t the same as his, and because he doesn’t see his original statement (or even his current grades) the same way you see them, we’re dealing with a contradiction. Different perspectives are everywhere, all of the time, and sometimes they lead us to see contradictions that aren’t there, or contradictions that we don’t totally understand.

I think another underlying reason for contradictions is that sometimes we don’t know what we’re getting into when we say something. Committing to guitar, for example, without ever touching another instrument, or a guitar for that matter, is a big commitment. You might start off with awesome intentions to be the best guitar player of all time because you are so very skilled at Guitar Hero. You plunk down the money, tell all of your friends, and you’re very excited. Without knowing what you’ve committed yourself to, you’ve suddenly pretty certainly set yourself up for failure. For most, the guitar is a complicated instrument and can get very frustrating very quickly. The real Guitar Heroes make it look so dang easy, and the game makes it seem even easier. It’s not that you meant to go back on your word; it actually hurts to learn that you might not have the patience and willpower to conquer this instrument. You didn’t know what you were getting into from the start. You didn’t have a clear picture of the situation and what it meant you’d need to do over a pretty long period of time.

There has to be some good that comes from contradictions, right? Maybe they’re around to keep us humble, or to help us learn how to weight decisions carefully. Maybe they’re here to help us learn that absolute certainty won’t always end up being absolute. Maybe we contradict to help us learn forgiveness, both of ourselves and others. Matter of fact, I think that last one probably has the most to do with it.

So, if your friend never turns into a guitar hero you planned, maybe he’ll still be a guitar hero in his own eyes. And if you never turn out to be that 4.0 scholar I planned for, maybe your complete effort will get you more satisfaction than the 4.0 student who was giving half of their effort.