Karaoke night at the bar is unavoidable. Try as I might, I always end up at the most hopping place with my friends on karaoke night. I would much rather be able to sit and chat, laugh, and socialize with my friends than listen to some drunken person slaughter my favorite songs. I'd prefer to hear the fine tuned, corporately perfected, jukebox versions and better yet, a live version from my favorite band or cover band. I think singing should be left to the professionals and the rest should sit quietly and enjoy. Now, this point of view almost certainly makes me a hypocrite, because I always sign in the car, and I would love to get up and sign karaoke if I thought I was good enough to do it. The difference between singing in the car is that I’m only hurting my own ears (an occasionally the ears of my closest friends and loved ones) instead of those of everyone else in the building.

I also have the hardest time picking a song to sing. I could (and will) sit with the karaoke book all night searching for ‘the perfect song’ that is within my range, that I know very well, and that I think will be the most entertaining and crowd pleasing. In the end, though, I will not write a song on that piece of paper, and I will not get up and sing. Being extremely drunk does not seem to help me with this process.

I’m not sure why I care what bar patrons think of my singing ability. I’m not so sure that it’s even that I care what they think as much as I care for their welfare. I tend to put myself in other peoples' shoes. So, if I’m miserable listening to them I can only assume they will be just as miserable if not worse off listening to my drunken crooning. To top it all off, I have such weird music taste that I’m betting they won’t have even heard of the song I’m singing anyway. When I don’t know the song someone else is ruining, I tend to judge them even more harshly.

Sure, there are a few regular diamonds in the rough hiding in the crowd. I’m glad to hear them sing once or twice. But even they can tend to overdo it by singing the same songs every week, singing too loudly, or just showing off their talent a little too much when they should be in a band or on American Idol or something.

You’ll probably finish reading this hub thinking I’m a complete moron. I guess I’m probably okay with that, because at least I’m only a moron wasting your reading time and not your precious socializing time with friends, your irreplaceable eardrums, or even the great mood you were in before you arrived a karaoke night at your favorite digs with your favorite friends. I’ll take the kick in the pants I’m about to get from all of you karaoke fans and participants; at least you know why I avoid karaoke at pretty much all cost. Let’s have it; convince me why I should change my karaoke avoiding ways… I’ll at least hear you out.