Why I am not Christian!

For my Mormon friends, I am a Lamanite; uncircumcised of heart. For everyone else, what that means is I carry a very hard hatred in my heart for ALL religions.

When a person accepts Jesus Christ as his personal savior, he or she accepts centuries of slaughter, pain and brutality done in his name. That includes the sexual abuse inflicted on hundreds of generations of children!

To me, it is a fairy tale just like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Better be good - God is watching and writing down everything that you do!

Was God watching when the Europeans tortured thousands of Jews were tortured and killed for god? Will they get into heaven? Was God watching when the Europeans tortured thousands of women were tortured and killed for consorting with the devil? Will they get into heaven? Was God watching when Spaniards tortured thousands of Indians were tortured and killed for gold? Will they get into heaven? Was God watching when the American Congress passed a bill authorizing smallpox blankets to be distributed to American Indians to keep them out of the Revolutionary War? Will they get into heaven? Was God watching when the American Congress declared war on a people that never attacked us? Will they get into heaven?

When I was younger, I was cursed with a beauty that people openly remarked about. My appearance brought out the pedophiles, both male and females. As a male child, it was often very embarrassing for me! With a soft face, full lips, dark eyes and Shirley Temple curls, remember it was the 1940's. My mother refused to cut my hair until my father returned from the South Pacific. During WWII, my aunt always told me that I was a Gerber baby, She claims that she send a photograph of me peering out from a blanket to Gerber, into a contest. She says that I won. But that the family never received any prize money. Now, who knows or even cares.

My first instance of sexual abuse was by a Pentecostal preacher, when he tried to force his penis in my mouth. My grandfather stopped him; and beat the shit out of him. My first BJ came from a nun at St. Maurice church/school in lower ninth ward in New Orleans; I was six. At the same school - church a priest attempted anal sex with me. I kicked and fought until he let me go - he had a heart attack and the SOB died. My Indian grandfather was very proud that I counted my first coup at the age of seven!

Then came the military, I was in the USN from 1959 to 1967. In 1960, all hands were ordered on deck and ordered to uncover and pray. I felt a hardness envelope me and I said to myself, "I will never submit!"

I hate to tell you folks, but just saying "I'm sorry" doesn't get it done!

About 25 years ago, our third daughter was engaged to marry to a Catholic boy from New Orleans. She fulfilled all of the stipulations that I had placed on my blessings to get married. She had to graduate from high school and be accepted into college. And she did - by the age of sixteen. She and I were driving from New Orleans to our home in Mississippi. She began, "Daddy, I am getting married in the Catholic Church. And I am going to raise my kids in the Catholic faith." I asked why she had made such a decision. She said, "Because you never told me about Jesus." I thought about that and said,"You never asked. But be that as it may - it's your decision. But you should know that you are denying your children the right that I gave you." Immediately, she perked up, "What do you mean, denying my children?" I told her that I could have raised her Baptist, Jewish, Muslim, LDS or anyone of a hundred faiths and she never would have considered a Catholic boy. And, that she was denying her children the right that had I given her - the right to chose.

About a month later, she and her fiance were in a Catholic church with an old priest, who was to tutor her the catechism of the Catholic Church and her place in it. The priest began to berate them. "You are too young be married!". This went on for about a half-hour. Finally, my daughter jumped to her feet and stuck her finger in the old man's face and said, "Listen to me you old son of bitch. My daddy said it was OK for us to get married. So guess what? You don't mean shit to me! And I can guarantee you one thing you, it will a cold day in hell, before you see me or my kids in this place again!" As she stood and began walking out, she looked back and saw her future husband sitting there - with his mouth opened. She said to him, "Are you coming or what?". He jumped up and followed her out of the church. Yeah - that is my daughter! She counted coup at 16!

They have been married for 25 years now. And they have presented us with three beautiful grandchildren. As far as I know, neither she nor her children has ever stepped into a Catholic Church. Her husband continues to be a faithful church goer. He probably needs to - after all he is living with my daugther!