Why I joined HubPages and Why I'm going to stay
73Why I joined
I joined HubPages to use it as an aid, as a stepping stone to help me shed the cloak of insecurities I wear around like a blanket, shrouding me in anxiety. I've been putting pen to paper for as long as I can remember and never sharing any of it with anyone. When life finally helped me see it was time to find an audience, I went out in search of a place that offered just that and came across HP.
Hubs offered me a way to express my self and get my name out there while still allowing my Scarlet mask to stay firmly in place. My writing could be as honest and open as I wanted, or I could keep it covered. I could give the reader as much or as little of me as I felt comfortable.
I was fortunate enough to find a place here quickly. I fell into a nook and I've been quite comfortable there. I found an outlet of sorts, I found a following and I found a group of like minded individuals who easily morphed into friends. I felt at home here, safe here, happy here. Hubs was a retreat, a fun place to hang out and catch up. And, then...yeah, it changed a little.
What changed and why
I joined HP prior (though only slightly) to the Hub Challenge. Yes, I know what you're thinking--not that again. But, yeah, I'm going to talk about that. The challenge changed a lot of things around HP--it changed people's views and opinions about the community as a whole, it changed the way the community functioned. It's not the participants fault, it's not the fault of the nay-sayers. It just happened.
I came to Hubs, not to make money, but for the reasons stated above. Yes, I have an AdSense and Amazon account, and, yes, their ads are plastered over most of my hubs. But, I didn't come here in the hopes of making a living or even grabbing a few extra bucks. In fact, I'd rather see comments to my hubs over AdSense dollars any day. I don't research keywords or have any knowledge whatsoever about SEO's and back links. Nor do I want to. But, I also have nothing against those who do. I don't have anything against a hubber whose main goal coming here was to make money writing hubs directed at outside traffic. After all, that's what this place was created for in the first place.
Now, I'm not a very controversial person. I don't hang out in the religion or political forums. I don't crave controversy or desire drama. Granted, I can be blunt and sarcastic and I can bust balls with the best of them, but I also know when to hold my tongue and often do. But sometimes it's important to let others know where you stand. And, my stand is, the challenge was a way to bring the focus of HubPages and its writers back to where they felt it should be--making money.
Somewhere along the line, HP became more than just a money maker. It became a home for writers needing to express themselves. Many of us found each other and spent lots of time reading and commenting on each others hubs, cracking jokes and having fun in the forums. But, truth be told, HP never actually stopped being the machine it was created to be. Many of us were just using it to fit our own personal needs. The challenge upset a lot of us. It rocked our boat and it's still making waves. Now as another round has started, I'm getting seasick all over again. But, I know I'm wearing my life preserver, and I still see many of my friends hanging on to the sides so I'm not ready to jump overboard just yet.
I think during and after the first challenge, tensions were high. Many of us began to feel used, let down. We went from feeling like intregal cogs in the wheel to feeling like something the cart ran over. It was hard to find our place in the community again. It was hard to feel like we belonged. Being hurt like we were, the jovial nature of the community we'd grown to love became stressed and heavy. Hubbers were leaving or taking breaks. The fun was dissappearing.
When you're feelings are hurt...you tend to move on
Saying goodbye
It's been hard to see my friends hurt and it's been hard to watch them leave. No one wants to watch someone they care about in a tough situation. I know that those who have left and those who have had to step away have good reasons in doing so and I will support them. I would never want to see a friend stay in a situation they are not happy with.
I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about leaving. I've thought about it a lot, actually. I've been on the fence, at the crossroads for two weeks now. Stay or go. If I hadn't had to watch friends go or hear firsthand the issues they were facing here, I don't know if I would have been contemplating a decision to leave. But, knowing how much this place hurt people I care about, made me question my feelings about it too.
I have been saddened, frustrated, aggravated and heartbroken over many of the events that have transpired here in my short time as a hubber.
Staying
What it all comes down to,I suppose, is that I'm just not ready to go. I'll know when I'm ready, because I won't have any reservations. I won't feel the pull of the place, I won't feel the regret of leaving. I'll feel good, calm about my decision. I'm not ready quite yet to toss aside my stepping stone. I'm still using it. I haven't quite made it across the water yet.
I hope we don't have to lose any more amazing hubbers and I really don't want to have to watch anymore friends get hurt. I would never tell anyone to stay or leave. They have to decide that for themselves. Likewise, I had to decide for myself to stay. I'm staying for me and when I leave, I will leave for me.
I guess, all in all, HubPages is what you make of it. Just like life, it has ups and down, twists and turns. Sometimes we're going to have to deal with the crap. It just depends on how much you want to take. I do miss the community I came in to. But I'm not mourning it. I really do believe that somewhere, buried under the affiliate pay stubs and two faced flagging, is the place I remember.
There will be more Good Times...
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Comments
I told you NinJanetta...you rawk sawks.
Never forget that! =)
I have to admit, at first it was about the money. Since I haven't made any it became more about the people here. I've met some really cool people here in my short time here. I have had an opportunity to share my funny and sad stories with everyone and the comments make me smile, laugh or just feel good. The fantastic support of hubbers has made it possible to dip my toes into poetry. Not a poet by any means but poetry people liked it so that gives me confidence. Anyway, I agree with your sentiments, though I am new here.
I am very glad that you are staying!!
Thanks Tom :) So am I
I won't lxxy! :D
Well I'm glad you're here Wesley and this can be a great community :)
Thanks Triplet Mom!!!
I am so glad you decided to stay, I enjoy your hubs and I love to see your name come up whether on your own hubs or on comments, this place would have been diminished by your leaving
Wow, thank you Maggs!! That's so sweet :D I would miss it too much, I think ;)
This is certainly a place to come and organize your writing and share it - and importantly meet other people. It offers a lot of freedom which I like. Glad you are staying and making it work for you.
Thanks, Bk :D
Don't leave, please. You are great, these challenges gets people stirred up. It is hard to do when you have alot of responsibilities and the pressure is rough. We will all get throuh it again. Hang in there.
dori
I won't Dori--at least not yet. I'm gonna stick around a bit and cause trouble ;) LOL
You're right Janetta...any place is what you make it. Glad you're still here! :)
Janetta - that was a good read because it puts things in perspective. Finally, like life, we have to make our own little corners maybe - and not let the rest of the place affect us!
I'm still new here to Hubpages and feel that I still have a lot to learn. Something tells me that I was maybe fortunate to join when I did, which was after the storm of the 100 Hub Challenge. I understand that another challenge is going on now and I'm on the fence myself on whether or not I should pursue such an endeavor.
This may be one of the most heartfelt articles on HP, coming from a hubber who has seen the marionette show, its strings and where those strings lead to. I hope that I don't lose any of the friends I've made either and so maybe that's the reason why you're staying, whether you know it or not. That's certainly why I am. Thank Janetta, for revealing this to all of us.
Thanks FP--I'm glad you're here with me ;)
Shalini--I think you said it better than I--HP becomes like a tiny world, and if you just find your own little community within that (which we have done) you can still enjoy it while the admin may be doing stuff you don't like. Well said :)
Thank you Dohn! and you're very welcome :) The challenge past and present, will mean something different to each involved. My only advice is that if you do participate--do it for you. Not because everyone else is doing it or because someone talked you into it or out of it. If you participate or opt out for your own personal reasons, then you'll never regret your choice ;)
Hi Janetta, I am glad that you are staying too :) I will definitely always drop in to read your articles because they are always excellent and full of heart.
>>> HUGS
I hope you stick around, and I think you are one of the ones who make the community better.
I understand a lot of the misgivings-- and the positive feelings as well. I think Hubpages offers a great opportunity to people who make of it whatever they wish it to be for themselves.
Hope to see much more from you.
Thanks Shiba :) You know I love ya ;-)
Thank you very much Rochelle :)
If you try to go away , I will just bug you Incessantly ! So I can say unequivocally I am glad you are still here !
hahaha--thanks Tony!! You know I could never leave ya :)
I agree, the fun has gone, Cabin Girl is gone but will always have you in her heart x
Yeah, but we don't have to let the fun be gone. We can continue to enjoy this place why we stay in our happy little nook.
Just as long the captain doesn't follow her again... ;)
Janetta, you and me both my friend!
GOOD Cindy!! I'm glad you'll be hanging around, too! :) Seems quite a few of us are refusing to get run out...lol
Take care Illinois x
xo BadCo
Missed ya ; )
Wow, I had no idea there was all this drama happening. . .
Captain, you are something else :)
Crazy isn't it, Donna? All the stuff bubbling under the surface...this place really is a soap opera some times lol
Beautifully written, as usual Janetta! I think you eloquently expressed some things that many can relate to. One thing I know for sure is that I'm VERY glad you're sticking around. You stand out in all the right ways and I may not have told you how much you bring to this place. Let me tell you now that it's a whole lot and there's no one could ever replace ya!:D
Thanks RooBee!! I may not have told you how wonderful I think you are :) I think you are sweet and kind and considerate of others, not to mention hilarious and beautiful as well--inside and out :) No one could ever replace you either and I do admire the woman you are ;)
Janetta - you can't leave without my permission. Which I haven't granted. You are glued. For posterity. Or something like that.
Otherwise - glad you're over 'it' and you know ... growing in confidence. I like to see you brim full of smiles. As opposed to frowny and miserable.
Oh and please write me a deliciously wonderful reply like RooBee got. Thankyou in advance ...
:)
Frog, my sweet!! Of course you shall get a delectable reply!! You, my dear frog, are forever in my heart :) A truer friend is hard to find-you are honest and real and full of love and though you will deny it, an excellent writer, too ;) You never fail to make me smile and I know I can always count on you--In fact its people, er...frogs like you that keep me locked in place :D And, after getting this hub off my chest--you bet I'm all smiles ;)
I thank you Janetta, I have been in a similar place as you for a few weeks now, in debate with myself. And my end thoughts are - I cant totally leave, so, i too will be here for a while yet.
You have put my thoughts into perspective.
Ali--I'm so glad you're staying and I'm also glad I was able to put this into words that are proving true for others as well. Seems a lot of us have been feeling this way as of late. Hopefully things will balance out again soon. :)
Janetta— I am certainly glad you are sticking with it. Where else can I read the thoughts of a glamorous movie star from the Golden Days of Hollywood? :)
Thanks James! Guess we'll hang around here together, huh ;)
We won't let you leave ever.
Thank you Orchestra ;)
Janetta - you know I can't write for toffee. I copy. From Mark Knowles.
I put everything through translation software, keep turning it back to english, translate again, english and so on.
Eventually his quality writing becomes the wonderful world of frog.
Bet he'd be dead pleased if he knew :)
Well I think you ARE mark knowles....
You are one of the most welcomed ones Janetta.O boy, am really picking up lol.
Well I for one am glad U are here Orchestra :) U know I loves ya ;)
You are one of HP's greatest treasures. Keep smiling :)
Thank you Deb, and so are you! ;)
Janetta, maybe the Hub community is like any other community - some really great people, some really cool spots, a place where you can be yourself and express yourself, but with all the stinky stuff of any community - a few stinkers, a few stupid rules, some idiotic ideas that some people love and other people hate. No place is perfect.
Yeah, that's what I said, Dolores. It's a tiny world here and we all play a part. It will have its ups and downs just like life :)
I'm glad you're here and staying for awhile.
Being relatively new, I'm still getting used to everything, but I agree with your sentiments, so will be back to read more of your hubs.
thanks Duchess! Welcome to HP! Hope to see ya around :)
Wow, this hub is real and kind of raw! I am in the hub challenge and not facing what you did (I don't even know the whole story) but it sounds sad. All my best to you, for writing this and for staying!
thank you ladybird! :)
Janetta, you're a wonderful writer and your thoughts are amazing too. you really touched my heart, hope to be friends.
I miss you x
Well thank you very much Amany :D
BC--u know where to find me ;)
I know, xxxx
Hey J - Where have you been? We all miss you. I must kidnap BC and make him tell me where to find you :)
Hi Shiba, sweetheart :) I took a little break from HP. I've been checking comments but the forums kept putting me in a bad mood so I haven't motored back over there yet. I've been doing a lot of writing and keeping my distance from the online time suckers lol Feel free to drop me a line anytime ;)
Have a great weekend my lil Illinois Beauty, ya know just checked out the stats on Cabin Girls Poems and the Best Friends one is way ahead of the rest, bit like the girl it was written for, loves ya loads xx
aww back at ya BC ;) Hope you're having a great one too!
There you are ! I was gonna start buggin you , cause I had,nt seen you around !
Hey Tony!! I'm around...lol
The get rich quick people will come and go, real writers will stick around and find one another..
Well said Wunderkind ;)
Janetta - I wonder what your feelings are today. It's good to see you've written a hub after two months.
I agree with you whole-heartedly. I don't like the commercial side of hp either. I think you should write only what you enjoy anyway. But then again, I do like to see when a good hubber starts seeing a few extra bucks for their 'efforts'.
Thanks for your ramblings. I enjoyed reading this. :)
Nice to see you Pacal :) thanks for stopping by. I certainly wouldn't mind seeing a few bucks for my 'efforts' but I won't be holding my breath either lol
I agree. I can put as much as I wanted out there with out any repacutions. I love this place and thank you for being so honest in this hub.
Thanks for stopping by arch! :D
I just got here so I hope you're not ready to leave. I very much enjoy your hubs so I hope to see more.
I'm not going anywhere, Cate. At least not for quite a while :)
Glad you dint leave, my how you have grown. I don't understand why you don't have more fans, but they will come. The important thing is you are here, and the forums are fun again. A lot of water has passed under the old bridge and HP is doing fine. Great writers abound all over the pages. You spilled a lot here and so well too. Those days are behind us, better days are ahead. We learned. Hugs dear, and peace, CC
Thank you CC--a lot of water has passed, that is for sure. But If i'm good at anything, it's building a bridge and getting over it. Maybe the cycle is turning back around here now. I've noticed a change lately. I'm seeing more familiar faces about and the forums are getting much better! HP won't be exactly the same as it was, but it shouldn't be. Things should change, we should change and grow. I'm glad I hung around. I'll never regret that decision :)
Me either. I just wish cindy could be on more often. I miss her as well as a few others. Don't know what has happened to BP yet. See ya later hun. Got to get to bed now. love and hugs, CC Before I forget, you might want to read my ghost story before you sign off. hehe
Yep, I know what you mean. There's a few I'd love to see back in action, so to speak. G'night CC!! Have a good one :)
The cycle is turning Janetta but peeps like you are needed to turn it, me, I lkove you always x
why thank u 13 ;) I luv you too dear
I am so happy to hear people saying hub pages IS about or has become all about the writing. my boss at one of my paid writing gigs got me into this and sure I could use the money but I like to think of this pace as "free speech" online. I know all about the two-faced flagging. I have been flagged twice now.
The first time was a knee-jerk reaction by a hubber I now readily promote and communicate with and the second time--who knows? I am still waiting to hear about that one. It was obviously a personal attack or one made by someone who doesn't think a former teacher knows how to do homework. It will be interesting to see how it turns out since the subject of my flagged hub was NOT unique and the pictures were no worse than on other hubs. I just hope I don't have to start sh*t for other simply because I am defending my own hub. Anyway, nice to see some real people out there. I'd mind my own damn business but supposedly you are supposed to interact here . . . and so I am!
well, wps, as I'm sure you've seen, we all have our own agendas around here. Some are here for networking, some for money, some just to write. It's taking it all in stride that can prove challenging. Too often we let the affairs of our peers judge our enjoyment. We have to remember why we joined in the first place and stick with it, despite the negatives.
Very interesting Hub. I too am a writer (http://www.arcticllama.com). Ironically, I found out about HubPages BECAUSE of the Challenge via some of the various writer communities I follow. However, you are right; there is something different about HP. I don't get any more traffic here than I get at Squidoo, and probably less than I get via eZine, but I LIKE coming here. Over the last month or so I've stumbled across the "writers" here and I've started to like it even more.
The solution, I think, is to stick together. Make sure you favorite those Hubs by writers that you enjoy and ignore those with a purely Internet Marketing interest. The way HP is built "our" Hubs will eventually rise to the top and theirs will drop down. Eventually, word will get out that it "isn't worth it" to do HubPages and they'll all go back to Squidoo like I did for my marketing and linking stuff.
For whatever it is worth, the rumblings of this are already out there with many IMers suggesting that HubPages has been "Google Slapped" and that the traffic and backlinks are worth less than they used to be.
So, hang in there. It looks like there will be room enough for all of us :)
Thanks hubLlama--interesting name you've got there. I think a lot changed and will change around here but I guess that's just the natural course of things. I've accepted my place in this community and decided to just hunker down and hang on. It seems to be working, the comments and views are piling up again and there's a jovial spirit in the air again.
This hub touched me like no other, and I believe I can hear your writer's voice loud and clear. It's a gentle voice and I am glad to 'meet' you.
Why thank you Lorlie :) I'm glad to 'meet' you too!
Hello Janetta
Well written and heartfelt hub. I don't know about the past here but I'm enjoying it right now and all the more when the experienced "old hands" like you take the time to share with the newbies. Thanks.
hi lovely that you are still here stay forever Brenda x
Thanks travelespresso! :) HubPages is a great community, that like any other has its good and bad. I'm glad you are enjoying it here and keep at it! before you know it, you'll be an "old hand" too lol
Hi Brenda! I probably will be here forever lol but you have to be too :)
Tom Rubenoff says:
5 months ago
Glad you're still here :o)