The birds are chirping, the sun is shinning, but let’s just pretend that Global Warming is looming in the horizon, and if we don’t all rush out and buy a Smart Car the fate of the earth will be on our hands. If we don’t change our ways the earth will blow up or burn up, all the trees will vanish, and then where will the little birdies live? The answer, they will all live in a smart car!

Yes, it’s lovely, it’s colorful, it’s, well, it’s tiny. Ok, I guess you get the point.

Edmunds calls it a tiny “fuel sipping” car, a “Herky-jerky auto manual transmission, not suited for the highway”, but should you take your life into your own hands and dare to drive on the highway it gets 41 miles per gallon. Then Edmunds sums it all up with this next observation: “The shift lag (particularly between 1st and 2nd) borders on the absurd, requiring you, when in manual mode, to lift off the gas during shifts to prevent the car from lurching forward and your neck from snapping back when the gear finally engages.

Well, on a side note, maybe if the new Health Care Plan doesn’t work for the elderly, the government will decide to give all the elderly a smart car, right after they’ve had their end of life discussion.

I’m not smart enough.

Do you ever forget where you parked your car? I do. There have been many times I’ve come out of the maul, or the grocery store, hands full of bags, and I can’t remember where I parked. Imagine if you owned the tiny Smart car, it would be well hidden below the height of other cars, you could spend hours looking for it, as your ice cream melts.

The car reviews also say, that the trunk is big enough to fit a carry on luggage. Well, isn’t that just great? So, not only should you not drive it on the highway, but if you decide to travel, the only thing you can pack will be your toothbrush and one pair of underwear.

You’ll never have to call a tow truck again, should your smart car break down, call a friend, put it in their trunk and drive it to the service station. If you have more than one child, you’ll have to drive them to school one at a time, it will be fun, and if your mother in-law comes to visit, you’ll have an excuse not to take her to dinner with the two of you.

And if you aren’t smart enough to own a Smart car, may you should consider the brand new, car of the year, the Nano. Yes, it’s bigger than a bread box, by a few inches.