The Trials And Tribulations Of Having A Penis
63
The Men Behind The Penis
Men have always caused and created more questions than answers. There are certain things that men and women can agree on and most things are up for debate. One things for certain, men are amazing creatures. I wanted to address some of these qualities in a smart and educational way. There will always be the great debate about who is the better species. I won't touch that with a ten foot pole but I will say this; my grandmother would tell me, "women see a "caution" sign and go the other way. Men see the same sign and think it's for someone else." I repeat, I am not touching the who's better debate but I must state this fact and then I'll leave the subject alone. It has been documented in medical journals and such, that an average male orgasm lasts 6 seconds. An average women's orgasm last 23. There, I'm leaving it alone.
Some facts are researched and documented and some are well... common sense. For instance, I think all us women will agree that men's restrooms, whether it be public or in their own homes, are almost always dirtier, stinkier and more urine sprinkled than womens. For some reason a clean restroom is one of those things that just don't concern them. Maybe it's because we sit and they stand.
Well this hub is dedicated to all the fine, fine men in the world. May you all keep us wondering.
Smoking can shorten a penis as much as a centimeter. I'm sure The Patch is being sold out all over the world.
Only one man in 400 is flexible enough to pleasure himself. Let's hope that's true. And let's hope you never meet that guy.
Women are going to love this one: a man does not need a brain to ejaculate (tell us something we don't know huh ladies?) The command comes from the spinal cord.
Men who die during sex are statistically not in the company of their wives. Serves them right.
The penis is shaped like a boomerang. the root of the penis is tucked up inside of the pelvis and attached to the pelvic bone.
One man's foreskin can produce 23,000 square meters of skin. Some hospitals are using foreskin for skin graffs for burn victims. Let's hope we don't burn our faces anytime soon.
There are two kinds of penises. The "Grower", the penis that expands and lengthens when erect and the "Shower", the penis that appears big most of the time and doesn't get much bigger after getting an erection. Let me guess, if your a guy reading this, your a "Shower".
Spanish research report that men who are better looking have stronger sperm. Photo's of men were shown to a number of women and they were asked to pick the handsomest. The women chose the best sperm producers most often.
You can break a penis. Although it has no bones, vigorous sex or masturbation can cause a fracture. The main cause of fractures in the emergency room are from masturbation. Puts a whole meaning to the saying "choking your chicken." I guess the penis isn't mightier than the sword.
Does your penis have a mind of it's own? You have more control over your arms and legs than you do your penis. That's because your penis gets it's commands from a nervous system that you don't always have control over. Hence the woody during church.
Hope you all enjoyed this little article and hopefully we all learned a little more about the men in our lives. I know I did.
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Comments
Can I quote you? I love this. The first line is truly quotable.
(I swear, though: it was already broken when I sat down on it.) Great information for all.
Cool topic
triplet mom- ha ha! glad you liked it
davinagirl3-yes you can:) thanks for reading.
Teresa-ha ha ha! funny:) thanks for stopping by.
bon kute- thank you.
Ouch, ya got us!
christine
This defiantly was educational and entertaining, a real good laugh.
If I told you the foreskin from new born baby boys, circumcision is what is used to grow skin, as the reproduction cells of skin are still active, would you feel better about having a graft ? :-) cheeks as soft as baby skin literally :-D
RvDaniels-thanks:) I'm good, I know:)
Watch Tower-Ha Ha. That would be nice. Their gonna have to create a new catagory for the skin care industry. Oily, dry, combination or foreskin.
How um.. illuminating. Enjoyed reading about a very unique topic :)
Thanks a lot, I enjoyed reading this :)
lol.....good pic
Very nicely written! So true! So true!
Who can write so daringly as you have done.I am no shower though.
http://ganapathi-rao.blogspot.com
http://engineeringtextilesforindia.blogspot.com
Thank you guys for reading and commenting.
Great picture. Very interesting topic.
Sandyspider-glad you liked it. Thanks.
I love this hub and what a fantastic piece of writing Christine. You had all my attention while I was reading your hub, I am forwarding this hub to every human being with a penis.
My girlfriend bought a wallet made of foreskin. When you rub it it turns into a suitcase.
Great writing, Christine.
ajm5050- I'm glad you liked it and thank you for such nice compliments. Honestly, thank you.
TobyNation- Ha Ha Ha! That is funny! Thanks for stopping by. I'm glad to know that their are other people out there with the same sick sense of humor. I now know I'm in good company:)
How many men can breathe a sigh of relief and say"honey, I had no control over it. Why I have more control over my arms and legs than I do my woody!" That is when he ends up in the emergency room with a fractured penis. By the way, do they put it in a cast?. Now that takes some 'splainin!"
Svea-I know! That would be funny, little tiny casts.
This is certainly interesting. I read it out loud so big boy could hear it, too.
James- Ha Ha! Funny:) Hope he enjoyed it and learned something new about himself.
hmm..fantastic facts about penis eh ! there is more to penis than ejaculation and sperms .. I think men are about emotions ..than just an organ ..right ? :) anyway ..such a fantastic read ! :)
Great! 6 seconds huh? No wonder they always want more. Wait a minute.... then that means... he might be faking it! ZOMG!
I'm not telling about the grower/shower debate, but my orgasm lasts about 30 seconds. Just a fact, ma'am.
Myriad-Thank you. I agree.
Sandra- ha ha.
Not Telling- 30 seconds huh? Not bad.
great hub, I got a good chuckle reading it. I recently told a group of men that I heard their penis was 3 times as long as their thumb.....no one much listened after that....they were all measuring each others thumbs!
Brilliant, I found this hilarious and impossible to stop reading until I had finished the whole hub :)
As someone who owns a penis, you did mot tell me anything I did not already know. What I want to know is how and why it does so much of my thinking for me.
Hmmm, I am enlightened. I have had a peek into your soul and it is riddled with peckers. Must be or you would not have done this marvelous hub.
Well I certainly learned a thing or two, and its a good job I gave up smoking.
The picture is funny, don't think that guy will be doin anything anytime soon. I couldn't help it number4, I measured my thumbs. Great hub.
LOL. funny and very witty. Loved every sentence of this one. Nice to know how a women really feels about this sort of thing. Thumbs up.
I love the picture AND the article. Kept me LOL'ing for a while!
Your name isn't Lorena Bobbit. Is it?;-)
Your hubs are a real tonic, you write such easy to read interesting and funny hubs that always end too soon. I am off now to read another one.
"Smoking can shorten a penis as much as a centimeter. I'm sure The Patch is being sold out all over the world."
if i told my husband this he wouldn't believe it..
so i just keep telling him its genetics.. :)
Great read. It made my night.
If I would have known then what I know now I would have kept it in my pants ... you sneaky babes!







































Triplet Mom says:
6 months ago
Wow now I understand completely!! Thanks for sharing lol.