i am writing this blog with only about three hours of sleep under my belt.  Along with my difficulty in keeping my eyes open, it is only 8:59 in the morning and I already have a headache that is begging to split my head open. 

The lack of sleep is better to explain. You see, only in NEW YORK is it appropriate to start drilling in a residential areal at 115 in the morning!  Imagine being warm and cozy in your bed, dreaming of a British actor ready to mount you and having it interrupted by the loud obnoxious buzzing of a construction crew!

With half closed eyes and a slew of curse worse uttering from mouth, I gathered by pillow and blanket and made myself comfortable on a love seat couch.  Fate really must have a sense of humor because no sooner that I closed my eyes someone's car alarm decided to go off.

I HATE New York!  I loathe it and despise it and i would rather hang myself on vacation then grow old and die in this godforsaken place.

It is NOT just my lack of sleep that is causing my disgust with the place.  If this were just one incident in the 25 years I've lived here (minus 8 months) then I would not be complaining.  No, this is just the normal inconsideration that it NEW YORK! 

Now here is the explanation for my headache.  New York is supposedly one of the greatest cities in the world for various reasons.  One of those reasons is our reliable, fast, and convenient subway system.  A person can go from one borough to another in about 35 minutes. 

I call BULLSHIT!

Reliable?  For $2.25 cents you would THINK it would be reliable! Hell, for that amount of money you are shelling out monthly it should have a cook, a masseuse and your own personal band playing your own traveling soundtrack.

It doesn't have any of the above but for $2.25 cents you get to spend 15 minutes or more getting to view the beautiful site of a rat scurrying along the rails because the train is late AGAIN!

The subways in New York are always late.  Nine times out of ten they'll blame it on "train traffic".  Train Traffic?  Really?  If these trains were on some sort of schedule and kept on that schedule then perhaps this wouldn't be a problem. 

Don't worry though because once you actually get onto the train, thats where the real fun begins.

A car on a New York train is a molesters dream. People are packed in these tiny compartments to the point that they are literally on top of each other. I would compare it to a sardine can but I feel as if that would be giving the subway car more credit then it deserves.

There is always some pervert who decides to take advantage of this fact and brush up against some body part of a female. If she says anything he'll excuse himself and pretend that it was just the jerk of the train. If not, she'll assume it was a jerk of the train.

When its not the perverts causing problems, its the people themselves. If there was such a thing as a "stupid pill" new yorkers would take it before get their commute started.

If you see that the train car is over packed as it is, why would you shove yourself in there?! There is always at least ONE person who does it. The elbow their way into a cm of space and then complain when they are squashed. Its pure genius.

Then we have the backpack people. Before going on the train, take your backpack off. It makes more room and having it on the floor will keep it from hitting me in the face every time the train makes a turn.

My personal favorite are the "readers" on the train. I understand that you're addicted to romance novels. I completely get that you need to see how your stocks are doing. My heart goes out to the student who thought they could finish their homework on the train.

But guess what? If there is no room for one person to stand up straight then there is no room for you to life your book, newspaper and notebook up and get your goal done.  It just seems to be common sense.

The "seat finders" are also fun to watch.  For future reference, for anyone who is thinking of riding a subway, just because there is a space in between two people doesn't mean its a seat.  An inch of space between to riders is not enough room for your ass.  You sitting at the edge of this "seat" and moving your hips from side to side in an effort to get people to move over is not only inconsiderate but its also annoying.  Its annoying to the point that you deserve someone next to you to reach over and smack you across the face for being such an asshole.

The rides on the subways always leave me with one important question; where have all the gentleman gone?

There used to be a time that a male would give up his seat for a female in an instant.  It was as if it were on reflex.

Now a male will push a pregnant female out of the way for a seat.  There's no joke here.  I'm absolutely serious.  I see it all the time.

It doesn't matter if your pregnant, old, handicapped or just tired from dealing with your bosses nonsense all day; a male will not get up and give you a seat.  You have to love that New York charm.

Last of the offenders is the person who feels the need to share his music with everyone.  The reason you have headphones is so that I dont have to listen to the Pussycat dolls on repeat.  I like Shakira as much as the next person but I dont need to hear about her She Wolf in the closet at 8:15 in the morning. 

For some strange reason people travel all over the world to visit this horrendous place.  I get that the big city lights really can hold some magic  for someone who has never seen it before.  Just like a Siren's call before your ship plummets to the bottom of the ocean, New York can be somewhat enchanting.

With that said it is not an excuse to make me late for work because you are walking with your mouth hanging open looking at a skyscraper.  Yes its a beautiful piece of architecture but it'll be just as beautiful if you stand over to the side and gawk at it.

The same goes for photo opportunities.  I understand that you cant go on vacation and not take pictures.  With that said, is there a reason why you have to stand in the middle of the street to take a picture of a cab?  I promise that if you go to Penn Station, they are all lined up there. You can stand right near one and get your picture without pissing off the people that have a job to go to.

Also New York is huge and anyone can easily get lost here.  Looking at a map in the middle of the block isn't going to help you find your destination any quicker then if you stand over on the side and do it.

I know people are reading this and thinking to themselves "What about the beautiful museums, plays, nightlife?  New York can't be all that bad."  Ill address all these wonders on another blog but trust me when I say things aren't what they seem.

The grass is always greener but I will never understand why someone would want to move to a small town where people say hello to you, to a city where people spend their time yelling at total strangers.