A large thank you goes out to EverydayMiracles who wrote the fabulous Hub "Why Sex is Important to Men", which got me thinking about my own relationship. See, unlike the frigid woman described in EverydayMiracles' Hub, I am a passionate woman in a marriage with a frigid husband. The media and our friends would all have us believe that men are slobbering sex monsters, who need it twice a day every day darnit! A man's libido is so tied up with his masculinity that even if he does have a low libido, like my husband, he will play along like he wants sex all the time too just to fit in.

I know for a fact my husband isn't the only one out there like this. I've browsed forums and read comments here on Hubpages about women who have discovered that the myth of the male libido is total crap. Just like hair color or fingerprints, everyone's sex drive is different, male or female. It's coming to a compromise that matters.

 So we have to assume that at least some of these horny goats are fibbing while snubbing their partners at home. And here's the thing, all that outside pressure to be horny from outside sources can really deflate the mood at home. What man, after pretending like he's horny all day, actually wants to go home and do the deed. Being pressured into doing something leads to an experience that is zero fun at all. I won't pretend to know all the reasons for male low libido, whether physical or emotional or simply natural, but I do know that many men also think that sex should be on their schedule, whether frequently or infrequently. For those men who fall on the more infrequent side I have a plea from warm and welcoming wives everywhere, loosen up and give in! Here are some reasons why.

 Many women love to be hugged, touched and kissed as signs of affection, and sex is simply the next step. Just like you need to feel respected, a woman needs to feel appreciated. She needs to feel beautiful and loved, no matter how she looks. Need a visual? Try watching "Freida", a movie about the famous artist and her husband Diego Rivera. There is a scene where, before he makes love to her, he looks at the scars on her back from a terrible accident, and huskily moans how beautiful she is, and you can tell he means it. True story too, the man was NOT handsome but he had women by the score because he had an artistic eye for beauty and made women feel gorgeous. Imagine how happy you can make your wife by validating her need for physical connection, affection, and need to feel beautiful by fulfilling her sexual desires.

 Besides taking pleasure, women are also natural nuturers. They want you to feel proud and fulfilled (in a healthy relationship at least). Often times a woman doesn't want to have sex just to gallop towards the big "O", instead she wants to see the fire in your eyes. She wants to relieve you of the burdens of a heavy day. Set aside your worries and cares, and take a nice mini-vacation in bed with your wife. You'll be amazed at how clear your head and heart feel afterwards.

 As a couple you've hopefully learned each other's moves well enough for all participants to..reach the peak shall we say? Trust me, you want to go to a little effort to get your wife to this place. An orgasm has been found to release endorphins, which are the happy chemicals in your brain. Besides a feeling of happiness endorphins can also help ease ailments such as headaches and the horrifying PMS. Trust me, you'll be doing yourself a favor by taking off your pants.

 Gents, I won't pretend to know what makes you tick...or not. It's beyond me! But whatever the reason is behind your steadfast refusal of your wife's advances, stop and think about if it's really worth it to deny her needs. After all, you don't want to end up hiding in the bathroom while she hunts for you in a black corset screeching "want some cansy little boy". Don't make us crazy, dear husbands, please.