Why Teenaged Girls Are Idiots
71The Final, Clinching Proof...
This is an instant message conversation between My best friend Erin and myself. If you want to kill both of us after you read this, you may.
[People who have been kind enough to comment on this hub have made me realize that I haven't explained well enough the reasons why I put this hub up.
I am not asking for sympathy, or fishing for compliments, or just telling the world that I think I'm fat. That is NOT what this hub is about. Why would I go around saying 'I'm fat' to people on the internet who most certainly don't care what my weight is? That would be ridiculous, wouldn't it? And I know you think it's ridiculous, because so many people have told me to 'get on with life'!
Here's the thing: I KNOW it's stupid. I wrote it up in the title. Teenaged girls are STUPID. Even supposedly 'bright' ones!
This conversation is just supposed to be a sort of window into our lives, so to speak. We know we're not hideous. We just like making a fuss anyway. We overdo things. We scram and cry and create a LOT of drama, when half the time there's nothing to wail about. That's what's funny! So please, don't take this hub so seriously! It's only a little humour, a couple of very flawed characters that OUGHT to belong in some comic book where all the characters are flawed (Dilbert comes to mind, but we don't work yet, so boo) but are actually real people, pretty intelligent, creative, people (I like to sing my praises!) who are just being stupid because everyone is stupid and it's fun to be stupid and overdramatise how we feel about what people think of us! And we did it in a funnier way than some people, who, you know, cut gashes in their skin, so appreciate that teenagers will be teenagers, eventually grow up, and mock other people who are stuck in the realm of adolescence. Cheers. read on if you wish.]
Erin: apparently people think im like kate moss, keira knightly thin
May: ok, no no no, no
Erin: THEN WHY??? i think im may have to hog
May: hello, they're PEOPLE
Erin: help
May: you know what we think about PEOPLE, dont you???? no no
Erin: yeah but its getting annoyinggggg
May: no hogging bad girl! so? theyre JEALOUS, remember? why cant you just silently giggle in your head and pity them?
Erin: oh and ever since STUPID KAREENA KAPOOR stole my dressing sense and became size zero...EVERYBODY is all "so you must be size zero, right?". Nooooo May, its NOT just girls
May: hahahhahahha who cares????? why?
Erin: thats the catch
May: why are you so worried about PEOPLE?????
Erin: i careeeeeeeee
May: well, THEN i cant help you
Erin: noooooooooooooo but duuuuuude multiple people AND relatives
May: well, theyre all stupid remember how we said people are stupid?
Erin: and people say it very condescendingly
May: not everybody can be thin so they're like "dear God" about it
Erin: WHY WOULD BOYS BE JEALOUS?
May: coz theyre not thin
Erin: boysssssss huh why would they compete with me?? also, some of them are thin too
May: coz they want to be thin and they cant have you! so then poke them
Erin: Yeah RIGHT, so that way all attractive girls would be hated
May: yep they are its an occupational hazard
Erin: not by GUYS!! May...lets face it..im anorexic
May: Holy crap, Erin! shut up no no sh
Erin: people have started making the "you are not even size zero, you're size minus!" and "you're 2 dimensional" jokes
May: remember how we discussed that people are MORONS????? just because humans overcame natural selection..... sigh
Erin: and "if you stand against that wall i wont see you" and "olive oyle"!! OLIVE OYLE!!!!
May: ok shut up. shut up and watch tv
Erin: IM BEING CALLED OLIVE OYLE
May: ohmygod
Erin: AND YOU ARE TELLING ME TO WATCH TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May: yes YES
Erin: (which i AM doing anyway)
May: khkhkhkhkh! why!! i cant!!! I CANT!!!! ERIN YOURE THIN!!!! I WOULD KILL TO BE AS THIN AS YOU!!!!
Erin: TO THINK IM BEING CALLED 2D!!!!!!!!
May: WOULD YOU SHUT THE &^%#&$^!*#& UP
Erin: 2DDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!! ANIMATION MOVIES BEAT ME
May: SO THAT I CAN RETAIN THE LEFTOVERS OF MY SELF ESTEEM??????? oh myGOD SHSHSHSHSH TV BEAUTIFUL TV LA LA LA LA... i cannot! Take this anymore! No!!
Erin: YOUR self esteem!?!?!?!? YOU ARE ALL BEYONCE FIED!!! IM A WALL!!! a wall, GODAMNIT!!
May: i am SO not beyoncefied Im a bottle
Erin: oh please
May: no no, I'm a FAT bottle
Erin: i know it you know it! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
May: i dont know it? what? what am i knowing now?
Erin: at least you ARE a bottle!!! all hour glass!!! im a waaaaaaalllllllllllllllllll... LETS TAKE THIRD PERSON OPINION
May: im so confuuuused, Erinnnnnn!!!! no, wait, who?
Erin: Talia (even though she isnt human and doesnt tecnically count..its okay...cuz im a wall)
May: no third person is going to tell us to our faces. HER??? SHE'LL JUST INSULT BOTH OF US AND YOU KNOW WHAT?????? ITS OK
Erin: nono just about me
May: COZ WE ALWAYS HEAR THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT SHE SAYS! TALIA IS ALWAYS WRONG no no not her no way in hell no
Erin: i have the privilage of knowing mean people like Logan, he'll tell me if im a wall!
So neither of us is happy with our bodies, for no reason at all, and this is what the world is coming to. I don't know whether to laugh, or cry, or both, but here you have it. Adolescents today. This seemingly moronic conversation is actually a very insightful window into our times. LOOK at us!!! I am appalled by the ridiculousness of it all, and I'M ONE OF THEM!!!!
Key:
Kareena Kapoor: Actress who lost a lot of weight dramatically in the recent past and became a 'size zero', which is why the term 'size zero' is all the rage here these days.
Talia: A girl we know who is kinda self obsessed and mean to everybody who is better at her in any field coz she's so insecure.
Logan: Erin's boyfriend.
* Names have been changed to protect the identities of those mentioned. Or, you know, coz it was fun thinking up new names for them.
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Comments
But, no no. LOOK at us! My writing probably centres me for, like, five seconds. Next thing people are being obsessive and compulsive and downright crazy, and there I am, on the doggone wave again!
But my point with this hub was... I dunno. Look at the irony. We both look pretty OK, but we both want to look like the other. That's how stupid.
Thanks for commenting, by the way. Appreciate it :) And thanks for the thing about how having me as a friend would serve Erin well. Hee hee. Self esteem just rose a little there on the chart!
You both look very lovely-- now, that being said, get on with your lives. You seem to be a very bright girl!
I would say you both look more than "ok" - you look beautiful. And look at YOU! A 90 score hubber...smart too. I agree with Rochelle - appreciate your own individuality, write more hubs, and live!! ;)
Thank you for those lovely comments! Aw. I'm going to show Erin this stuff so that she shuts up already!
AW!!!!!!!!!!You are both so so sweet. It really is a pity that that you dont live in the same city, but, oh well. And you DON'T look like a bottle. I "would kill" to look like you. Idiot. But love is there.
Lol...now that's quite a hub you have there! In the end, you should not decide to look thin or big because of how the rest of the world feels. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you like who you are. Not even your best friend's opinion should matter.
I know, I know. I just put this conversation up to display to the world the irony of things. It's a snapshot, a single humorous conversation, but it shows us so much, like how people refuse to be satisfied, and how ridiculous our perception of 'beauty' has become. In one way, the world's mindframe is growing wider as we accept our differences, but in another way, here we are, refusing to accept bodytypes that aren't 'trendy'.
Thanks for that comment :)
After reading your hub I felt confused as to what is going on here? So I asked my teenage daughter (18) if she could read and give me her thoughts. Maybe she could relate because she is closer to your age. Here are her comments: "that's the gayest thing I've ever read in my entire life. What a waste of time".
Like the comment above from Rochelle I have to agree; get on with your life, you seem to be a very bright girl!
I think I need to post exactly WHY I put this conversation up... nobody seems to be getting it!
(Also, no offence meant but I think you should look into the negative connotation your daughter is putting into the word 'gay'. I know a lot of people use it like that, but I really don't think it's right! Thanks for you comment, though. I appreciate your taking the time.)
Maylinda, I gotcha now. Thanks for adding clarity to this hub. LOL
Also I agree with you 100% about the negative connotation on the word 'gay' that my daughter used. It is not right and it went right over my head. I appreciate that you pointed that out for the both of us to correct.
So, right, you confimed it, right, teenage girls ARE idiots. Very funny hub. I liked it!
Hahah, thank you :) Yes, we are.
too funny...lol...yu ve got nice writin skills!!
Teenage girls are idiots,,.. gr8 hub.
I laughed several times reading this. It sounds so much like conversations my best friend and I have had. Thanks for sharing. : )
Shadesbreath says:
18 months ago
The upside of adolescence is it passes. Just got to ride the wave. The great hormone inflated dramas usually fall away with the advent of a career, spouse, kids... or just the absence of too much hormone. lol. I bet your writing keeps you centered quite nicely through the gantlet of this chemical deluge and having a friend like you likely serves Erin well too.