I have interviewed more than 20,000 single professionals over the past 20 plus years.  The majority of them were bungling their pursuit of the right marital partner.  This is so prevalent that I have christened this phenomenon "The Successfully Single Syndrome," and authored a book on the subject. 

Some individuals merely withdraw, disillusioned with the whole singles scene. By this action, they eliminate themselves from situations with the potential of making a connection. These poor souls may reach their late 30s or 40s leading lives of quiet desperation. The Successfully Single Syndrome is the leading cause of the epidemic that leaves people single and unfulfilled. Precious time has been lost. Months or years have been invested with the wrong person.

Today's singles scene is turbulent.  This dramatically affects our lives with consequences that will last for generations.  All that served as the foundations of a stable society is crumbling.  It was not that long ago in human history that a young man and woman would fall in love; get married; raise a family; and grow old together.  Individuals would select a partner in high school or in college, where they interacted daily among numerous candidates with similar interests.   With the arrival of the birth control pill; the sexual revolution; and some of the more strident varieties of feminism, mating rituals changed radically, resulting in the postponement of marriage for most people.   

The problem is a combination of actions, and inactions, day after day, relationship after relationship. The syndrome results in singles remaining single. I want to focus on the plethora of Quasi-Successful Serial Monogamous Relationships. These leave people successfully single in their aftermath and unsuccessful at finding their soul mate. My mission is to help you evaluate a potential partner and save the one thing no one can create more of in their life—time—as you pursue a relationship to find love.

After years of demoralizing first dates and failed Quasi-Successful Serial Monogamous Relationships, people tend to become less selective in their dating choices—and may ultimately marry someone who comes along at just the right time and is at least "in the ballpark." This is a major factor in our horrendous divorce rate. After a period of time, and sometimes after creating children, they find that whatever brought them together in the first place no longer exists. And after divorce, it becomes even more difficult to find love. For one reason, the children you now have introduces huge complications.

A truly modern, and disturbing trend, is the incredible rate of divorce we are now experiencing.  The large selection of potential mates in high school or college does not exist in the adult world.  Once out of school,  one will never again socialize with hundreds of those of the opposite sex every day.  There is less opportunity for dating and less time to spend searching for appropriate marriage partners.  People get busy working their way up the corporate ladder, starting their own enterprise, and perhaps traveling extensively, or even relocating repeatedly, for business reasons.   

How do we break this vicious cycle and find love for life? Tune in next time and I will make my best effort to answer this question.