Why You Might Not Want To Tell Your Kids There Is A Santa Claus
83I realize right off the bat this may be a controversial topic, but maybe parents should consider why they tell their children there is a Santa Claus. I love Christmas for the purposes of fun decorations and spending time with family and friends, but I never believed in Santa Claus. So was I deprived of a great childhood experience? Not from my point of view. I grew up as a Jehovah's Witnesses so I was not even allowed to go trick-or-treating until I was in the fourth grade when we left that group, but I do not feel I missed out because I did not believe in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. I love celebrating holidays, but I just am not big on telling kids about characters they will one day find out do not exist. Upon reading this hub and even before I wrote it I knew my views are of the minority persepctive, but please keep in mind this hub is just about my opinion. Nevertheless, I feel comfortable in my minority stance on this issue, especially since I know many people think I am a wet-blanket for even suggesting life without Santa can still be a ball. Movies and other fiction about Santa are fun, but to me that is what they are: fiction.
The Economics of Christmas
There is a great social and economic divide when it comes to the Christmas season. Yes there are charity organizations that donate food and toys to needy families, but those with less are always going feel the difference around Christmas. So you tell their kids there is a Santa Claus that brings toys to all the good boys and girls of the world, but how will your kids deal with the economic disparities of the kid who only got one toy as opposed to the one who got every luxury item on their list?
This may not seem like an issue to some, but growing up in a community of with many Beverly Hills wannabees it was definitely noticed. Wealthy kids would bring their new treasures for show and tell after Christmas, and some would often make fun of the kids who do not have this new found wealth. A few kids teased me about how I must be a bad person because Santa did not give me gifts, but since I was celebrating Christmas at the time it did not phase me much. However, I did have a few friends who were not so well to do, and they discovered over the holiday season that Santa did not exist because they did not get as many toys as their peers.
So how can you justify telling your kids that Santa visits everyone's house on Christmas eve when it is economic reality some kids will get less toys than others? Some families to not accept charity, and what do they tell their children during the one year they cannot get them what they want for Christmas? Some kids are teased when their family accepts Christmas gifts from charity, and yes I have seen this happen. This may not be an issue in communities where there are less economic disparities, but in town with a large gap between the upper class and the lower class the significance is definitely apparent.
Bribing Kids With Santa
Not all parents do this, but I have seen a few who will use the upcoming holiday to bribe their children into behaving. One person I knew used to complain that her kids were so well behaved around the holidays, but afterwards they went back to not listening. These kids were conditioned to believe they had to be on Santa's good list to get what they wanted, but once the holiday was over there was no reason to do their chores or take the dog for a walk. The same can be true about parents who overly rely on economic and material rewards through out the year, but what is the purpose of telling kids they have to be on Santa's good list? I think it is one thing to encourage kids to behave well, but using Santa as a bribe just seems funny to me. Once again this is just my opinion, so do not get upset because I do not believe Santa Claus bringing toys should be an incentive for good behavior.
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Kids Will Find Out Eventually
Eventually all kids will realize there is no Santa Claus, and it is a lot of work to keep up the act. Do you ever get sick of having to say there is a Santa in front of overly sensitive relatives that insist their kids must believe in this character? Okay call me Scrooge, but I told my niece and nephew there was no Santa, but they still believed anyway because their mom made such a big hoopla about it. I do not go around telling other peoples' kids there is no Santa, but my niece and nephew are a different issue. I spent a great deal of my time babysitting them when my brother in law worked or went off to do social things with his friends, so I feel I have a right to share some of my opinions with them. It did not change the fact they still believed in Santa because my sister insists on telling them about this character, but when they asked me what I believed I told them. One day they will find out Santa does not exist, and why not spare kids the disappointment now?
By the way, I think way too much is made out of those who are bold enough to share with kids that they do not believe in Santa Claus. Personally I would not tell kids there is no Father Christmas because people do not like it, but I really could care less if others do. A substitute teacher in the UK was asked not to come back to one school just because she divulged to the students that Santa was not real. Okay that was probably a mistake, but I really think this is overreacting to get upset just because someone said Santa did not exist. In school I had substitute teachers say God and Santa Claus did not exist, but I never went home to tattle about that. I am a sensitive person myself, but I think it is way too extreme to ask a substitute teacher not to come back just because they did not say Santa's sleigh is real.
In the end I just believe it is easier tell kids the truth about Santa intially because they will find out anyway. My sister teases me that if I ever have kids she will make them believe in Santa because of my stance on this issue. However, I still think it is a big act to keep up since children will find out there is no Easter Bunny and Santa Claus anyway.
Should kids be told that Santa is real?
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Comments
I think little children should have as many wonderful things as that they can hold on to. It will be all too soon when the have to face the realities of life. The commerical world will make sure that they demand the latest thing and where they should get it. You hit on a major point. The income levels are more mingled than ever before. Kids with a lot of things mingle with kids that don't have as much; that makes it very hard. We didn't have much growing up but neither did anyone around us.
James,
I am glad you enjoyed reading it. These are simply some of the issues I grappled with at an early age since I lived in a community where the economic and social divide was highly pronounced. I appreciate your comments.
Pete,
I see what you mean by not wanting kids to be deprived of childhood fun, but I guess since I never believed in Santa Claus I just look at this differently. I had a fun childhood without him, and you are right the commercial world will always encourage kids to ask for material items they need and do not necessarily want, and Christmas is not the only force driving this.
I think children need to have Santa in their lives. Our society forces them to grow up long before they are ready. Let children be children and have thier dreams before reality bites...The less fortunate are usually provided for through Christmas charities like Christmas Tree Angel's, Salvation Army and etc.
While earning your daily bread, be sure you share a slice with those less fortunate. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Thanks for sharing your views Nancy, but I still think kids who do not have Santa in their lives do pretty darn fabulous also. Yes there are charities that provide for children, but as I was noting many kids can feel the differences in economics in communities with great disparities between classes. I have seen kids teased for receiving charity baskets around the holidays, so it is always something I think about. However, most people will tell their kids about Santa, but I feel I had a fabulous and rich childhood without it.
interesting point you brought there Sp. I have not really believed in Santa since I was six. I caught mom and dad wrapping the presents on Christmas Eve. But for whatever reason I have instilled the idea into my daughters head, and will probably do so with Spencer when he is older. We don't have a whole lot to spend on the kids, but we make do, and I put Santa's name on half the presents, as do my Parents. Faith hasn't caught on yet. When she does, I will be happy to explain, even if it does make her upset with me.
Honestly I was just thinking of things to write for the 30 day hubathon. If I ever have kids I probably will not teach them about Santa since I never believed in him, but we tend to raise kids the way we were raised.
I definitely grew up not believing in santa clause. did i miss out on christmas? absolutely not...it is still by far my favorite holiday. I love it. I more saw santa as a symbol of christmas rather than the real thing. This lead to me not being disappointed or having high hopes. I am glad my parents did not do that to me, i would have been devastated for years!
I stopped believing in Santa, as soon as I saw the assistant principal dressed up as a Santa Clause. We laugh and poked some kids joke on him. But it was a great feeling having something to believe in.
Hi Mayhmong,
I think most kids feel the way about Santa I feel about other things. Really this is just a fun hub.
One of my sons began to resent Santa Claus and said -'if Santa's so great, why doesn't he come to visit me, sit down and talk to me?'
I thought that was a hilarious and dead on attitude.
Dolores,
Your sons sound like they are very mature for their age, but I totally agree with their comment.
A neighborhood Mom became *very* upset with us because we explained to our first-grader that there was no Santa Claus. Our child was happy to relay the information to other kids on the school bus. Evidently this caused no end of heartache; mostly to the parents I suspect.
We told our child that even though Santa is a myth, it's fun to pretend once a year. We still wrote "From Santa" on some of her her presents and we all had a chuckle over it.
Hi Nicomp,
I think some parents overreact when kids tell other kids there is no Santa. On one blog a parent said that a whole bunch of kids, hers included, were told to explicitly not be friends with a girl that had told her peers she did not believe in Santa, which I find shocking. I cannot help but wonder if some kids end up becoming teased because parents tell their kids that they should only be friends with certain types of people. I know that happened when I grew up anyway, and later the parents wondered why their kids were teasing and being mean to certain kids that were not like them.
I like your idea of how even if Santa is a myth you can still write to him. There is nothing wrong with that. I think Santa movies are cute too.
Tim Allen's Santa Clause I and II were very good. No one in my family thought they were documentaries. ;)
I love Tim Allen movies and he is great in those roles. Good point, about how these are not documentaries :). It is just fun and fantasy. Most people do not believe faeries and dragons are real, but I know people like to read, draw pictures, and watch movies about these mythical creatures. I never recall anyone getting upset because one kid told another kid that dragons are not real, but people are up and arms about Santa lol.
I enjoyed reading your opinion about telling kids that Santa Claus isn't real, I never believed in Santa, I always knew it was my step dad, he's so big into perfect fairy tale holidays though... I never said anything lol! I think that Santa is kind of a overly killed bribe at this point, "if your good Santa will buy you toys."
The entire thing about Santa bringing the good kids more toys and the broke family getting teased for it is terrible... I always used to get teased because Santa brought me clothes, although I was grateful.
I think that there is so much real magic in the world that the entire idea of lying to children about fictional characters being real is just plain dumb, my mom always taught me to see the real wonders in the world, the true magic... and even though I didn't believe in Santa I never felt deprived. :)
Nice Hub!
Cam,
I love your positive and truth based attitude about Santa. We teach our children to tell the truth and not to lie, but by creating the mythical character Santa we do in a way let them down. I too never felt deprived without Santa, and honestly I think it is more fun just to have seen him as a fun character all along. We do not believe snowmen are real, but these are still fun to make during the winter.
It was traumatic to me when my older brothers told me there is no Santa Claus. My immediate reaction was that if my parents and everyone else was lying about Santa Claus, then they were probably lying about God as well. Nevertheless the peer pressure is so great that I carried on the myth with my own children. I would never tell someone else's child there is no Santa Claus, but I would like to see the myth fade away over time. Lying to children, even when it's meant to make children happy in the short run, is not a good idea in the long run.
Hi William,
Personally I would not tell other peoples' children that there was no Santa, but my niece and nephew were another matter. In our family I told my niece and nephew many things, and my sister was okay with it. She still wanted them to believe in Santa though, but I think my nephew pretty much knew the jig was up a few years ago.
I really would not be upset if I heard an adult was telling kids there was not Santa, or if their children told their classmates the truth. However, on several websites I read vitriolic comments by parents who said they would tell their children not to play with or speak to any child who told their offspring that Santa was a myth. To me this was way too extreme because I am always hearing people talking about respecting diversity and teaching their kids to be friends with everyone, but when it came to Santa they would shun their kids.
This made me wonder if some people are not as accepting as they let on to be, and if they had a problem with a kid who said they did not believe in Santa, would they also ostracize children whose parents were in a same sex relationship? I think that the Santa trend will probably fade over time as you suggest, but in the present I think some parents are being a little too sensitive about those who do not raise their kids to believe Santa is real.



















James A Watkins says:
8 months ago
You made some excellent points I had not thought of before, such as the kids from less-well-off families feeling like they hadn't been "good enough" to have gotten presents as nice as the rich kids (or being told that). I agree with you. We don't need Santa Claus to detract from the real meaning of Chrirtmas. I enjoyed reading you hub.