Have you ever been out with some friends, having a few drinks and some laughs, when all of a sudden you feel someones hot breath on the back of your neck? Only to turn around and see some guy who uses way to much gel in his hair. As you start to notice this guy getting closer to you with a dumb ass grin on his face and the overbearing smell of what you believe to be cologne and not enough breath mints, a smell that punch you in the sinuses and sticks to the back of your mouth. You quickly think to yourself not me, not tonight. But before you can fully process what is happening its to late, the onslaught of cheesy pick up lines come at you, one after another. No matter what your response is this guy just doen't get it. After about thirty-seconds you start to look for one of your friends to come and save you from this moron, only to notice they have all left to go to the bathroom. You try to be nice telling him that you are not interested, but that doesn't work. You tell him you have a boyfriend, he doesn't care. It gets to the point were you just walk away and then he makes some rude comment or calls you a name, as if this is going to work in his favor somehow. When you finally find your friends and tell them what happen they all give you some advice on how to deal with those "type" of guys, as if you didn't try half of the ones they suggested. (Drunk friends are so helpful). Recently I did some research on pick up lines and I found some really good response to them that just might work. Below I listed a few good ones.

   Man: "Hey baby, whats your sign?"  Woman: "Do not enter"

   Man: "Haven't we met before?"  Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic"

   Man: "Is this seat empty?"  Woman: "Yes, and mine will be too if you sit down"

   Man: "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"  Woman: "Yeah, that's why I dont go there any more"

   Man: "I'd go to the end of the world for you."  Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"

   Man: "You're one in a million."  Woman: "So are your chances"

   Man: "Your place or mine?"  Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine"

   Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"  Woman: "Unfertillized"

And the best one is....

  Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."  Woman: "No thanks. There's already one asshole in there"

       I hope you enjoyed these, and maybe some could come in handy one night.  Before I finish I would like to leave you with some of the "CLASSIC"  one liners. Enjoy.

 Hey Baby:

  I seem to have lost my number.  Can I have yours?

  Do you have any Irish in you?  Would you like some?

  Is that a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.

  You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

  Is it hot in here or is it just you?

  Are you a parking ticket? Because you have fine written all over you.

  Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten-I-see!

  Screw me if I'm wrong, but is your name Helga?

  You're so sweet you're giving me a toothache.

  If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together.