Today I want to touch on the topic of why women hang on to a dead or even non-existent relationship. Why do men and women have to be in a relationship to feel complete anyway?

I'm no authority on issues of the heart, but when I reflect back to those few times I allowed myself to put all my faith in a man the conclusion was, I was not mentally or emotionally in a good space within myself at the time and I gave them too much power over me. Plain English I was not thinking for myself or about my needs.

I believe as women we many times make ourselves too available to men and we should be more challenging to them. Men appreciate the thrill of the chase and when we make ourselves too available they quickly loose their interest and I'm sure it works the same way when a man over does his intentions towards a woman.

I had a chat with one of my young co-workers. I asked him the question and his response was pretty much what I thought...many times after first meeting a young lady it turns out that the lady isn't who she presented herself to be at the beginning and the good feelings die quickly after first meeting. He said that many times just because he's nice or takes them out they overdo it with phone calls, texts messages and offering to do everything short of have his baby. He said he feels he should work a little for a ladies time and attention and when he doesn't have to, no matter how "hot" he thinks she is, he will leave her alone.

I had the thought pop into my head when I first started seeing my guy and his constant comment to me was "we'll be great as long as you (meaning ME) doesn't change up on him." When I asked him to explain what he meant by this, he said that when we first met I was very open, honest and affectionate (which is something he wanted and needed) and most important kind. He explained that if he felt I wasn't doing what I was doing in the beginning that our relationship would eventually fade out.

Just to be clear, I had expectations of him as well, and being an independent self assured woman I continue in the realtionship because we both respect each other as individuals and although we have both changed in ways, we never held on to something we thought was anything other than what we wanted. If it wasn't a healthy relationship on both ends one of us would have ended it amicably.

I believe that many women do not give up because they expect the guy to change into this ideal they have in their heads of what they want the guy to be. Sorry to tell you this ladies, but if he's late, doesn't pay for the date or his apartment or car is a mess, that pretty much is exactly the way it will be down the road.

Remember you cannot change anyone other than yourself. If the relationship or friendship isn't what you would like it to be, chances are that it never will be and you need to be strong and simply walk away. Ladies and gentlemen, sometimes we need to give up and let go, and more often than not I see women hanging on to a dream rather than facing the reality.