Why Can't I Get A Girlfriend?
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The keys to the dating kingdom are within your grasp.
That has to be the most asked question I've ever faced. Every guy, at some point, wonders this very question.
Are you ugly?
Too short?
Too tall?
Not dressing well enough?
Bad haircut?
Body odor?
Bad breath?
Loudmouthed?
The answer could be a yes to any of the above. Usually though, it's not. (If there is a yes up there, work on what you can change and accept what you can't.)
If you ask yourself those questions then you're already prepared for the answer. It's like the person that asks themselves if they're crazy. If you can ask yourself the question then you're not.
The things that most guys miss out on is the fact that they are not getting dates because of only two things:
- 1) Personality
- 2) Perseverance
These are the keys to getting dates.
Summed up we have:
Personality: how you act and react around people. Are you a good conversationalist and a great listener? Do you actively participate in conversations or do you attempt to "hog" conversations, butting in, not giving other participants time to talk? Do you try to change the subject? Do you interrupt?
Are you funny? Are you good humored? Can you make people laugh with you (not at you)?
Do you get upset easily and share your disappointment with anyone within earshot?
People like to be with other people that have a positive personality; people that have "active listening skills" (being able to ask intelligent questions about the subject being discussed, paying attention to the current speaker, and not trying to change the conversation or butt into the group of talkers). Do people naturally gravitate towards you because you are smiling, warm and friendly?
Perseverance: how are you with problems, turns of events, when things don't go your way? Do you get angry and give up or do you hunker down and find alternate solutions? Being able to find a girlfriend is all about taking rain on your parade and hoping for a rainbow. Sure, you'll get some rejection, that's life. But can you make the negative experience of a "No" turn into a learning experience and work towards the next girl's "Yes"?
Guy's feel that, when a girl says no, their life is over. Self-doubt creeps in, ruining all other aspects of their daily life. Miserable, that's what happens. And this negative emotion is so strong that people around you can feel it and are turned off by it/you. You must persevere, you must not only tell yourself, but believe, that this downturn of events is temporary, exceedingly temporary. There is another girl on the horizon, likely a more friendly, more compatible, more date-able girl coming up next.
You have the keys to the kingdom now:
Personality
Perseverance
The ball is in your court and here comes the ball-girl now... what will you do?
Here's the next move:
http://hubpages.com/hub/Two-Great-Ways-For-A-Guy-To-Ask-A-Girl-Out
Here's a great resource:
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Comments
Thanks, I guess all those lonely nights turned into something good afterall... LOL
i have bf :) thanks nice informative hub
I suppose its a decent article, but not sure how relevent it is to most people who cant find a date for the life of them, everyone I ask says their is nothing wrong with me, and I try as hard as I can to perservere with women but afater 22 years and not a single date despite the number of women I've tried to ask out I'm pretty much about ready to give up.
But Steve, did you read the paragragh that starts with "Guy's feel that..." ? Do you not see a resemblance of yourself? Giving up at 22? Maybe you need some more to read. I have tried to help. And will continue to try.
throughout my teens and up to the age of 24[im 26 ]i was in constant need to have a gf and seeking love and the life so many have and take for granted.im quite good looking,id say thoughtfull intelligent in good health,i have a decent job and have my life ahead of me.but i have never had a stable relationship and have totally give up trying and hopeing.i used to try and make an effort to look good be myself and im always honest,but lately ive lost all care in anything to do with females,i think the very nature of man is to procreate and its this what drives men and when you get to id say 25 and your in same position,u might aswell give up and live how you want without the constant need to impress,its great not having to make an effort knowing all your money is yours,i did want kids someday but ts ruled out,im just pleased to be an uncle now,i think women now have a resounding urge to have dark colored kids[im white]and that is a large factor,however im very happy and have come to terms with my situation and relish my futre travelling the world,in this life u either got 'it' or you aint,'it' is the whole man package and is abundent fortunatly for women,like a car with more features than a standard model i am glad that i will never be needed,i can live my life as i choose,totally free
I think that, if you find yourself trying to hard to "get" a woman in your life, then many great opportunities have passed you by while chasing the wrong women.
Life is full of surprises and any guy that tries to create his own life, to direct the smallest details, will find himself a failure because he has set up for himself an unattainable goal.
Let life and love find you, but remain positive, clean cut and in good humor.
Love will find you!
i cant find a girlfriend, no matter how hard i try, or what adivice i take. i am considering suicide. i really need help. I AM NOT A TROLL
Hi Jon, stop trying so hard. Don't define yourself by the girlfriend you don't have yet.
And make a call to your local suicide hotline... you do need to talk to someone NOW!
Thanks for the advice. I'll try my best to follow it. Most of this stuff i've been doing for a while, and still can find a girlfriend...
I've been trying to find someone for long enough.
I appriciated your advice. My problem is I have the preserverence, but not the personality. I wouldn't say I'm shy, I'd like to talk to people sometimes but I can't, I just don't have anything to say. I'm somewhat of a personal guy, I hardly have any friends. Often times I feel as if I'm better on my own, I just want to think about girls or dating because it only makes me feel worse. Basically my problem I guess is communication, I'm not good at talking to people I'm unfamiliar with. And its way outside of my "comfort zone". I'm 18, a little on the thin side and have obviously never dated before haha, but the way things have been going, is it ever going to get any better? I'm in college and at this point its somewhat hard to meet new people (especially hard for me to be social). But I don't really want to date when I'm past 30. It would feel like I've wasted my youth and my "good days" would be behind me. I'm not a complete loner, I do talk to some people, guys and gals, but I suppose just not enough, I don't seem to have that "charm". On the other hand just about every girl I know and have meet is already dating! how is a guy suppose to compete with that!? I see couples all around me as I walk around everyday, its a little embrassaing sometimes. Haha yeah I'm a mess I know, but its life I suppose. I just want things to start improving, I really want to start feeling better about myself.
Hi Matt,
When you're surrounded by girls that are already dating, ask them if they have any single girlfriends. Making a quartet with the girls and guys that you already know is an excellent first step to becoming a guy with regular dates.
And for heavens sake, find your voice! Try this site:
being single and hanging out with mostly couples really fucking sucks. I realized that earlier.
Fuck impressing women
Tell me about it. I've tried really hard lately just to get a date to prom. I still can't get one and Prom is in 5 days. I just gave up and accepted the fact, and i'm going to sit it out this time. But It's like i can't impress them, I'm 17, Never had a girlfriend My whole life, never even gotten close. I try alot, and i'm a really funny person, great sense of humor, strong (for the most part), but i'm too skinny. I'm underweight but tall. I'm also a very nice down to earth guy. But they always say no to me and yes to the next "Stereotypical hunk" that asks. It's been that way for me my whole life. Even asking a girl to homecoming was hard. The guys they usually reject me for is those "Strong", "Plays every sport", "complete jerks", and "attractive" kind of guys. I have my doubts that there are no girls around that would say yes to someone like me. but i'll try to hang in there for a little longer. It's driving me insane!!! oh and for the record i was trying to keep it clean in this post. Do you have any advice? Mr. Pseudomen
Maybe you just don't have enough "boyfriend qualities" yet.
There is a difference from being "funny, strong" and being a guy that attracts women.
Nobody cares if you never had a gf, excpet yourself... I have said elsewhere, that to be cool, hang out with people you believe are cool. Coolness if a "degree" of attitude only. It is a preconception of things only understood by those left behind by it's existence.
You haven't had a gf? The only girl that's going to care is the one you finally tell without crying or seeming to cry about it.
I am sure you know girls. Why are they unapproachable?
Scared?
Fearful?
Nervous?
You said "Even asking a girl to homecoming was hard". That speak volumes about your FEAR of rejection but not of any ability to ASK a girl to go with you.
I hate to be harsh, but buck up or leave the corrall.
Thanks man. That extra advice helps. Not saying asking a girl to homecoming was hard, but finding one that wasn't already taken was. But anyway thanks for the advice. I'll try to keep in this.
Screw the whole world.
All good advice. But here's the thing...what if you are just butt ugly?.
You can be clean, have a good haircut, Be funny, attentive have bags of conidence etc but none of that is going to matter to the women if she doesn't find your face attractive.
I know this. I am the guy with the butt ugly face...No surgery is ever going to make it better.
Ugliness is not a deterrence, lack of self-confidence and style make all the difference. You need to watch this video and start dating all the 10's you want.
http://www.alovelinksplus.com/advice/man-transform
Nice link man.
If he's actually dating/fucking a 10 then I'm impressed.
I tell you no lies.... how else would a guy like that actually get any girl?
Charm, respect for women, respect for himself, and knowing how to please a woman in more than one way.
I am middle aged and have not ever had a gf. Those interested were boring and just did not inspire passion. Those that inspire passion are taken or have been raised to think noone is good enough and then complain about there being no guys. Women are no longer needed in relationships. let them be the only College registrants, take over leadership roles and start dying young like us. I have found just being the best person you can, putting out as much love as possible, being confident and happy is the best. You wait, all your friends will soon be bitching non-stop about their lame lives in slavery where eventually you can't ever escape the nagging and nesting self-centredness. Sex is overrated. Women offer little more.
Wow... talk about bitter!
I bet any woman you dated you BORED to death with complaints of life and love.
Sex is only overrated when you DON'T get any!
I can help... try this site and make yourself into the guy that always has the women, not the complaining little bitch you are now...
http://www.alovelinksplus.com/shopping/download-ad
In a way, I can't even imagine why I bothered to reply to your sad, uninspired claptrap.
I've 17 and I've never had a gf either... I tried trying hard to get a gf, and I've tried going with the flow and nothing seems to work... So I've decided just to wing it and do NOTHING! Best thing ever to do. If you ever heard the song invisible kid by metallica, that's pretty much me.... For me, my problem is I hate myself to no end. Every picture I see of myself I hate, I hate the way I sound, look, think, everything.... I feel really negative inside, but I still try to be possitive, my friends aren't "bad" people so to speak, but they make me feel belittled and like my opinion doen't matter. Even the popular kids at school seem nicer to me. I guess I'm kind of the punching bag of my friends. Anyway, I'd have to say I'm clinically depressed. The only thing that keeps me from sleeping all day are video games and work. My dream now is to be like Metallica and play huge stadium concerts, but that dream is just not reachable.... I'm not good at singing, I can't play guitar(yet).... Idk I'm just going to stop wine a@#ing now :)
Well, learn the guitar... life is just starting for you, find friends with a more positive outlook and you'll fare much better with the women. School does end, then life starts. Don't forget that. RP
PS. Take a look at http://www.gettingagreatgirl.com
idk for me its just something strange, like if life didnt want me to have a girlfriend, i mean im good looking actually i work as a male model, im 18, ive traveled mostly all over the world, i speak 3 languages, im talkative, i get laphs from girls when being funny, as i said no girlfriend but i have had quite a few women to make out with (about 15) and have slept with only one girl but all the girls have said im a fantastic kisser and lover, unfortunatly thoes girls havent been up to my standards a big reason is cuse i live in a country where there arnt alot of hot girls, allthough i have found some which i really have liked and have rejected me with answers like your not my type or i think we are good as friends only even though i know 100% sure im better looking then them and i could get a much better looking girl basted on my looks i know it sounds egosentric but i just want help and im being honest, id say that some reason i could have truble finding one is: im homeschooled so i dont see people my age everyday allthough its not reason enouph since i do have many friends and go to alot of parties and i think the only thing girls could not like about me is i can be a bit needy but thats cuse ive tried to relax and go with the flow and it hasnt helped eather, my firends do have gfs and i dont understand, like the usuall friends i hang out with, one is fat and the other is short as hell and neather of them are dsitinguished or charmingand im completly different i mean as i said im a male model, im talkative and alot less shy then them to approach girls, what is it that girls dont see in me????
Girls don't see someone that is in their class. You're either much too self-centered or you don't try hard enough with the women that are "hot". 18 is a time of self-discovery, and that goes until about 25, so you have a lot of time to have fun, but don't puich the sex thing, maybe that's why your rejection rate is so high.
hmmm thanx for the advice, maybe your right, maybe i should try harder, allthough im sorry, i didnt really understand the thing you said about,dont puich the sex thing, could you pleasee explain further on that?,(i dont really understand the meaning of the word puich, sorry my first language is not english) thanksss!
Hi Nice article..
Indian. Here it is little different(You know). But now it is changing..
Still I want have gf one who loves.
I am short ( 5.3') and little small build.
And next one is about personality, as I have many friends and cool, confident etc.. person.However little reserved.
And about perseverance, I never tried myself..:)... One reason is shyness. other reasons are like my environment/ family/friends are like that.
What do you say?Pseudomen... :)
Hi edd,
Don't make why you want to attract girls about sex. That's a turn-off, big time.
You want a girlfriend, not another friend, that's fine. Be up front about that, not trying to talk and befriend a girl in an effort to "trick her" into liking you more so she'll date you, that rarely works.
Hi Pratap,
Personality if a big plus, obviously, but you have to shift gears when you are attracted to a woman, you want her to understand that you want to date her. Shyness is a disease that goes away when you TALK with women you are interested in. You don't have to be Romeo, just yourself and tr to stand out more. Be more "forward" rather than hanging back. A good place to start is http://www.alovelinksplus.com/advice/why_men_fail_
Hi Pseudomen,
Thank you for your immediate and caring reply!
I have gone through the link and found those 10 points are interesting.I will try to understand those practically.
Thanks once again.:)
Always glad to be helpful!
:-)
Im only 18 but i have never had a girlfriend i don't even know how to kiss!! i feel like a freak
I have been told im good looking, i have a really nice body from gym and karate, very good hygiene in very good health but i cannot speak to girls!! even if i just walk past them i get really nervous
im just like scared of talking to them, i really want a girl and feel like i am missing owt i just wish i could be someone else
You know what?
Every guy I know has pretty well gone through the same things, maybe different ages, but the same feelings of insecurity and nervousness.
This doesn't make you weird or strange, it makes you normal.
And I would put it to good use. Maybe from now on you can approach a girl and say to her "You know, I used to be pretty nervous around women but I am really wanting to talk with you, to get to knwo you better".
thanks for the info but that stuff does not help me. i am 22 and i can not even get a girl to give me the time of day. i like to joke i could not get a girls attention even if i had a hundred dollar bill hanging out of my zipper.
Maybe you think about your zipper too much and all the women can sense your negative, woman-user, vibes.
I'm actually quite nice.
But I can't get any girl because I'm not very confident.
I'm too shy when I see a girl around me.
It's hard to be confident.
If you BELIEVE it's hard to be confident then you've beaten you're self into a corner, haven't you?
You should do some reading: http://www.alovelinksplus.com/advice/double-your-d
I suppose it's easy to state what you need to do to get a girlfriend if you're someone who can do it but you'll never understand what it is like to be someone for whom it is literally impossible to instigate relationships. Even if a girl makes the first move on me or shows an interest I still fuck it up. It's the most damning thing in the world to know that no-one wants you and even when they do STILL not be able to make anything work out. I was brought up Catholic but these days I just believe in God to hate him for making me the way I am
And you believe that you're NOT responsible for your own lack of positive attitude toward women?
Now, who's lying to whom?
And why?
What could I Do to make you have a better outlook on life? NOTHING. If you won't PULL YOURSELF UP then who will?
The TOOLS to date women are valuable but what will YOU do to make it happen?
Get a job... finish school... stop living the LIE that popular media SHOVES down your throat.
Let me give you a little insight to the female mind. We want someone that isn't afraid to make eye contact. If your eyes go straight to a woman's chest it's a major turn off. Look the woman in the eyes when you're talking to don't talk to her chest. That will only get you slapped or make the woman walk away. If you're looking her in the eyes it shows us that you're confident. If you're looking right at the chest then we know you're only looking for sex. If you look a woman in the eyes and can hold her gaze for more than five seconds then you have a chance. Most guys just want sex these days. Start out as friends and go from there. It is better to be friends then wishing you knew the woman.
Yes, it's all about seeing the "woman" not the "womanly attributes" as it were.
Guys, you need to get beyond searching for an FWB partner and find out what it is about yourself that women might like, or what they really don't like, about yourself.
I'm 27 and I've never had a girlfriend. I used to try so hard and then I realized that it looked desperate, so lately I've just been working on my life. I'm getting my college degree next year, I'm going to be a cop soon after, I workout 7 days per week, and I volunteer at schools to help children with homework. I'm just trying to make my life as meaningful as possible, but I still feel like a kid because I can't get a girlfriend. I have no personality; like a machine. I have absolutely no charm or game; I've tried pretending to be funny and cool, but it's too hard to act like something I'm not. I'm not afraid to talk to women, but I just can't think of anything to say at all. I don't know how much longer I can live like this.
I hate to be blunt but maybe you're just going about this dating thing all the wrong way. Read through these comments and see if there isn't an answer here for you, because I am sure there is.
Good luck to you, it seems to me that your life, as it now is, does have some meaning.
I am a short guy, only 5,5 or 5,6 but I am good looking. I am 33, but look younger, have a great sense of humor and have heaps of talent as an artist. Can I get a girl I like to even seem remotely interested in me? nope! All my life it has been this way, when I was 21 I used to console myself by thinking "it's ok, by the time I am in my late 20s early 30s it will be different" But no, it's not. I have never had a serious girlfriend, I had a casual relationship of 1 year duration back in 2004 and last year a pretty latin girl I met when I was traveling south america, but she just used me as a cash machine and was always yelling and screaming at me so I told her to get fucked. And thats it. I don't what I have done or am doing wrong, I try to remain positive on the outside, but on the inside I have pretty much given up. I have developed an anxiety disorder and extreme depression over the last 10 yrs, mainly due to being so lonely all the time. At last I am trying to find professional help for this, as I am starting to hate women, and I don't want to go down that dark path.
It just seems that whatever I try, whatever approach, wherever I go it's the same story. I think maybe I am meant to be alone. Like Chris said, I too am trying to make the most out of my life, but I am getting tired....tired of everything, tired of thinking about it, of living it. I am thinking whatever wrong I have done to anybody I've paid for and then some. And unfortunately we are animals on this planet and I just don't feel any attraction for the ugly or fat girls that show interest in me.
I don't know what to do.
Anyway, I guess I wrote this just to let folks know that they're not alone and also to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening.
I have no doubt that there are many lonely places in the world and you are in one of them. It is good that you are seeking help for the depression you find yourself in. But I have to ask what type of girl are you looking for? A blond bombshell 10? If you set your sights high for women you have to work all that harder to find and keep them. Nothing is impossible, that is the crux of the article. If you seek help for depression do you also seek help for attracting and dating women or do you continue to do that alone and on your own? Rather than joining a woman-haters club, or continue to build anger inside because of rejection and fear of rejection, learn what the secrets are to attraction and build a new you, a new character that attracts women.
"Can't get a girlfriend" is not "Will never get a girlfriend". Start doing some reading: http://www.trydeepinnergame.com
i am basically somewhat skinny guy, just turned 20 years old didn't really want to get into a relationship until i started looking about almost a year ago. i basically wanted to go to college which i'm doing and then during or after look for love. everything else in my life is going good for me, but i just can't seem to find a girlfriend or at least go getting on dates now. well, i've been looking probably 8-9 months talking alot of girls i knew from school or wherever else some in person, others from facebook myspace(but i knew these people before), and anyways my strategy was basically talk to them be friends then eventually ask for their number and ask them out. basically i went after girls that i liked both in personality, and looks (in between average to good). i've basically only been able to go dating with one girl which i liked, but to make a long story short, didn't like her past and just decided to be friends. I'm basically looking for that special someone, but can't seem to be able to just be more then friends with girls. I'm not doing it to impress anyone at all, just want to at least get a date, and go from there in a relationship. after i talk to them for a few weeks maybe every other day, i ask them for a number or ask them on a date and the response i get is pretty much i'm busy, or mostly just kinda ignore it or either say well i have to see then don't call back. can anyone give me any advice on what i'm doing wrong? I try to be nice, and can keep a somewhat good convorsation, but i just think i'm missing something that they just don't want any kind of even dating or love. advise would be appreciated
Too slow... meet a girl, chat her up, get email or number, take on a date... none of this "friends first" crap, it doesn't take a few weeks for a girl to decide to date you, it takes a few moments.
Speed up your pace, you'll do much better.
Hey... Im 15... i've never dated before... Theres this really good looking blonde in my class and i'd like to know how to approach her... I know i shouldn't aim for looks over personality but i cant help it... I'm just attracted to her... Some people might say im too young but thats not the answer i'm looking for... I'm average looking... But even good looking guys havent tried to ask her out so what would be wrong with me trying?..
There is nothing wrong with trying. Often the pretty girls can't get a date because guys are too afraid of rejection... ask her, she might just surprise you!
Hey I just started college and met a nice girl in one of my classes. She gave me her number and she and her roommate are new in town. The first time i texted her...towards the end i said we should do a movie sometime when she's free to get to know each other better...She writes back saying "sure just let me know when". Am i pretty much set? I am also debating whether or not to invite her roommate to come with. She might feel more comfortable that way and if so i think i should bring a friend as a wingman. What do you think?
You are set with her, no only talk real plans with her, not "let's hang out sometime and do something", guy's with definite plans impress the ladies.
As for asking her gf along, do you need an audience? No, don't ask her to tag along.
I don't understand why you would be considering killing yourself because you can't get a girlfriend. Why not kill everyone else? What have YOU done wrong?
That's right... no desperate measures here, just an attitude adjustment. Has everyone stopped reading the original article above?
Canada, you make one fundimental mistake in your hub; women are do men the favour. Truth, we are just as insecure, complex and lacking in slef confidence/esteem as any jock/geek. But we are different when it comes being shallow gold digging hookers. If the nice man from Bombay in your picture wants some 'hot totty in a cold wet tanktop', he should max out his cards and act like an amoral wall street banker. Very soon he will become a Slut Magnet. And that's, I guess, all most guys want to be. Spend spend spend. That's how you get a girl (who is no) friend. If Bombay wants a wife, tell him to marry the village virgin.
Have a nice night.
Francine Smith: While I appreciate your comments you are totally off topic. Sometimes a picture is just a picture. When a guy wants a gilrfriend he has to understand the basics of a dynamic relationship and he needs the tools to lead him on this path of getting a girlfriend. This has little to do with the color of the man's skin in the picture or his culture, unless YOu want a guy to try to buy your affection and love, only to fail miserably in the end.
Good read, but it ignores the reality that women are also as shallow as men. An equally important piece of advice is not to overreach. Don't expect a dime piece, when your own appearance is at or just above a penny.
Not entirely true.
I've seen many men that would be a 4 or 5 dating ten's. These guys have confidence where to go where other men fear to, that is, talking to a beautiful woman. Although looks may be an instant turnoff, positive attitudes and making a woman laugh can work wonders!
Canada, you say "the things that most guys miss out on is the fact that they are not getting dates because of only two things: Personality and Perseverance". You see, I read the article!
I've been poured over by dozens of guys with NO personality. Often at our computer department's christmas party. Agreed, many are persistent, but this because many are sociopaths with no understanding that no means go jump in a volcanic lake you buttugly freak. Sorry. However, you *are* right that persistence does pay, even for the guy who thinks photographing buses is a fun hobby. Insider fact, eventually, most women give it up because, at three on a Tuesday morning, the guy with the missing wedding ring is the only one still putting it our there. Maybe I should move to Canada? Have a nice day.
Maybe you should leave the bar before 3am... and try to have more encounters with men other than the once-a-year Christmas party.
Have you tried being 'nice' to a guy? You know, just be friendly without sexual expectations? Maybe you are just too full of expectations and an over-all fear of rejection of men?
Canada, I'm nice to every guy I meet, even the *holes I work with. That's why I am the go to girl. But not in the way you think. I have immunity from photocopier rage. Anyway boys, at 3AM girl's aint looking for Mister Right, they're desperate for Mister Right Now. Which is a bit of a hint for any guy who's gone beyond speed dating and is looking for a speed relationship. Guy's beware, at 3AM there's a lot of damaged stock on the shelves. Happy hunting ;-)
Very true, damaged, alone and horny... guy's it's not a score at 3am.
hi im buttugly and is this article suitable for yall to answer for 13 years olds(and I go to public school and hear a lot of bad things from queers)
You're 13? Too young to worry about dating, in my opinion.
I've had many girlfriends in my past, but never quite cared for any of them. I only dated them because all the girls I've ever liked turned me down. I tried different approaches, but none seemed to work.
I have personality and perserverance, I'm attractive, I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm a gentleman, I'm caring, I'm fun, I'm a great listener and conversationist, and I'm talented. I'm not at all cocky about any of this, and I rarely ever let people know if I'm feeling gloomy like this. I just can't understand why just one girl can't say yes to me.
I have actually asked a couple girls (who I was rejected by, but became close friends with) what's wrong with me. They told me nothing's wrong with me and they couldn't see why I would have trouble finding someone. So then I asked why they turned me down and they say they don't want a relationship. But, that's a lie; I find every girl I like just lying to me and dating someone else.
Can somebody help me? It seems like I've tried everything. I want a relationship, but I want someone who I like instead of someone who I accept. I'm sure all the girls I like feel the same way (they want to date who they like instead of me). I just can't find a girl who I like that likes me also.
Goid help me.
There is one surmountable problem today, and that is women have a stereotypical image of the man they want-good looks and wealth. I am the exact opposite and no matter how "nice" I've been, treated people with respect, shown empathy and been generous, NONE of these have made the slightest difference.
I am now divorced after a disastrous 5 year marriage where I ended up in debt trying to support my wife and two children on a wage meant for one. I met my ex-wife through a newspaper advert-DO NOT TRY THIS! I must appear very sad as apart from two other brief daliances I've never had any confidence with girls who I've really liked-it has always been too overwhelming to actually strike up a conversation and take things further. EVERY ONE of them wanted a good looking guy, never mind kindness, chavalry or good communication!!!
My age? I am too ashamed to mention it. I am now actually beginning to resent confident people in happy relationships. It has totally destroyed my life and as a result no one has ever shown ME any affection or love whatsoever.
Hi Mark, If ever their was a poster boy for "lack of confidence" you are it. Kindness, good communication and good looks. You need at least two of these three things to be able to have enough confidence to get dates and build great relationships. It's time to take up a home study course: http://man-transformation-dvd.com/
Im 20 n never had a gf. im realy tired of this n this problem is taking over my mind. a few times i wanted to do suicide bt i can't. never. i dont even hav a proper friend that is a female. i just want a good life like a lot of ppl like all my friends. im quite confident but it just never works n i dont know the reason. this is really evil. i realy need help.
im really suffering from depression coz of this. i need to find a way somehow. why do alot of ppl get girlfrends and why the minority like me cant. its really unfair on how this is. its destroyed me jus because of this. its a nightmare and it is in my head everyday.
hey man,
Im 16, no matter how hard i try i cant get a girl. all of my friends has a girl but me. i feel lonely. i used to be huge i lost weight got my ears pierced and done all these things... but i never took a chance to think, why am i doing this? is it for me or for the girls...now my only question is who am i?...am an imposter?...i turned my self into a diffrent person but i yet cant find a girl.
You can only work on yourself. Some good dating adcive is what you need, and maybe more help than that too. Talk with a teacher, friends, a trusted family member, someone soon.
Im 20 and never had a gf. im realy tired of this. I dont know how to get a gf. i dont even hav a proper friend that is a female. wen i approach women they r mostly not interested or dont like me. i dont know why its like this. most ppl has and can get a gf bt i cant. i dont get why i cant. its reallly depressing. its destroyin me jus because of this. its a nightmare and it is in my head everyday. its very unfair tht most ppl can get it n the minority like me cant. i need som help on advice man. wat on earth is goin on.
Okay guys when everything fails there's another option and it works for me all the time. If you're like me and hardly go out just to work and back home then you might want to go on myspace - you guys heard of myspace.com before, right Okay, now add whole bunch of girls close to your zip code one of all of those you added has to talk to you! By the time you know it you'll be exchanging numbers... texting? Try it. Hehe. I work at McDonald's (It's sucks I know) and lots of girls there' have myspace even the managers. Just ask them straight "Hey you have myspace?" just don't go crazy asking everyone that right away... lol
Having your co-workers on myspace is a big plus, you can now think about what you're going to say before you type it any time. I'm skinny and I talk very little, but when it comes to girls it's a different story. They say I'm different than many guys so that's a big plus for me.
Oh and I just turned 24 and I kind of have a girlfriend, she doesn't want to go away! :)
Dating is impossible for someone who is ugly unless they lower their standards & date someone equally or more ugly than they are...that's basic math. If you're a 4 on a scale of 1-10 you cannot possibly hope to ever get a girl that's an 8 or 7. You might be able to get a 6, maybe, but you will need additonal factors in your favor (money, social status, type of job). Personality cannot makeup for being unattractive. The only possible ways to get a g/f while being unattractive is if you have a giant tubesnake in your pants or if you have tons of money. In order to change ugly you need hundreds of thousands if not several millions of dollars. Surgery, fashion coaches, dating coaches, stylists, follow-up surgery....it really adds up to more than a regular person can afford or will ever make in their lives. It isn't a one time $19.95 procedure then your good-to-go. Then on top of that when you have a g/f it's a never ending abyss of spending money on her.
I am unattractive but cannot see the point to pursue an unattractive girl. I haven't been on a date or in a relationship in 9 years & now I'm almost 38y/o and will never get those years back. Even if I got a g/f any time soon I don't see how it could make up for too many years of not having one. Having been so long without a g/f I have absolutley no confidence to approach someone for a date nevermind the fact that I'm unattractive. On top of that is the depression and dispair I feel being so lonely & in a hopeless situation. I'm stuck with the 3 fatal flaws....unattractive, lack of confidence, & lack of dating experience. I'm so hopeless when it comes to women not even Hugh Heffner could fix me up with one. The only woman I could go out with would be one that couldn't say no to a date with me....like a corpse. LOL
If you ain't got a girl, get rich! 'Nuff said.
If you're ugly or overweight, get plastic surgery!
Snake on the money kidda.
Hi
First of all, thank you very much for the article.
I have never been in a relationship before. I tried many times and everytime i failed i blamed myself for being short (5 ft 6) ........ Ugly...... etc
Sometimes i just think why is the world so unfair..... why somebody could get as much girls as they wan. I couldnt even get the one i wan.
I am a funny guy... most of the ppl say that.
This month i met this girl i really liked. I tried to talk to her but the negative thoughts always come up...... ( i am not gd enough to approach her). She said hi to me the other day but i was so nervous that we end within 2 mins. Afterwards, i blamed myself for being such a coward.
I am quite a sporty guy as well but......... i just dun understand why can i get a girl....
Many Thanks
Marco
Check it..get a Myspace & hit up them bitties..
simple as that...
Bug Mee says:
2 years ago
well put.