In todays Society we have become reluctant to show physical affection, even within our own family dynamics. Partially due to the hectic lifestyles we live, the fact that we are more and more made up of blended or one parent families and partially due to the many sexual predators that appear to crawl out of the woodwork.

It is fair to state that our Nation and Families are largely starved for affection and that hugs between Kids and Parent have become a rarity. This poses a great problem, since hugs make us feel loved and wanted and with that give us the feeling of being safe.

Take the newborn baby for instance, even fed and with a clean diaper they often don't stop screaming until they are safely wrapped into the embrace of his or her Mom or Dad. There cuddled near the Parents Body the infant feels safe and becomes quickly at ease.

Allow me to point out a simple but often overlooked fact. For 9 month we are carried in the soft warm womb of our Mother, with her heartbeat to keep us company. It is that heartbeat which is the first impression we received of our Mom. As soon as we are born, cleaned and wrapped safely into a warm blanket we are given into the Arms of our Parents. We are essentially hugged to them and with that start a strong bonding experience. For that reason, Babies who are born and are destined to be given up for adoption, will not even be given over to the birth giver.

We are programmed as Infants to recognize the scent of our Family Members. Have you ever noticed that Babies react often like small animals when confronted with different individuals? If picked up by a stranger, often that little mouth starts quivering. They know that they are not in the correct Arms, therefore not feeling safe.

Let us step a few years ahead in our developmental stages to the Toddler. As the Child learns to walk, it is your Arms that catch the child up when it tumbles and falls. It is the Mother's or Father's Arms it tries to reach for a hug. If the Kid falls we pick them up and comfort them with kisses and hugs. Again, the feeling of being loved makes us feel safe. While the Toddler is in the Arms of the Caregiver, nothing can hurt him or her.

A few years further and we come to the School Age. This is where society seems to dictate that we start to let go a little. Hugs and Kisses are becoming less at this young age already. What a shame. It is at this tender Age when the children are confronted for the first time with a much wider and bigger World in which they have to learn to fight for them-selves. They learn to put on a mask for their peers and are now much more perceptible to outside influences. They are constantly bombarded by the mass hysterias on the news and our own very real fears for their welfare. Here is where they really need our safe affection the most and yet we are already starting to withdraw it from them. Teaching them to become emotionally unavailable when things get tough.

Due to the bad Apples we read about, Step-parents often find them-selves looked upon with suspicion when showing physical affection. Dads and Sons are both uncomfortable with hugging each other. It is no longer cool to be hugged by your Parents as you grow older. Who made those Rules?

There is nothing wrong with a Hug and a Kiss on the Cheek, matter of fact it is necessary to stay connected. Think about your-self. How many of us want nothing more then to run into the Arms of a loved one when we are hurting. We want to put our head on the Shoulder of someone we trust to keep us safe when we are afraid or lonely. Being held close gives us comfort, warmth and makes us feel worthy of another humans regard.

If we, as adults feel that way, how much stronger must the need be for a Child.

Let me address the female gender here for a second. It is a fact that daughters that grow up in a loving and affectionate household are less likely to run to the first boy and confuse sexual attention with love and affection. By knowing the type of physical affection that is appropriate in a household between loving family members, they do not get as tempted to try to fill the emptiness inside. Their Barrel of Love is full already from safe and correct love, without having to find ways to fill it up and make them-selves feel wanted.

There are hugs and there are hugs. Of course as the Child gets older the way you may hug them will have to change. I would not hug my teenage son full frontal any longer, but will embrace him slightly off to the side. Some goes for my husband (step dad) and my teenage daughter. Kisses are no longer on the mouth as you may have done with your little child, but on the cheek. Yes, as they get older they are fully aware of the physical changes in them-selves and others, but that does not mean you should treat it like the plague. Hugs may have to become shorter, but they should always be available. Teach your children what is appropriate and what isn't. At this point your child should already have been told which areas of the body are not to be touched by anybody other then them-selves until they become Adults and are willing to share that with another Adult. You should not have to fear that anything undue is happening, if you are open about touching and kissing. Your kids should never have to worry about anything like that in their own family and be secure in your affection. If a child knows what a correct touch feels like, it is better equipped to know the difference between a parental hug and a forbidden touch.

A good night hug and kiss at any age is a great non verbal way of saying I love you. It gives you the feeling that everything is ok and that no matter what may happen you are in it together. Giving your Child a hug goodbye before either of you leave the house and a hug hello as you return, keeps you connected during your absence. In my house, my daughter (16) and I are never fully at home until we have hugged each other. Only then are we sure the other is ok and safe.

Don't ever punish your child by withdrawing your affection from them, this could be the worst thing you could ever teach them to do. Even at my angriest, I remember to hug my child and let her know that I still love her. I may not approve of what she just did, I may be angry, but my hug assures her that I still love her and she is wanted by me.

Remember that as they become Parents them-selves they will copy many of the things you used to do.

If you know a person that is very uncomfortable with open displays of affection, I will show you a person that has grown up in a non physical household.

In conclusion I want to urge you to hug your children as often as possible. Let them know that you love them, that they are wanted and that showing physical affection is a beautiful and natural part of being a human being. You as the Parent are responsible to teach your children the right way of being touched and what it feels like to be safe and wanted.