5 Ways To Keep Your Wife Happy

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By byee


The international symbol for marriage =P
The international symbol for marriage =P

After the honeymoon is over...

At our wedding, my husband's best friend (the best man) made the toast. During his speech he said, "I work at a hospital and get to meet all kinds of people. One of the things that I've learned from older men when it has to do with marriage is this: 'If your wife's not happy, then NOBODY'S happy.'" Everyone laughed, but every generalization or stereotype has some truth in it, isn't there?

Marriage is definitely challenging and takes a lot of consistent effort, compromise, patience, and considering one another's feelings. Complicated as women are, there are 5 things a husband can remember to keep his wife smiling:

1) Eat dinner together everyday.

With the average husband and wife both having to work full-time, sitting down to have dinner together is probably one of the most important things you can do. And by sitting down for dinner--I mean it! No eating in front of the TV--sit down properly at the table and talk to each other about how your day went. This is a good habit to establish, as studies have shown that families who have dinner together are less likely to have children who get into trouble. And while you're at it, why not take it a step further? Take turns cooking for each other. Ask your wife if there is a particular recipe she'd like to try. Set the table nicely and ask her what she'd like to drink with her meal. She'll do the same for you, and you'll both enjoy it.

2) Keep the romance alive with creative little things.

A sweet note hidden in her purse, a small gift, a quick e-mail or phone call telling her you love her and miss her: all these things can still bring the butterflies in her tummy. How about sending her flowers "just because"? Last week my husband was on business travel, but I got a surprise gift from him every day that he was gone. Each day, he would send me an e-mail with a photo clue of where a gift was hidden. The photos were taken at weird angles so I really had to figure out which part of the house to look in! Each little gift (coffee, iTunes gift card, a book) came with a cute card and sweet words. =) He also told me he was coming home a day later than he actually was, so imagine my surprise when he unexpectedly walked through the door! I couldn't stop smiling the whole week.

3) Learn to communicate well.

The number one source of conflict is lack of or mis-communication! Make an effort to read up on communication skills. If you have a problem listening, try ACTIVE listening, where you repeat back what she just said to you so it helps you absorb the information. If you have a hard time verbalizing what's on your mind, take a minute to think of what to say, or use analogies to better explain your thoughts. When your woman vents about her feelings, just let her--don't judge or lecture her about what to do with whatever it is she's complaining about. Unless she asks specifically for your advice, really, she just needs you to be there to help her process her emotions. Finally, no relationship will work without honesty. As a married couple, there should be complete trust and you should be able to say what you are thinking candidly.

4) Practice thinking for two.

Before you were married, you probably spent a good part of your life thinking just for yourself. Marriage is a union, therefore every decision you make affects her. If you're coming home late, call to let her know so she's not at home worrying where you are. Don't spend money on anything significantly pricey without consulting her first. If you get invited to go somewhere, or want to have friends over to watch the game, check with her first! Also, think of how you feel when you're around your in-laws; chances are she probably gets a bit nervous or self-conscious when she's around your family (especially your mother!), so be considerate to your wife whenever they're around.

Lastly...

5) Never, ever take her for granted.

Not being appreciated is probably one of the worst feelings one can have in a relationship. When you love someone, you go far and beyond to do things for them, and it really sucks when that person is selfish and doesn't say "thank you" or return the favor. A relationship consists of a lot of give-and-take, and there should be times when you reflect on all the things your wife does for you and your life together. My husband and I make it a point to thank each other every time we complete chores or remember to consider each other's feelings before deciding on something. I really love it when he tells me he loves me, he's happy he married me, and that I'm the "best wife in the whole world"! Compromise has a lot to do with the give-and-take, too. I support him on his interests and hobbies, and he appreciates that and returns the favor when I want us to do something that I like.

Obviously marriage can be quite a complicated thing. There will ups and downs, good times and difficult times. Just like any other investment, how much you put into it will determine what you will get out of it. Since marriage is a two-way street, be sure to share these tips with your wife as well!

Readers' Poll

Which do you think is the most difficult/challenging stage of marriage?

  • First 2 years
  • While raising children
  • After the kids have moved out and gone
See results without voting

Comments

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Write On! profile image

Write On!  says:
16 months ago

Great tips and advice for keeping love alive over the long-haul.

Write on!

Rachael  says:
16 months ago

This should be advice directed at both halves of the couple.

If both people in the relationship actively try to make life nicer for the other person, they will most likely still be madly in love on their 50th wedding anniversary :)

Airsoft Gear  says:
16 months ago

Your best man was right on....if she's not happy, your not going to be happy. It takes a smart man to realize that. You forgot one. Make sure you do things apart too. my wife and I each take a seperate 3-4 day vacation every year. Helps a lot. You get to do things your spouse doesn't care to.

byee profile image

byee  says:
16 months ago

Thanks for the comments! My husband's retaliation comment is this: "If the King isn't happy, the kingdom's not happy. If the Queen isn't happy, the kingdom still runs!" LOL...

Hub-Ninja profile image

Hub-Ninja  says:
16 months ago

great advice :)

guidebaba profile image

guidebaba  says:
16 months ago

Nice Tips andf Advice. Thank you for sharing.

Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal  says:
16 months ago

In India, it would probably be: If the King isn't happy, the kingdom's not happy....it's the Queen's job to keep her King happy so she better be happy doing just that!!!!! LOL...... truth be told, it seems to work quite well!!

hopefully profile image

hopefully  says:
16 months ago

Great advice! I agree it goes both ways, especially these days. Also important to remember these things when you have kids. We try to do a date night, just the two of us. That's a great opportunity to talk without the kids being the centre of attention!

Love this hub, well done.

Hope

Chineze profile image

Chineze  says:
16 months ago

very practical, very true. whoever practices these five tips will not have any problem at all. I am a woman so I know that when I cook--especially when I take out time to make that delicious meal I want you(my man) to eat it with a lot of uhmms and aaahs and 'where did you learn to cook like this?'. And when I talk or whine about that dress not fitting perfectly I don't want to hear 'Then you shouldn't have bought it' I want to hear 'If you have it held here by the tailor it'll fit perfectly. It's a wonderful dress just needs a little mending.' And when I ask ' How was work' Believe me, I don't want to hear 'Fine' start yamming and moving that jaw until I place the meal on the table. Is that asking for too much? I don't think so.:-) And one more thing sometimes it isn't sex i want when I hold you I just want to cuddle--only cuddle. Just speaking for some women. Thanks.

freddiecox profile image

freddiecox  says:
16 months ago

Great advice. But where's the Hub on how to keep your husband happy. Today women are busier than ever--roles get reversed.

byee profile image

byee  says:
16 months ago

Hey hey...I was answering a request that specifically asked "How to keep your wife happy"....A guy should write the other side!!!

patnamohan profile image

patnamohan  says:
16 months ago

My wife is always happy.....LOL..

morrisonspeaks profile image

morrisonspeaks  says:
16 months ago

great advice! both must also give and take.

Ananta65 profile image

Ananta65  says:
16 months ago

"Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way; the other, to let her have it."  Lyndon B. Johnson

Anna  says:
16 months ago

Good advice I supposed= but realistically who is going to continue hiding presents after being married for several years? I don't mean to sound pessimistic but I really haven't observed this happening.

byee profile image

byee  says:
16 months ago

Anna: Sounds like you need to show this Hub to your husband!

Lazur profile image

Lazur  says:
16 months ago

Not being appreciated is probably one of the worst feelings one can have in a relationship; that is oh so true.:)

Good hub:)

mattferry profile image

mattferry  says:
16 months ago

Great tips. I certainly agree although how you do these things depends on your style. Put in a unique touch.

Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney  says:
16 months ago

Great advice, always spend that extra effort to go the extra yard to make each other happy.

The easiest ways is to make her hyappy, and schedule each and every moment caring for her.

paranoid86 profile image

paranoid86  says:
16 months ago

Nice tips and advice.

http://hubpages.com/author/paranoid86/latest/?rss

hot dorkage profile image

hot dorkage  says:
16 months ago

Playing guessing games is a real romance killer and it goes both ways.

Everything here is true. Except the little pressies. I don't care about that. And after the kids are gone is the hardest because the sex isn't a given in the older ones especially for the women. Sex is a much better fixall during your breeding phase then after it is over. At that point there better be something else there.

JerseyGirl profile image

JerseyGirl  says:
16 months ago

Good advice here..... Can I print this out and let my hubbie read it? Thanks much.

byee profile image

byee  says:
16 months ago

JerseyGirl: of course! Thanks for visiting.

AndyBaker profile image

AndyBaker  says:
16 months ago

Great advice - many thanks.

efeglo profile image

efeglo  says:
16 months ago

Ofcourse thats how to build a sucessful home, and when one person fail, please try to keep the fire burning so both of you do not fall, cause you started the journey together and you must fight to get to the end of the road.

mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003  says:
16 months ago

Great advice and great Hub. I am lucky, my Husband is one of the romantics who emails or phones me several times a day or more and constantly wants to cuddle me.

BizzyMuse profile image

BizzyMuse  says:
15 months ago

I loved this hub! You outlined great tips that are often times overlooked. I especially liked #1: eating dinner together every day. It's so easy to get so caught up in the business of everyday life, that couples forget the most basic things. Sharing and communicating strengthen the bond. I also find that taking the extra 2 minutes to dim the lights and light a few candles, can create a warm and inviting environment. Thank you for sharing.

GuruBurt  says:
15 months ago

As one who did many of those things and the relationship still failed I can say that none of that will work if your partner is always supicious of your motives.  If they are not receptive the relationship is doomed.

In my current relationship it is completely different and it is great.  We do spend a lot of time together whenever we can, our blended family is also happy with us, for us and with each other.  We are very lucky and blessed.

I am still a little sad that my marriage was't all I had hoped for and that I was unable to make my wife happy but that's the way life works sometimes and I don't take it personally.  Nor do I blame her, it just didn't work.

Great post, those things do work if you both want them to.

1stevedw profile image

1stevedw  says:
15 months ago

Great hub. I always wonder: why don't we learn to communicate at school?

It's an essential skill in life.

Warm regards from Belgium,

Steve

George Nigeria  says:
13 months ago

This is just wonderful cos a lot of couples neglect most of them. Nice one !

My wife feels so great each time I do her personal laundries (not undies).

Nice tips

brayan  says:
12 months ago

thanks alot about that go on

livelovecoffee profile image

livelovecoffee  says:
11 months ago

I could not agree more with your first point - eating dinner together. I find is so hard to understand why people cannot do without television (although I am a little guilty) it is so nice to not have that noise. Eating dinner together ends up leading to cooking together at my house. What you find is that the more you get involved with things other than television the more refreshed you end up feeling. You start accomplishing things you've been meaning to do. Working out, music (if you play), chores, house work, errands and even just time with your companion. I can't really get past the first one since it leads to so many other things. GREAT HUB!

adelacuesta profile image

adelacuesta  says:
11 months ago

"takes a lot of consistent effort"

Another option on the poll is -'while you're in it!' Ha ha ha

Nice Hub! Thanks

Heartnote profile image

Heartnote  says:
11 months ago

This was a fun article. I paticularly like Number 2 on the list. It the little things that mean a lot (at least to me), that make me feel appriciated.

Sarah Love profile image

Sarah Love  says:
10 months ago

I'm going to have my husband read this when he gets home :)

jjrubio  says:
10 months ago

wonderful hub!

muhammad zahid nissim  says:
4 months ago

i love my wife very much but after the birth of my first child our relations are becoming bitter, it is a great source of saddness for me. pray for me and for my wife and child.

zahid nissim

0923338944907

Muhammad Nomaan Asim  says:
3 months ago

I have no wife but iwould say to live with peace and make ur wife happier as possible. AND nothing with advertisement of ur HOUSEHOLD Affairs.OK GOOD BYE---WISH U BEST OF LUCK!

GLORY  says:
2 months ago

I think giving independence to wife is necessary to keep her happy.Never impose anything on her.Husband's love,respect and trust can keep wife happy forever.

http://hubpages.com/_2un9stbd9f4q1/hub/Wife-How-to

Chris  says:
2 weeks ago

I like the 5 steps, but I feel like no matter what I do, when her mood swings, all hell breaks loose! So I guess the five steps would be a'ight if she can get on medication! Oh! FYI I didn't realize she was crazy til I married her. When we were dating, she stayed on her best behavior.

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