Will I Find True Love in My Life's Purpose - I asked Eckhart Tolle, Part 5

Discover The Secrets To Finding Your Soul Mate

I am in an intensive 4-month internet marketing program. Last night I discovered that I had direct access to the faculty that night. I had so many specific questions. I’ve done a lot of stuff “not exactly right” and had to redo a ton of it. Now, I could get direction and do it right the first time. I was excited. I made my list of questions and called in at 5 minutes before the call was supposed to start, only to find out that I needed another code.

I was devastated. I went into a tailspin – spiraling out of control. “Was this a sign” from the Universe telling me that I’m not doing my heart’s desire, that I’m not cut out for being a successful internet marketer. Was it telling me that my only role here is that of a frustrated internet marketer who continues to line the pockets of those who teach other wanna-be’s.

I blamed the program.

Let me step back, before I grasped at the idea of the Universe talking to me, I blamed the program. I had read the directions; they said nothing about needing a code. How incompetent of them. By this inexcusable omission, they have ruined my opportunity to get expert direction.

I watched a TV show and went to bed posing the question to the Universe “Please, show me what to do in the gentlest way possible a sign that even I can understand. Well, I woke up a little too early to go to coffee, so I decided to boot up my computer. I pushed the tower’s ON button – whirl and blue light.

Then I pushed the monitor’s ON button...

The ON button lit up but nothing appeared on the screen. Was this my sign?

I checked the cables – all good. I turned it ON/OFF/ON. Still a dark, blank screen! I re-checked the cables. This MUST be the sign from the Universe. Even I couldn’t miss this one. A voice in the back of my head said “Try turning the tower OFF and ON one more time. Silence… whirl, whirl… Psssss… the monitor came on and started scrolling through its setup procedure.

Oh great! I thought “was the sign” stop or keep-going but you will have to figure things out as you go?

I needed coffee!

I sipped coffee as I pulled out my copy of A New Earth and thought ‘what would Eckhart Tolle say to me? Hoping that this would shed some clarity on my confusion. I asked this question ‘Should I stop internet marketing? I asked my question, fanned the pages, and open the book to the page that felt right.

Eckhart’s answer…

Here’s the first sentence I read:

"The wise man’s ‘maybe’ signifies a refusal to judge anything that happens. Instead of judging what is, he accepts it and so enters into conscious alignment with the higher order. He knows that often it is impossible for the mind to understand what place or purpose a seemingly random event has in the tapestry of the whole."

Well, I can not write the expletives that went through me mind as I read this. I just want an answer to my question. Do I keep going or not. ARG!!!!

Tolle goes on to tell about J. Krishnamurti’s secret to life:

"I don’t mind what happens…"

Tolle explains this to mean “not to label it mentally as good or bad, but to let it be.”

Is the answer from the Universe - I shouldn’t mind that I missed the opportunity? I should just go on, not be mad at the situation, life, the program?

There is a saying “Good… Bad… Who knows?”

My question is show me a sign. Another way to pose that question is to ask “Is it time to stop trying to be an internet marketer? From inside my skin, I can totally agree with Tolle it is impossible for my mind to understand what possible purpose missing that phone call has in the tapestry of my internet marketing life. On this point, I am clueless. And, I will admit, my ego hates to be clueless.

This morning I am trying to ‘not mind’ that I missed that call, trying to ‘not mind’ that I’m not sure that I am on the right track with my life, trying to ‘not mind’ that I’m spending money and not making money, trying to ‘not mind’ feeling inept, a failure, a klutz, a fool, etc.

The other thing I am trying to do is not always play the role of ‘know-it-all’ or the go to Coach for all your problems, or the older sibling that is more experienced. Today, I’m just speaking from my heart, sharing and trusting the Universe that you will not respect me and my abilities less for being human and having feelings of doubt, despair, and indecision.

Everything. Before you find true love in the world, you have to first find that love within yourself for each dimension of yourself. I found my true love in the world 9 years ago (our 9th anniversary is May 1). But, I keep needing to find and love different parts of me.