Will Your Relationship Go Down Like The Titanic?

If you are contemplating marrying your partner, make sure that you are

aware of warning signs that spell potential trouble for a relationship.

Getting married is a big step and choosing the wrong partner is a recipe for

disaster!

Warning Signs of a Controlling Relationship

1. If your friends and relatives have doubts about your partner, you should sit up and take notice. What is it that they don't like? Often, others have a clearer view because they aren't personally involved.

2. Conversely, how does your partner view your friends and relatives? If he or she always finds reasons to avoid them, tries to turn you against them, or discourages you from spending time with them, this is a bright red flag.

3. And speaking of friends. . . does your partner actually have any? Interestingly enough, people who have serious character flaws often don't have many friends.

4. How is your partner's relationship with family members? How he or she treats family is an indicator of how you will be treated down the road.

5. What does your partner say about people in general? Is his or her view accepting and kind or is it critical and harsh? If views of others are belittling, how long do you think it will be until it spreads to you?

6. How do you feel when you are with your partner? Do you feel pressured, drained, or defensive? If you do, you need to take a look at the behavior that is making you feel this way.

7. Does your partner have problems with people in the workplace? While an occasional difficulty can be normal, is there a pattern? More telling, is it always the other person's fault?

8. Does your partner have a chaotic job history? The past may step on the heels of the present and may be an indicator of what you might have to live with in the future.

9. Has your partner been subject to disciplinary measures, either at work or when part of a church or a social group?

10. How does your partner handle money matters? As the relationship has progressed have you discovered outstanding debts or decisions that reveal poor financial judgement?

11. What's your partner's self-view? Is it self-inflated or just the opposite? You may want to reconsider spending the rest of your life with someone who thinks he or she can do no wrong or believes he or she can't do anything right.

12. Does your partner have a history of depressive episodes and claims that you are the cure? Be wary. Many times, depressive thinking comes from within. Most likely, you will be powerless to change another's thinking patterns or internal chemistry.

13. Do you get the blame when things go wrong? Do you get snapped at? Are emotional outbursts and shows of temper attributed to something you did? Have you heard: "I wouldn't have done this if you just hadn't . . . "

14. How does your partner treat animals, children, and the elderly?

15. Does your partner really listen to you most of the time or do you have to compete with the television or other minor distractions?

16. Does your partner minimize your concerns?

17. Does he or she make promises that never materialize?

18. When you call your partner to account, does he or she always have a rational for inappropriate behavior? Manipulative people can justify any course. Watch out for this, no matter how convincing it may sound.

19. How does your partner react when under pressure? Does the lid blow sky high or does a melt-down occur?

20. "My way or the highway." Your partner could be sending these signals by refusing to cooperate or commandeering most of the decisions rather than offering to compromise and act as a team player.

If your relationship is dotted with these red flags, it's time to make a serious appraisal of the quality of the so-called partnership. The need for love and companionship does not justify entering into a controlling relationship that will likely meet the same fate as Titanic.

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