This page has attracted a lot of attention. Not a lot has been posted on the comments but many have contacted me privately to express their views.

We are approaching the wedding season and thousands of couples will be getting married later this year. But will your current girlfriend make a good wife for you? I am not against women in fact I love you, but I am a therapist in Warwickshire who deals every week with husbands who are having relationship problems because they thought that their partner was good for them or did they? Did they think? Well no they did not and they have ended up with miserable unfulfilled sex less marriages that they are desperate to get out of.

The dreams they had of a life long intimate intense relationship with a home and wonderful children has dissolved what the hell happened?

It usually begins because they fail to be realistic about the qualities that they will need in a partner. They have bought in to the myth about love and marriage and when the madness of love hits all realities disappear. This will cost you dear if you fail to be aware of the reality. Just look at the divorce rates and ask your friends if they are happily married or if they are with someone who they are happy with.

Read and study and find out what it is really like to be married for many years the answers that they give might surprise you, ask people about the problems and challenges that they face in the real world. Find out what the situation is really like. The compromises the lack of control. I did say control in a partnership with someone else you only have a 50% say.

If you want kids then you must really look at your possible future carefully and discover what life with children is like, ask parents if they are contented with kids. The reality of raising children is different from the myths you may have been lead to believe. The average woman loses 700 hours of sleep in the first year with the child. You will also lose many hours. Your partner will not be the same person after child birth. Are you OK with surprises and how do you behave after months of sleep depravation? How does she? find out now.

Now that you have a more realistic idea of what it is like. Do you have the qualities and skills to survive? You will need mental and emotional skills to survive and grow in a marriage you will have to change. Taking an honest look at what you want and where you are emotionally it will pay off later. Are you emotionally mature? If not become it.

She may be the most wonderful lady on the planet and great fun to be with. But are these qualities what you want in a wife? Does she even know what a wife is or does?

Many women these days also have an unrealistic view of what it means to be a wife. You should talk with her so that you are aware of what she believes her role in this relationship will be. Many men report to me that their ladies changes once they marred them it is not uncommon for a woman to say “ but now we are married” Find out what she believes will change.

Take an honest look at your girlfriend.

This is some one who you will be living with, sharing money and lifestyle with and may be spending your joint income.

Is she good with money? or does she each month have her nails, hair, bikini wax, girls nights out, gym membership, takeaways, you get the idea. because when you marry her who will pay for all this? Not a problem if you are both hight income but if you are not will she be happy to give up these things.? Will you be happy for her not to be this stunning sex goddess you fell in love with?

Be honest now, I wanted to say be selfish now but that might be misunderstood.

It is you life and future happiness we are talking about so it is very important to look at this deal you are being offered as carefully as any business deal. But it is not a business deal you thought. Ask any man who had a wife about the divorce and then you will discover that love has nothing to do with it. It will be business and very expensive. If you have children expect to lose your home and half of your income for the next few years. You may also end up never seeing your kids.

Don’t take my word for it, search the internet for the kind of advice women are giving each other about how to conduct a divorce also take a look at sites from men who are in this situation, it will surprise you.

You are looking for qualities in a wife that will make you happy. Wifely qualities not girlfriend qualities. If you can afford a cook, cleaner, nanny and extra help not a problem. If not then consider what makes a good wife. These habits are probably the most important single factor in the success of the marriage.

I trust that this has got you thinking about the kind of woman that will make a good wife. You owe it to your self and the lady to think carefully about what you want and to discover and learn as much about women as possible this will allow you to increase your chances and hers of having a wonderful life together.