Window Candle - A Way to Show Your Love, Loyalty, and Remembrance

When I saw this topic I had to blink to hold the tears back and then I realized as I do so frequently that tears are okay. Tears are only Water and Water is part of the Universe as is Spirit, Fire, Earth, and Air. I let the tears flow and now I can type.

10 days from now will be the 14th anniversary of the day that my son Vince stopped walking the earth in his form. He was 23 years old. He was full of life. He was with 2 out of 3 of his best friends. Donny decided to go out with his girlfriend that night. Vince, Brian, and Dave were all at Brian's apartment cooking on a small grill. Dave was getting married the following weekend. It was a sweltering hot evening. The 3 of them got into Dave's car. They went cruising out a country road, then the cruising turned to speeding. We were informed by the newspaper articles that the car was probably doing well over 100 when it went off the road and wedged itself between 2 trees. All three young men had their lives cut short.

I don't tell you this for sympathy; but because the topic so relates to it. Every night as I would climb the stairs to go to bed I would look out the window at the upstairs landing toward the direction of Brian's apartment - it was only 6 blocks up from my house. I would silently blow a kiss to Vince.

The first Christmas afterward was not a good time for me. I was in a horrid depression. Although I still had adult children and I also had grandchildren I could not "get over it" or "snap out of it" as some people suggested I do.

Vince and his three friends had always been the impetus for our holiday decorations. They would start asking when they could start decorating the day after Thanksgiving. I would put them off for as long as possible. Finally, I would come home from work one evening only to find the four of them on the floor along with opened boxes, ornaments in every room, and strings of lights that were tangled and strewn all over the floors. The dreaded time had come! This year was different. They were not there to move me into doing the decorating. In all honesty, I can't even remember putting up a tree but I'm certain that we did.

The only thing that I can remember stands out very vividly in my mind. It was unpacking all of the battery operated window candles. As I went to the window in the upstairs landing I just knew that this was a healing gesture for me. I knew that this was something that I would do forever. Every evening at dusk I would walk up the stairs and turn on the candle and have a moment with my son. In the morning as I turned it off I would have yet another one. We have since moved and no longer have stairs, but we still have a window and a candle that burns.

I recommend this for not only those who have lost someone to death; but also those who have children, siblings, etc., serving in the Armed Forces, or for any reason that you are missing someone. Just this one simple act is a way to "connect" at the heartstrings.