As I sat in front of my computer, hiding in the dark from all of those little kiddies out to get their Halloween candy, which I refused to give them, I was knee-deep in trying to find more protections for my computer.

My main problem was that I was using Windows ME. Okay, okay, I know, I can just hear all of you computer geeks out there screaming at me, "Why in the world would you want to hold onto Windows ME!"

My answer: "Because I cannot afford to buy a new computer, and I cannot upgrade because my printer and a host of other programs wouldn't work on the computer anymore. It would cost too much to go out and buy programs and a new printer."

After my recent fiasco wherein my photos, wallpaper and desktop all suddenly looked like a washed out cauliflower, I was feeling more paranoid than usual. System Restore had fixed it, but I still didn't know how it had happened in the first place. Was it hackers, spyware, viruses, or a problem with Windows ME?

It seemed like my computer was sort of shaky from the shocks. It was doing more freeze-ups than usual and acting strange. So, I figured I should try once again to find an effective, free, spyware checker program that would work well with Windows ME. Good luck, right? This was probably like searching for a needle in a haystack, but I just had to attempt it.

After I got that idea, then I happened to read an online article that said if you still use Win 98 or Win ME, then you're in trouble because your computer won't be protected at all. That's because none of the spyware programs, virus programs or firewalls support Windows ME anymore. I needed to hear that like I needed a hole in the head. 

However, I did still have the Avast virus checker program, which usually works exceedingly well with Windows ME. (It obviously failed to prevent the recent crash, though). Anyway, I figured if this article was wrong about there being no virus checkers for Windows ME, then it could have been wrong about there being no spyware or firewall programs for Windows ME.

So, I proceeded to start searching the net for various computer protection programs that would work with my operating system.

I didn't want to use AdAware again, as it seemed to catch just the little cookies from my web surfing, and I always suspected that the bigger bad guys were still lurking around the corner somewhere trying to break into my computer. Of course, it could have been that I really didn't have any major spyware on my computer and that AdAware was a perfectly good program.

In the past, I had tried various other spyware programs, but I wasn't quite satisfied with any of them and so I got rid of them. One was too detail-oriented and took hours to do just a simple scan. I forget which one that was. Another one seemed to conflict with some other program, and so I had to get rid of it, too. I tell you, it's always something!

Halloween seemed to be a good time to work on this stuff, since I needed to defend myself and my computer against the dark forces, right? I wouldn't want to be a wimp! I'm a spiritual warrior! (Is this stuff scary, or what?! They're all out to get me!).

Ookaay.....let's not get too paranoid here.

I suddenly began having these creepy thoughts about big, lurking bad virus goblins running around in my computer. Where are they? They are always hiding, invisible to us humans. I wish they'd appear so that I could deal with them face-to-face! Uggh. It's enough to create nightmares. Worse than big black roaches who come out at night, worse than tarantulas and black widow spiders. Those you can kill, or avoid somehow; but dark viruses, hackers and spies on your computer, well, they seem to just walk right through the door, and you can't always find them or kill them! How can I get rid of something that I can't see, that the virus and spyware checkers can't catch? If these virus goblins would just show themselves, maybe I could attack them and get rid of them!?

Uh, actually, I think I need some help, here. I need to find some other free virus programs to double check on anything that Avast might not have found.

A common problem with virus checkers is that as soon as the scanner programs think they've got it all down, then the dark dastardlies invent new spyware, adware and viruses that are even worse than the previous ones and even more invisible! I don't know how the virus and spyware checker companies stay in business and stay sane with all of this craziness going on!

Oops, I suddenly realized that I was being too focused on pessimism and negativity, probably because it was Halloween. I was probably being negatively influenced by the dark forces. Geez. It never ends. The computer only mirrors real life dramas and the fight between good and evil.

In another article I read, it said that oftentimes, viruses, spyware and hackers will disable your virus and spyware programs. Geez. So, that meant that although Avast seemed to be okay, maybe it wasn't (unless System Restore had fixed that problem).

Avast was saying that there were no viruses, but I was still suspicious. I suspected something was there, invisibly lurking in my computer on Halloween night. It was major paranoia time.

I had been without a spyware checker for a couple of years now. It was beginning to dawn on me that this had not been a good idea.

Even if I did find a spyware program that would work with ME, it could possibly turn out to be a rogue program pretending to be the real program. This is another thing they are up to! You have to be so careful what you download and believe in these days. Just like in real life, the bad guys pretending to be the good guys and fooling lots of people, and they're often very good actors. 

As I was looking for a spyware program, I decided to peruse one of the more popular computer geek sites. It recommended two major spyware programs, so I went to both of those web sites to download both programs. Unfortunately, I found out that they did not work with Windows ME. However, I had to go through the whole download process before I discovered this, as their web sites did not tell me this beforehand and led me to believe that their programs did work with Windows ME.

Do they do this on purpose to upset us, or what? Why can't people take the time to update their web sites? I have run into this many times, actually, where the web site will say that the program is compatible with my operating system, and then I find out that it is not. I think that they just want to drive me crazy.  

Next, I read some information on another computer geek's web site. This guys' bio said he used to work on mainframes. I figured anyone who could effectively work on mainframes was Mr. Smart in my book. I used to typeset on mainframes and had to watch the mainframe master go through all kinds of gyrations and nervous breakdowns every time the mainframes broke down, which was about once a week. 

Anyway, this web geek sounded really knowledgeable. A lot of what he said went right past me, as it was too technical and way beyond my league. But part of it made sense to me, especially the stuff about Windows ME and spyware programs.

I was swooning over this Mr. Smart-Mr. Cool-Geek Guy, and I wanted to check out a spyware program that he recommended. So, I went to that program's web site, which I discovered involved an online scanner. As I proceeded to follow the web site's instructions, I came to a juncture where it asked me to click on something. I clicked on it, several times, and absolutely nothing happened, I don't know why. So, well, I had to abandon that idea and exit.

This is another common problem on web sites ... you click on something, and it doesn't work. Why is this? Are the web masters all asleep? Don't the companies get a lot of complaints about this? Do they ever attempt to fix the problem? And then, when you send them an email about it, they don't ever answer you back and just keep you hanging out there in cyberspace, wondering if they are drunk, on a vacation, or just don't care anymore (if they ever did care).

So, anyway, this was just one more disappointment. I knew I needed to remain calm and patient, so I decided to take another three-hour break (I can afford to take three-hour breaks because I work at home with no set schedule).

Well, at this point I was almost ready to give up my search; but then I decided I had better download AdAware, if its all that's available for my operating system. So, I go to the AdAware site, and come to find out it no longer works with Win ME, either!! Oh, my God, what was I going to do? I couldn't just leave my computer unprotected. 

Of course, it's important to note that even if I had found a spyware scanner, my computer would still have been somewhat unprotected, in the sense that I probably could not find a firewall that would work with Windows ME, nor could I get any Windows Updates anymore that would fix the vulnerabilities that allow in hackers and spies. Plus, since I recently had to uninstall Firefox because it was corrupted or had a virus in it or something, I was now stuck with using Internet Explorer, which was a more vulnerable browser than Firefox was. This is an older version of Internet Explorer, by the way, because the newer versions don't work on Windows ME (surprise, surprise). Oh, well. We do the best we can with what we have, such as it is.

I didn't give up, though. I was determined to find a free, good spyware checker program or online scanner that was compatible with Windows ME! (I don't give up, ever, on anything! And I refuse to die! That's why I'm still alive and functioning after all that I've been through! My life has been very challenging).

As I continued my web search for the perfect spyware program that would work with Windows ME, I managed to find Spyware Blaster. It works by preventing spyware and viruses from entering your computer in the first place, kind of the way a firewall works (only firewalls keep out the hackers).

Everything went smoothly with this install. It was a very fast install, and it worked fine with Windows ME. It was also extremely simple to configure and operate. You basically don't have to do much of anything except let it constantly monitor your computer. You don't have to run any scans, either.

It kind of bothers me, though, that I cannot see any of the work it is doing. It doesn't let me know if it caught any intruders trying to break in, or not. It doesn't tell me anything. Oh, well, I guess I just have to trust it the same way I trust God. Hmm. I wonder what that symbolizes?

So, now that I had taken care of the spyware program problem, I needed to start focusing on finding a good firewall.

Firewalls have also been a big problem on this machine. I had tried Zone Alarm quite a few years ago; but it totally messed up my computer, so I uninstalled it. I think at that time, it was a fairly new program; but by now, they have probably cleared out all of the bugs. I also suspect that at that time, it conflicted with some other programs on my computer. Also, back then, I had never before used a firewall, and it seemed kind of confusing and overwhelming to me. Zone Alarm kept asking me all of these strange questions that I didn't know how to answer, and if I didn't answer them, then Zone Alarm couldn't do its job.

Believe it or not, on Halloween night, I decided to try going with Zone Alarm again! This was because I read on a computer forum that Zone Alarm was far better than most firewalls and that you could use it with Windows ME.

The download went just fine, it was easy to configure, and has been working fine ever since.

Next, I wanted to run some sort of virus checker besides Avast, as a double check/second opinion.

I remembered that McAfee offers a free online scan, so I went to the McAfee web site to run a scan. On the screen, it said to install Active X controls. It also looked as if it had already started scanning, so I figured I must already have the Active X thing since it was already starting to scan my computer.

It looked like this scan was going to take a long time, so I decided to watch TBN online while I waited. After about an hour, suddenly I get this message on the screen saying I need to install the Active X thing. Geez! So, I click "Yes." Then nothing happens. About 5 minutes later, on the screen it is asking me to start the McAfee virus scan (I thought I already did!), so I click the start button and it starts scanning. Well, at least it is doing the scan now, even if it took about an hour to get it started. What's going on with the Internet and everything lately? I just don't know anymore. Everything is so whacky. 

So, again, while I was waiting, I went back into TBN to watch Rev. Robert Schuller, Sr. It seemed that the online TBN buttons for choosing low, medium or high video streaming weren't working properly, and the buffering was constantly incomplete so that I was getting choppy streaming. I kept trying, but the streaming was still incomplete and choppy. This was extremely unusual for TBN online. Anyway, I got out of TBN and then went back into it again about 15 minutes later, and suddenly all was working just fine again.

Did some dark ghost try to stop me from watching this spiritual sermon? After all, today is Halloween. And did it start working again because God made it work? I did do some prayers to God about it as it was happening (I pray about everything under the sun all day long. God only knows what would go wrong if I didn't do this). 

Interestingly, Dr. Schuller was preaching about why God doesn't answer prayers, why He delays answers to prayers, and so on. Hmm. I guess I was meant to hear this at that time. 

I then went back into McAfee to see how the scan was coming along. It looked like it would be another hour or so before it was finished. As I gazed bleary-eyed at the screen, I suddenly noticed that it said if it finds a virus, it won't remove it. Hmm. So what was I supposed to do to remove it, then? It said I would have to buy their service to have it removed from a distance by one of their techies. $89.95 to buy this service! Don't get me wrong, I'm not criticizing it, I just can't afford it. All I can afford is freeware. But at least I'll know if the computer has any viruses. If it does, then that means that Avast isn't my hero anymore.

McAfee didn't find any viruses on my computer. 

So far, I had been doing all of this on the computer for about four hours, minus the three-hour break and a short dinner break. Talk about intense!

I found myself wondering why I was doing all of this on Halloween? I thought it must be some kind of omen, maybe of something not good; but then, again, Dr. Schuller was a positive omen, and I knew that God was more powerful than the Devil, right? So God would win out and I would succeed in my quest to protect my computer, right? ... unless God had some kind of good reason for delaying his answer to my prayers, which I suppose could happen.

Dr. Schuller said that if God didn't answer a prayer, it was because you wanted something that wasn't going to be good for you or that would hurt someone else. Or, it was because your timing was off and God was planning to answer your prayer later on. Things are in God's timing for a good reason. It doesn't always happen right away. He said if God wanted to wait to answer your prayer, it meant that you needed to grow where you were planted for a while. Sounded like great higher wisdom to me. (I really do understand this, but I tend to get very impatient sometimes).

Okay, so the answer to my prayers had been delayed for about five hours. Some of it got answered, but some of it didn't. Evidently, I needed to grow for a while. What was I learning from this experience? Not to be too critical, not to be too impatient, and not to be too addicted to the computer. I was also learning things that I could later write about to enlighten others who would read this article. Yeah, that's it, I think. God knew exactly what he was doing. 

 

I decided to take a break from all of this for a while and check my Yahoo email. I went into Internet Explorer and typed in the Yahoo web address; and after clicking on "Go," nothing came onto the screen, it was just a blank. OMG, I can't access my email?!! I had no idea how to fix this, and I was sure this was caused by hackers, but by who, and how? I decided I had better see if another browser could take me into Yahoo. 

Even though I had uninstalled Firefox recently because it seemed to be corrupted, this was an emergency and so I figured I had better get Firefox back. I typed Mozilla Firefox into the Search bar, and it showed more than one site for Mozilla Firefox. I couldn't figure out if they just have two or three different web sites, or if one of them is a fake web site run by hackers, or what. 

I went into one of the Firefox web sites, and alas, I discovered that Firefox was no longer compatible with Windows ME. Why am I not surprised? But, how and when did that happen? I'd been using it until a day or so ago!

I could have tried to find out how to get an older version of Firefox that works with ME, but I was becoming impatient and decided not to bother researching it.

Next, I found a web page that listed choices of several different types of browsers, and I decided to choose Opera. After installing and going into Opera, I typed Yahoo into the Opera address bar, and it came up just fine. I played around with Opera for a few minutes and then went back into Internet Explorer again just to see if I could connect to the Yahoo web site this time. No, it didn't work, just a blank screen! I thought to myself, "What's going on? Have hackers managed to mess up Internet Explorer now, too? Or is it a problem with Yahoo's site? Why can I get Yahoo with Opera, but not with Internet Explorer? Geez."

The problem with using Opera is that many online programs won't run except on Internet Explorer or Firefox. It's like they don't know that Opera exists. It isn't well-known and popular enough for a lot of them to accept, I guess.

Well, I still had Internet Explorer, if I needed it. I thought I might try Firefox again, but I wasn't sure. Did Firefox still support Windows ME, or not?! It must, since I had just been using it with Windows ME a few days ago. So very weird.

I had only just installed Opera, but it seemed perfectly fine, and I got a real good feeling about it. 

Next, I did a disk cleanup and ran scan disk and defrag. Maybe this stuff would help, too. 

Okay, so then I took another three-hour break, since I was feeling too frazzled to continue.

The next thing I did was to search for an online spyware scanner that would work with Windows ME. One didn't work, as it said to click on something, and when I did, it just stuck there. I am finding this sort of thing to be very common, especially on scanner sites. I finally got out of that one and kept searching until I came up with Trend Micro. I suddenly remembered that I had used this online scanner in the past, but had forgotten all about it. At that time, the scanner found no viruses or malware.

To use Trend Micro, I needed to download Java, which I did. That went fine. Then the scanner said to wait until it finished its processes and scans. While I waited, I decided to check out their offer of a free 30-day trial of their software. I clicked the okay button to download it, and then it gave me an error message. Something was wrong, so I just decided to forget about it rather than try to figure it out. My brain was already too fried. 

The online scan seemed to be progressing okay, however. Then I decided to take another look at why the download didn't work, and it gave me an option to click on something else if the window didn't appear that showed the choice to "Run." So, I clicked on that other button, and then it told me that it can't work with my operating system. Well, at least their online scanner works with my operating system.

The Trend Micro scan finally finished, and it found no spyware! Hmm. I was so sure my computer had malware; but maybe when I used System Restore the other day it got rid of it?

Okay, so then I did an overall assessment of my current situation. Did I need anything else? ?This was what I had come up with so far to protect my computer: 

Virus Checkers:  McAfee (free online); Avast (free, installed).
Spyware Checkers: Spyware Blaster (free, installed); Trend Micro (free, online).
Firewall: Zone Alarm (free, installed).
Browsers:  Internet Explorer; Opera.

Well, maybe that would do it. It seemed like the time to stop my search and rest (for a long long time!).

I wished I could still do Windows Updates, though. Interestingly, the next day Zone Alarm told me that a program called "Microsoft Automatic Updates" was trying to access the Internet. This seemed extremely suspicious to me, since Windows ME no longer gets updated at all; and I had recently read that there is a rogue program called "Automatic Updates" circulating around that installs malware on your computer once you install it. So, I told Zone Alarm, no, don't allow it access.

This spyware, hacker and virus stuff can sure make me feel pretty paranoid. I start thinking these nasties are lurking around every bend, and I'm afraid of things that go bump in the night. Even Halloween feels a little scary, although I don't believe in Halloween or like it very much. But I feel like Zone Alarm and Spyware Blaster will stop 'em cold if they try to get into my computer.

Yeah! I feel better now, knowing that I have some extra protections on my computer. This makes me feel safer and less vulnerable; why, I don't know, since it wasn't me that was sick, it was my computer!

Well, I managed to get past Halloween and the computer creepies! What will my next adventure be like, out there in cyberspace?