Recently my daughter sent me a poster. In the poster it read...."Someday everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason."

After reading this I thought to myself, how very simply true this saying or statement is. As I applied this to my own life I realized that a lot of things are going on that I don't really understand. As much as I try to make sense of the turns and changes occurring in my daily life, I honestly can not. I tell myself to relax and go with the flow, but then again my mind starts to question me, asking "what are you doing CJ?" Some days nothing makes sense and I marvel that I even made it through the day. Grateful to be back home safely in my bed I sigh in relief, still not understanding what is it that I am suppose to do. I know I've been called to use my voice and give pause to the experiences I have lived through, to give someone else hope for their future, but I don't know what exactly I am suppose to do.

I've lost a great deal in my life that meant much to me, but I try hard not to lose the lesson I learned. I've lost some people that meant the world to me, like my grandmother that raised me, my cousin who was like my older brother, my uncle who was the kindest man I've ever known. I lost a marriage that I believed would last forever and was forced to become a single young mother. I lost friendships because I moved around alot. I lost time trying to just survive and not go crazy. I lost hope and faith from time to time and had to fight my own demons in order to go on.

After reading the statement in the poster I smiled. The words encouraged me and gave me the will to fight on. I chose to laugh more, especially at myself. I don't look at what's going on as though it were the end of the world, but rather a detour to the goals I am trying to achieve. Although I am often confused about the way my life is, I chose to smile and thank God I have a life at all that is filled with people that love me and care about me. If I cry now it is because I am laughing so hard I cry or I am so happy to see someone that tears form.

I remind myself that each and everything that has happened or will happen is for a very good reason and a power greater than myself is in control. I breathe long and deep and walk with my head up knowing without a doubt that where I am right now, at this very moment is exactly where I need to be and for a very good reason.

I feel free knowing this and I hope when you think about how your own life was or is now, you'll laugh, smile and recognize that everything going on around you is for a reason. Choose to win and not lose yourself in the confusion of the world.