So I was sitting behind my computer when a gush of smoke filled the room like a scene from Backdraft. When the smoke cleared, there stood a massive genie. He was blue and kind of talked like Robin Williams but that was beside the point. He looked down on me and said, "Today, I am going to make you the hottest woman alive. You will be female for a day and what you do today will not effect the outcome of anything. There are no repercussions and nothing will ever go wrong. Just be a girl for a day."

I started feeling really weird inside and much like Lon Chaney in the Wolfman, I began an incredible transformation. My ring on my finger became huge. I could now fit two fingers in it. My feet became too small for shoes, and stomach fat disappeared faster than you can say Nip/
Tuck. Breasts emerged from my chest and my lips became pouty. My short hair became long, and my fingernails turned a lovely shade of pink. My voice got sexy and my penis became this sticky weird looking thing. The transformation was complete. I ran to the mirror and stood in awe. I was a super hot woman.

For the next two hours I stared at myself naked. I was pretty damn sexy unclothed. My boobs occupied most of my time. I couldn't stop touching them. But then I realized I also had a vagina....and curiousity got the best of me and I couldn't help myself. I always wondered what it felt like for a woman.....so I did my thing...and interestingly enough, no matter what I did I couldn't quite...um...get it. It felt good don't get me wrong. It's just I couldn't get to the point I wanted. It was a little unsettling to know that if I couldn't get it right, how could I in a man's body get it right on my girlfriend. I decided to chalk it up to being a beginner and realized I had the world at my fingertips.

I took to the mall and went into all the trashiest sluttiest places I could find. Cut off shorts...check. Sexy tubetop with no bra. Check. Professional make up done...check. I will admit, walking in high heels was a pain in the ass, but I soon got used to it after the blood and screaming of my foot subsided. I actually got all my clothes for free by flirting with the moronic guys behind the counter. It was easier than I first thought. All you really have to do is pretend that the 17 year old Express counter guy has a chance and it's smooth sailing from there. To test out my newfound beauty, I tried to steal an iPod from the electronics store. The alarm went off and the security guy told me to take it and he would give me a five minute head start. He gave me his number too. He was really nice.

I also got invited out three times by weirder older guys. I look 24 but most of the guys hitting on me were 50 plus. Weird. Oh well. I accepted an invite from one of the older gentlemen that had a nice Corvette in the parking lot. I would meet him later but first, I had to play jokes on all my guy friends. I went to the local gym where one of my friends works as a personal trainer. I asked how much a gym membership was and to my surprise it was free. Funny, when I asked my buddy how much it was two days earlier in my man form, he told me it was 40 bucks a month and there was nothing he could do about it. He must have messed up. Anyway, I left before he could put his hands on me to "show" me how to use the squat machine because I didn't want things to get too weird. Plus, I had that date.

I was getting ready to get into my car when a limo showed up miraculously to drive me to my destination. It's weird. I never had that happen when I was male. Anywho, the limo driver took me to the fanciest restaurant in Chicago where my date was waiting at the nicest table in the place. All eyes were on me when I walked in, but for some reason I was getting really jealous at our waitress. She was good looking too and I really couldn't put my finger on why, but I really hated that bitch. My date and I had some small talk and he was drooling over me and making a complete ass of himself. I really hope I don't act like that when I am around my girlfriend. He gave me a nice Tiffany's diamond necklace and paid for the meal. Being a girl isn't half bad.

We then got in the limo and my date kept putting his hands on my legs. It was gross. I didn't want to kiss the guy because he and I had nothing in common, but since he bought dinner and a necklace, I kind of felt guilty if I didn't. Still, I was going to be a guy again tomorrow so I didn't want to do anything I would later regret and feel gay about. So I insisted that he kept his hands to himself. He kept trying though, and I kind of got pissed off. I told him no again, and he got all mad. I have no idea why. I guess since he bought dinner he thought he was owed the right to fondle my boobs.

We got back to my house and I wished him a good night. He called me a cock tease and sped off. What a jerk! I hate men! Arg!! Time to go sit on the couch. For some reason, I really want to watch the newest episode of Project Runway. I took some ice cream out of the freezer and sat back and watched Dana make a fool of herself on the show. That dress?! Hideous!

I fell asleep on the couch and awoke to find my penis there. I was me again. I will miss my female self. Everywhere I went, I got attention. Everything I did no matter how dumb, all the guys were really nice to me. . I got dinner paid for and a free necklace. Being a woman was fun. Now if I could only harness that power when I am a man, I could rule the world.