Women of Sex and the City: The Modern Elements

In honor of the new, and highly anticipated, "Sex and the City" movie that is coming out this Friday I thought I would explore a seldom discussed but often hinted at girl-ism: the phenomenon of every woman between 13 and 89 being able to tell you which character they are most like in the series at the drop of a hat.

It is strange I know, especially since the world of SatC is a very specific niche that relatively few women can actually identify with: successful, rich, single, 30-something career women in Manhattan. Thusly men out there (and probably some astute women) will be confused by how scores of women can see themselves reflected in these characters. In some senses it reminds me a bit of some type of pagan craft where people are considered to be made up of earth, wind, fire, and water, and each person has different amounts of each (or is that Captain Planet I'm thinking of...). Almost every woman I talk to can tell me how much they have of each of the characters: "I'm mostly Samantha, but have a lot of Carrie in me and equal parts of Miranda and Charlotte."

While I am aware of this strange, universal affinity, I too could tell you exactly what I see myself as: 100% Samantha. Yet from personal experience I can tell you that just because you identify yourself with one of the characters doesn't mean you identify with their actions. For me, I see the strong, powerful, confident and charismatic parts of Samantha as what I identify with, not her new-guy-every-minute side. Similarly, all women who identify with Carrie don't necessarily agree/emulate her infidelity or sometimes bitchy moods.

But perhaps the strangest part of this trend is that once you have decided who you are in SatC terms, you get violently and passionately offended should someone label you as a different character. Example: The other day while at dinner with a friend we were discussing the movie and somehow started to talk about our identifying characters. I asked her who she thought she was and she said, "Mostly Carrie with a little bit of Charlotte thrown in." I said something to effect of "oh, I see you as having more Miranda than Charlotte," to which she, while throwing me dagger-glances, replied, "You have got to be joking, there is no way I'm Miranda. How could you say that to me?"

See what I mean? I think it is because the four women of the show, like the four pagan elements, are representative of characteristics beyond the actual character. If you see yourself as go-with-the-flow water, you would probably be frustrated and insulted if someone saw you as hard-as-dirt earth. Same applies here. Everyone's interpretation of these modern elements is a little different, but this is how they break down in my mind:

Carrie = independent, smart, supportive, loyal, imperfect, unsure, insecure, genuine, fun

Samantha = powerful, confident, independent, charismatic, loud, sexual, fearless

Charlotte = pure, innocent, naïve, hopeful, romantic, prissy, prudish, loving

Miranda = negative, cynical, untrusting, loyal, dedicated, strong, independent, unromantic, awkward

From my common experience I can tell you that no one wants to be seen as a "Miranda" because she is the negative, hopeless one. If you tell someone that they are Miranda it is like telling someone they are a bitch, or the Debbie-downer of your friend circle. It is a serious social faux-pas (as I learned from the previously outlined situation).

Maybe the reason everyone can powerfully identify with these characters - and the reason the show has such a fan base - is not just what they see in them, but what they would like to see in themselves. Everyone knows Miranda is the most negative character in the show, and no one wants to see themselves as hard, unreachable, and sarcastic. We want to be seen as powerful, loving, sweet, loyal, and even humanly flawed. We want to have something in common with those fabulous, Cosmo-drinking Jimmy-Choo wearing women, who no longer had to choose to be a working girl, a mother, or a lady: they could do it all. And by using these women to identify and explain various parts of our personal make up, our own balances of the elements, we tell the world just as much about what we want to be as what we think we already are.

So...which one are you?

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