Welcome To My World
57Geeezzz...What Else Could Go Wrong?
The cat is pregnant, the kid got shot in the head, I got laid off this week and other than that, all is well with my world.
Oh yeah, and the mortgage is behind too....but hey I got new couches yesterday so when I'm out ON the street at least I'll have something to sit on.
Seriously though, all I can do at this point is try to find some humor in a week from H&&&LLL...... all of the above is true...the kid is recovering but won't talk to me now. The cat is looking for a place to have her babies and the job...well what the heck...who needs money anyway????????
Things Must Get Better
I've had it this week. I am about to strangle my daughter-in-law who just kicked the shot in the head kid out of her life......I am ready to ship the cat off to China to some cat-house.....and the job.....well maybe I won't need one anyway after I go stark raving mad, gather all of the people together that are making me mad right now and put them all in front of my own firing squad (the cat included)
I could use rubber bullets and shot them all in their toes, one toe at a time until they all beg for mercy and give into my demands.
The demands of a mother that is about to lose her mind.
You don't want to mess with a mad mother....oh no....
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My Final Demands
MY DEMANDS::: (BEFORE YOU FACE THE MOTHERS WRATH)
1.Immediately cease and desist from making stupid mistakes like going to East Palo Alto to buy a car that you know was way under value (this one is for the shot in the head kid)
2. NEVER, I REPEAT NEVER CARRY THAT MUCH CASH ON YOU (also for the shot in the head kid)
3. Stop having sex with every Tom, Dick and Harry in the Neighborhood (this one for the pregnant cat)
4. Please let me know employer if I'm really laid off or not (the suspense is killing me) I need to know if I need to haul those couches out to sleep on them or not.
Phew,,,,OK now that I have that off my chest I feel a tad bit better...now can someone please direct me to the rubber bullets?
(This was written about a week ago and things are looking up. The shot in the head kid is getting better, the job unlaid me off plus I got a new job as the SF Climate Change Examiner. The cat's still pregnant but hey what can you do?)
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Comments
Did you consider having your cat fixed? You can still do it if the cat is not "too" pregnant. It's a kitty abortion but hey most of us cause death to cows chickens and pigs too. If you have poor income there are usually organizations that will subsidize it for you. In my town, the "means test" is if you've heard of the organization they grant your application, as it's cheaper to just pay for the fix than it is to do a real means test.
Seriously, I'm sorry you're having a down time, and indeed all you can do is laugh. Read my latest two hubs for a laugh. I was laughing in the face of potentially chemotherapy but now I don't have to have it. I wouldn't have let them scare me into it anyway.
GREAT HUB
Nice to know that everything is falling in place. Remember I told you in one of your Hubs (The Valley of Life) "Don't you ever give up". It seems your efforts and patience has started showing off right result. Just hold on things will definitely fall in place, just see it has already started.
I am really glad that your kid is recovering very well and that you also got a job, that's great and so far you cat is concerned, ya you are right, we can can hardly do anything now but teach her some stuffs about family planning! All the best. Take care! :)
Chin up Dorsi, Look at the bright side...... Kitties are so cute and fluffy and the Mama will feed them for you! As for the son, well I have two wayward men and they are hard of hearing Mom's voice, remember how well you listened?
No?, I don't want to think about that either. Bless you girl! It will all come out in the wash. Sending LIGHT.
Hi Dorsi
Glad you got it off your chest and hubbed about it too! Anyway, I hope its sunnier these days in your part of the universe :)
"Quotes for the Day"
- Jack Welch
"Change before you have to."
- Robert Half
"When one teaches, two learn."
- Steve Jobs
"I want to put a ding in the universe."
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earnestshub says:
9 months ago
Laugh! Thats what you can do. laugh dismissively, Haughtily and often.
Seriously Dorsi, if it was raining good luck you would be in the only dry spot. Hope things get Waaaay better for you soon.