When you look a lizard right in his or her ol eye you get the impression she/he might be a ol faker! They got this "who me?" look all a time! And when they ain't fakin' they're laughin'! No lie. They just silently smile. Possibly the MOST CONFIDENT REPTILE in the world!

This ol' hippo lookin' all 'round the place for a little friend. You know, a pet, to have around that would be the LEAST TROUBLE possible and what's more FREE! FREE, WILD, and soooo entertainin'. Everbody else got a pet in this world. So, the hippo said, "Shoot! I might swell fin' me a liddle fren' like 'at!" An' so I was lookin' at the spiders awhile, but they were way too aggressive! An' then I looked aroun' at the frogs. They came close, but they were so clannish! and noisy! PLUS they needed so much WATER! just like the crickets!

Then, this very mornin', right after I finished my breakfas, there she was - ready made-to-order and she convinced me! I took to her like a bee to a cosmos!

I thought right off, "Hey, could learn sumpin' from this here lizard!"

Lizards! Never really realized before today, just what a FAB pet a lizard really can be! NO! not kidding! Is true!

Truly marvy little, tickly little, mischievous and twitchy, but oh, so fun to watch!

CARE and FEEDING: They don’t need much in the way of care. They’re completely happy with a glance and a bit of a chat now and then. Don’t need no pensive trainin’ or groomin’ or even need any ol veterinary, neither. You don't have to feed 'em, not unless you get all possessive and put em in a cage. I'm sayin is - the lizard do not need, or like, the cage.

SPECIAL EQUIPMENT: What am I sayin here? Nothin! No special quipment, no way. No cage necessary. In fact, all you gotta do is, if you live in lizard land, open a window or a screen door just a crack now and then near where you've noticed one on the wall. They'll come in at their leizure and check on you.

BREEDING PAPERS: What? Are you kiddin? But, yeah, I've been considerin' AKC registration scam for the ol alligator lizard buddies, but I'm not sure they would hold still for that. There are of course, places that sell fancy reptiles and amphibians, and after you've familyarized yourself with the wild variety you might want to go check on them.

PLUS they’ll hold still for a pitchur an then if you don’t act all domineerin and stuff like 'at.

Sweet little pet! You can give yours a name, if you want. 'Sgonna be hard to get her to come when you call tho. Allie is this one right cheer. Allie, the alliGATOR lizard! An' she will be back, when she's darn good n ready.

See, cuz lizards, they're not gonna be easy to train. I picked Allie out of all the lizards I've seen cuz she likes to pose for the camera! And she likes to stay WILD! Which is how I like my lizards to stay. Wild and outside! hehe

That lizard will come right in and eat up the little spiders and flies around the winders that're givin' you a bad time with the ol' dust and cobwebs. The lizard will also mostly get away from your dogs and cats, if you got any. Mostly. Once in awhile you might lose one. Haven't found no way to get dogs and cats to leave my pet lizards alone. That's why I picked this one who staked out her terrortory up high! Dogs aroun' here can't get her!

You make frends with the lizard, she'll be happy, you'll be happy.  Won't have to get no "lizard sitter", won't have to get a fancy "vacation feeder".  She won't steal your shoe and take it in under the bed and chew it to a shred neither!  Yes, yes, the more I think on it, the more I can't think of a better pet!  The Western Alligator Lizard!  She's a beaut!