I Would Want My Ex Back, But...

If there is one thing that I want to get back, it's my ex boyfriend. Manly speaking, he is, I think the most gentle of all the men who came into my life. During our days, we were so much in-loved. Tell me all the sweetness that you know, I have them with him. The respect, the love, the best romance; the sense (common or humor); most of the times spent with him deserved to be treasured. But, one thing that I didn't like and never worked out having him with me, is that, he is a family man. In other words, I was the other woman.

It all started when I used to see him. He is very goodlooking guy, that I think, of all the boys I love before he was the most handsome. I can still remember how I'd wished to be his girlfriend. After resigning to my previous jobs, we became lovers, making the story short. We lasted for three months, leaving all my fantasy behind. I can still remember the very last time we went together, inside the church I almost cried because I really wouldn't want to lose him. Not because of my fantasy that came true but I was absolutely falling in love with him, knowing the fact that he was already taken.I knew, for myself that it was a true love. Still refresing inside my memory things that he usually says everytime I tell him "I love you," he would always say, "thank you." Why, thank you. Because, he appreciates everything that I does for him. I love to love him all the way, with all that I can give, because I love him. All I know is to love and love him the most that it seemed to come in to a point that I had no care whether he loves me as well the same way that I love him. Until one time, I acted selfishly that I wanted to give him all of me just for the sake of my feelings that I never thought things that might have happen if I run to this, because I would want to end life with him or share my life with him forever. But, I know God wouldn't want to happen that. Before we separated our ways that very last time, I realized how good is destiny. He wasn't my destiny, I guess. And he will never be mine. We broke up then.

Did I realize how much he loved me then? Yes, I did. When I looked back to our days, I started to realize how lucky his wife is to have this wonderful guy that she can't appreciate. I've seen myself with his wife, the reason why we ended up so soon. But, eversince then, he never compared me. He would always say, I am different among the others. That I know I am. I would always want to be different from his previous girls even much appreciated from his wife. But, the more I wanted to become different, the more he sees in me his wife. Actually he hated his wife, for him she is a total disaster. But, good thing in him he can still be a good father to their one and only daughter even if he had doubts about her wife's pregnancy. I realized my demands, that seemed to be overacting, as if I am the real wife. Soon I realized that it was a big mistake.

He used to have a best friend who knows everything about his life. She is nice and easy to be with. I also used to hang out with her. I in fact, helped her be hired in her present job.When we broke up, he dropped me to his best friend's house. I got the chance to talk to her. We talked about everything about him. Still fresh in my memory how she pacify me during my crying time. She told me to forget about him. Because he can't love me the way I wanted to be loved by him. My standards for love was so high that even if he fills it up, that would not compliment because your small thing, was already a big thing for him. "You'll not gonna work out even if you do, things would not gonna get better for the both of you." That simply hurts. But she had a point there.I couldn't sleep that very night thinking about every inch of her words on me.That, then I realized how true was that. Because, after a long time of not seeing my ex, when I asked him to see me on my birthday, he wouldn't say no. We got the chance to meet again, had a drink and guess tossed with the friendship. Also, had the chance to talk about what happened to us. From then I realized how true about his bestfriend's quoted on me during our break up.How I wished I was his bestfriend that I could also got to know him and get closed to him. But, I am not and will not going to be. "I can't replace her," he said as he smiled at me. "She knows every pieces of me, she is me." That simply touched my heart that couldn't help my tears. I cried. I missed him that much. I wanted him back, but I guess he never wanted. And that became the very memorable birthday ever celebrated among my previous birthdays. We parted ways, and never see each other again. However, communications weren't that bad. We do texts, sms messaging. I couldn't help myself to get still a little in touch with him. That I realized also, how stupid I am. He had his relationship, live in partner. broke-up with his wife, and so many things. I also got the chance to know his girl and became friends.

Months later when we finally got to meet again. We were both applying on a certain job. When we were already in it, he backed out. Then I continued. But after a while I also stopped, I wasn't that happy performing that certain opportunity. Again, we parted ways. And never ever got the chance to see each other again. I stopped texting him, forgetting about good and happy memories shared together. I just can't.

Months, years past. I am now happily living with my loving family, still can't forget him. But, not because I want him back but because I still wanna befriend him. Because friendship means a lot to him. He can't be a good lover for other girls that he had, but one thing for sure is that, he can be the BEST friend for he will never replace you.

Finally...

After so many years, we got the chance to meet again. Me having family, already. With a little conversation, I am now a little updated with his life. He is now connected in one of the leading companies in the world. Have been in a relationship for two years but wasn't worked out cause of their differences. He never changed. He is still a perfect gentleman. Still a good friend. I was overwhelmed, I almost wanted him back but he wouldn't let me. He told me one thing, "Don't mess up your life with me... I'm just a nobody." That made me cried, again. Not because I was hurt, but because I was ashamed of myself of messing up with a nobody. I realized then how good is he. How good "nobody" is.

On his 30th birthday, I gave him a bath towel as a gift. And wished as if he didn't knew. I wished for him the best of everything, family, career, and most of all the best of relationship. I wished that the next girl to come in his life be a little closer to my personality that he'll be loved and understand his little shortcomings and very big heart.

As I open my e-mails, he added me on his Facebook account. I think he's happy now... with his new relationship... this cutie girl happen to be an Arian, born on the second day of April...Happy to have seen them happy together. Wish them the best of everything.

Wishes really do come true.