Would You Be Loved More If You Were A Woman?

A reader left a comment on one of my articles, and I thought it went to the very heart of why some men like pretending to be women. He said:

“For those of us who are touch with our feminine side, I truly believe we do the best we can do to provide that comfort for our girlfriends or wives, so it seems unselfish to me to try to create an environment where we might possibly be able to feel some of that love and comfort”

It would seem then, that some men associate femininity with being loved, cared for and protected. This no doubt starts off early in life, when boys see little girls being cosseted by their parents, whereas they are encouraged to go and be strong. Even when siblings fight, parents quite often take the side of the female child if the conflict happens to be occurring between male and female siblings. This is in spite of the fact that there often is no real discernible difference in size and strength between children at that age.

Of course, parents do this to educate their sons not to hit women when they are older, when the size and strength difference will very much make a difference. In addition to this, men may be dismayed by the fact that a lot of the cues given to young men tell them that their role is to sacrifice. Historically, young men were the ones expected to first lay down their lives in service of their country. Today, women are an active part of the military and quite often end up dying in the name of whatever their government says they should die for as well.

On average however, women are still protected and valued more than men. This occurs for evolutionary reasons, because one woman is required to produce one child, whereas a single male could quite easily populate a small town by himself without too much trouble if he was given access to enough single women. It also occurs because, on average, women are not as physically strong as men. It is hardwired into us to take care of those who are not as physically adept (unless you're male, in which case it is something of an unforgivable weakness.)

Traditional gender roles place women in a subordinate role, with a male leading, and if we are to be honest with ourselves, we must admit that women still like men with leadership qualities. In some instances, a female subordinate role is seen as being repressive, in others, it is seen as being protective and loving. Muslims often make the argument that the the reason why women are not allowed to go about as they please and must remain covered when out of their family homes is that they are loved and cared for and protected by their male family members. This is often dismissed as utter rubbish by Westerners, but it essentially comes from the same roots as the fantasy of the 1950's housewife.

I do not know if Muslim men like dressing up as women, it would be rather difficult to tell if they did, and common sense tells me that there are at least one or two who must have done it once or twice, but in Western society at least, we know for sure that many men have picked up on the themes of love, care and protection as often expressed towards women and desire them for themselves.

Does this mean that men are ultimately less loved than women? I think not. Though love and affection is often expressed more tenderly towards females, there can be no doubt that males are often favored as children and adults, and women can be just as demonstrative and loving towards their male partners, if not more so, than their male partners are towards them. Love comes in many forms and guises.