Part 1. What Does Your Life Mean To You?

Part 2. What Does Your Life Mean Before God?

Part 3. What Does Your Life Reveal To The World?

Part 4. What Does Your Life Mean To Your Family?

In this series, we have explored writing your life's message as a Christian. The lives we lead are not lived unto themselves. They have impact upon others in a literal and spiritual context. In this conclusion, we will focus on the effect our lives have on our families. A spiritually led husband, wife, father, mother, son or daughter leaves an impression, a very real legacy that is passed on to succeeding generations. Just as the effects of sin (such as sexual sin or drug/alcohol abuse) leaves a mark upon family dynamics, so too, our spiritual lives.

The family is an interweaving of many social relationships which should have at its nexus, Jesus Christ. The sad thing is the World knows not Christ and Christians many times act like the World.

"For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself." (Romans 14:7)

The result of interactions of sinners in a group is, well, more sin. It is our nature to be fleshly, selfish and self-centered. The result is disharmoniousness to say the least. The family was designed like a wheel spinning around Jesus as the hub. When you change the shape of the family and remove the hub from its center, the wheel no longer turns smoothly (or doesn't turn at all). Replace the hub at the center, and the wheel again turns, more and more smoothly.

So what is your life's message to your family? What legacy will you leave to your children? What spiritual effect have you had on your family? Have you considered that life has a deeper meaning for your kids than paying bills or being there to sit with them?

The Life's Message Of A Spiritual Husband / Father. God designates the man in the role of head of the family. He must make his love of God genuine in the eyes of his family. If he plays a "god-game," if he tries to manipulate or control his family, then his wife and children will not be able to follow him (nor will they want to). His wife will see him as a dominating dictator that uses God to control her. His children will see church and living for God as a hypocritical mind game instead of a walk before the Lord. They will see God through the very real image they see before them and they will feel - If this is a reflection of Christianity I want no part of it.

Are you thinking, "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord?" or do you try as 1 Timothy says to rule your house well?

"One who rules his own house well, having his children in submisson with all reverence (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?)" (1 Timothy 3:4-5)

"And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:15)

Joshua made that quote as leader of his household. What leader do you know, when speaking of a path to go, is unsure about the direction? He's leading! As for ruling his own household, look up the Greek work for "rule" (proestemi). It means to literally stand in front of a group of people as an example and to assist them to follow as needed. The Biblical model for the husband to follow is how Christ deals with the church. The model for fathers is how Jesus leads His sheep. He is the Good Shepherd. Jesus will not force worship and good works from anyone. Remember, a man's fleshly tendency will be to dictate, to subjugate, but a Spirit-filled man does not behave that way. He is a shepherd and will "give his life for his sheep." Jesus said that a shepherd leads his sheep. He never drives them. The things Jesus did were to set an example for the church. He made the Scriptures alive in he heart of His followers. Likewise, it is our duty as husbands and fathers to infuse excitement around the serving of God. We never browbeat the Scriptures into our family. In the case of a saved but wayward mate, be faithful. Always show love and ask forgiveness in the event you are wrong. In the case of an unequally yoked marriage, it is important that all in your home see you loving God. If they see your zeal as fanatical, let it be in your personal service to the King. But while you serve God, remember that your first ministry is toward your household.

"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives his life for his sheep. But a hireling, he who is not the shepherd, one who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees; and the wolf catches the sheep and scatters them." (John 10:11-12)

"To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice; and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. And when he brings out his own sheep, he goes before them; and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice." (John 10:3-4)

"But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." (1 Timothy 5:8)

So men, what kind of husband are you? Do you lead your wife lovingly so that she wants to follow? or do you "lord it" over her so that she resents or can't in all good conscience follow you? Do you show her that you love God and follow Christ? or do you force her to be the spirtual leader of your household while you neglect your responsibilities?

What kind of father are you? Do you raise your children in the "nurture and admonition of the Lord? or do you browbeat them so they will not want to know God? Do you act the hypocrite around them? or do you show them how Jesus would act? Do you model love around them and love their mother so they will know how a man should love a woman? or do you belittle your wife, or hit her, or ignore her, showing them that these behaviors are how they are to behave?

The Life's Message Of A Spiritual Wife / Mother. Maybe this is from my own perspective, but in my estimation, the woman has a much harder role to fill than does the man. It is she that must make up the difference if her husband is lacking. It is, for example, the husband's duty to get the children learning about God, but if he doesn't, she must. She must be aware of his spirituality and support it, but at the same time she must not blindly follow a man not following God. He's just a man and can be misled or be in the flesh rather than the Spirit so she must lend her strength to him. At the same, time she can't enable him in any habits or sin patterns he may have. She can be strong as set forth in Proverbs 31, but must shun her own tendency to want to subjugate her husband. It is as inappropriate for her as it is for him. She needs to listen to her husband but only when he is led of the Lord. She needs to know the difference. She must care for her children while showing respect for her husband. She shows the children the proper way to lead and submit. Her role as wife is as critical as is her role as mother. Many times women put the children before the husband and the marriage suffers. Sometimes they put the husband first and exclude the children and the children suffer. The Biblical model is for the woman to love the Lord first and with her whole heart. Next comes the husband and then together they raise the children with a united loving front.

"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants. She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches her hands out to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known [because of her] in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her; "Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all." Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, let her own works praise her in the gates." (Proverbs 31:10-31)

See all of the things that a woman does who has the respect of the Lord? You see that it undergirds the family and her husband? God holds him responsible for the family direction but she makes it happen in her role. She is trusted and respected and has a reputation in the community. She has strength and wisdom, servants (employees) and money all under the cover of her husband but it is hers, as she follows the lead of the Lord in her life.

So, ladies, what kind of wife and mother are you? Do you follow your husband? or do you live your life separately from him? Do you undergird your family or do you tear it down around you? Do you model for your daughter what a Christian woman acts like? what a Christian marriage looks like? Do you show your sons an example they will wish to see in their own lives?

The Life's Message Of A Spiritual Son / Daughter. Sons and daughters come in all ages and levels of understanding. God made it simple for them. Obey your parents. Obey God first but obey your parents. To rebel against authority, and parents in particular, is the sinning World's way. God says obeying your parents will mean a longer life for you.

"Even a child is known by his deeds, whether what he does is pure and right." (Proverbs 20:11)

"Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old." (Proverbs 23:22)

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise: "that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth." Ephesians 6:1-3)

It's not that sinning humans have not complicated it for children. Divorce and infidelity, pornography and godlessness have crept into childrens lives via parents. Divorcing or separated parents use the children as leverage to have power one over the other. Obedience is then clouded in the child's mind with them imagining that their loyalty to one over the other will buy them love. The sin of a cheating dad or mom whether with a stash of porn or an actual person has its effect on them as well.  But children are capable of listening to God through it all.  Consider Josiah and his evil father and how he was able to weigh out his obedience to the Lord and become a wise king. (2 Kings 21-23)

Results Of Living God's Way. God places value on our actions here in this life. A husband that loves his wife and stands as a spiritual example for her earns treasures in heaven. The wife that acts as does the woman descibed in Proverbs 31 has value far above rubies as far as God is concerned. A father that makes good decisions for his children, providing for them and giving them all his heart, will cause that child to want to walk a similar path. Mothers that are faithful in raising their children are rewarded and blessed by them and God.  Children who see their parents love one another and respecting each other's role and ministry before the Lord will receive a legacy that stands forever. What message does your family get from the path you walk? Do they see someone they wish to mimic? or do they see a stumbling block? Is it clear that it is God you serve? or can your family see a hypocrite, someone that just plays church? A good man leaves an "inheritance for his children." The spiritual aspect of this verse is unmistakable. Your family knows you better than anyone else. Write your life's message well because you are being watched.