Funny Jokes That will Make you Laugh all the way
68Recently, a group of scientists and psychologists decided to try and find out what the funniest joke in the world was. This was obviously going to be a difficult task, as no two people ever really agree about what is funny and what is not – especially when they are from different countries.
Here I present a small collection of Funniest Jokes. I hope all of you like this.
1. Husband - Wife
A concerned husband went to the doctor to talk about his wife. He said to the doctor, "I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things." "Well," the doctor replied, "go home tonight, stand about 15 feet from her, and say something. If she doesn't reply, move 5 feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this until we get an idea about the severity of her deafness."
The husband went home and did exactly as the doctor had instructed. He started off 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she was chopping some vegetables.
He said, "Honey, what's for dinner?" He heard no response. He moved 5 feet closer and asked again. No reply. He moved 5 feet closer. Still no reply. He finally got fed up and moved right behind her, about an inch away, and asked again, "Honey, what's for dinner?" She replied, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!"
2. Late at Work!
A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, "You should've been here at 8:30!"
The guy replies, "Why? What happened at 8:30?"
3. Poor Patient
Patient: Doctor I'm having trouble having sex with my wife. When I get close enough to her, I get nauseous. When I insert, even an inch or two, I get sick to my stomach.
Doctor: Hmmmm, that does sound serious. Let me see it.
Patient sticks out his tongue...
4. Poor Fellow!
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
5. What is Viagra actually used for?
The lady teacher asks the students what kind of medicines they know and what they are used for.
The first student said: 'Tylenol.' 'Very good! And what is it used for?' 'It is used for headache.' The second student said: 'Nytol' 'Excellent. And what it is used for?' 'To help you sleep.' Now it is Johnny's turn and he said: 'Viagra' 'Johnny, what is it used for?' 'I think it can be used for diarrhea.' 'Who told you this?' 'Nobody, but every evening my mother tells my father, 'Take a Viagra, maybe that little shit will get harder.'PrintShare it! — Rate it: up down flag this hub
Hope you had some Fun. Please leave your Comments (and Jokes) Here:
Thanks. I will Keep Adding.
i dnt like these jokes that much i cold make betterones mtself the one with the tongue was good though lol:)
Lol at viagra ;D
Cute jokes :)
LOL, I love #4 and #5 and even though I've heard #4 before, it still makes me laugh. I needed a good giggle fest to start off the day. Thanks!
I am glad that you had fun. Keep laughing and have Fun.
i love number 4 and five " that little shit will get harder
i love number 4 and five " that little shit will get harder
CherylTheWriter says:
17 months ago
guidebaba, I loved #1 and #4. Keep the jokes coming!