Yeah, I have a little understanding for John Edwards
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He did terrible things. Not only did he have an extramarital affair (yeah, so what if his wife Elizabeth was in remission from cancer? That's a terrible excuse), but he publicly and adamantly lied about it. He lied to people so they would continue to support him, pay money to his campaign and stand up for him. A tabloid caught him in a hotel as an unregistered guest with the woman he was wrongly involved with, and they went after him until he hid in a bathroom. He gave people a reason to despise him, calling him a smooth lawyer who knows how to lie well. He had us all fooled, even the pundits.
And yet, I can't help but feel badly for him. The first thing I considered when I heard the news was the crises his family had experienced. His wife has treatable but unfortunately incurable cancer, which is obviously incredibly hard. Her breast cancer spread to her bones and possibly her lung. Also, the Edwards family lost their oldest 17-year-old son Wade 11 years ago when his Jeep was swept off the road by severe winds. Elizabeth Edwards quit her job as an attorney and their daughter postponed going to boarding school after the accident. Just three weeks before the accident, Wade was honored at the White House for being an finalist in the Voice of America essay contest.
Family crises like these can affect people in negative ways. People grow extremely vulnerable and may try to forget and ignore what happened in the past . Those who suffer tragedies and other crises may be prone to panic attacks post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, and more.
Family members, especially parents, may feel helpless in trying to help loved ones cope, and may avoid family time and seek shelter in other places, activities, and people. Roles or perceptions or roles may change completely in looking at what happened. Sometimes, family members need other resources than can be found within the family to deal with crises... including in the form of people and relationships. At times like these, affairs and divorces, gambling, and other occurrences are more likely to happen.
People will try to grieve and cope in any way they can. Consider the pressures on family leaders to deal with the pain and anger while helping loved ones do the same. It seems to me that John Edwards probably tried to distract himself from the struggles within himself and his family as well as his campaign by having an affair.
It's certainly not permissible... but it's understandable to me.
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Comments
I have to agree your hub is very good, and shows another perspective. But I do not agree that all that happened to him gives him an excuse to have an affair. And than go on to lie about it. I was a supporter of his. I shudder at the thought I was going to vote for him because I thought he was an honest family man. I was led to believe he stood by his sick wife. I thought that he was the man. How stupid I feel now for believing in him.
Rodney has a point, I often wonder, how many skeletons do these people really have hiding in their closets?
Thanks for the comment, Rodney. It's good to hear from someone who is more familiar with him than I after living in the states with them... similar to hearing from an Illinois resident about Barack Obama. I have heard that he lies on many occasions... like most/all politicians :(
And of course, crazybean, I don't consider his experiences as excuses for what he has done. Maybe they helped what came to pass along, if you know what I mean. He certainly still may have lied whether he lost a son or his wife had cancer or not, but I don't think they helped things, that's for sure. I couldn't even imagine what losing a child would be like, and concerns about cancer would immensely impact things most likely negatively.
If my memory serves, Edwards did only what 40-some percent of American husbands and 30-some percent of wives have done, including Clinton, Bush I, Johnson, Kennedy and Roosevelt. Reagan went through a messy Hollywod divorce or two, as I recall. I'm not saying this makes what Edwards did right, but I wonder how many of those who are casting stones have done the same thing themselves???
It's evident that you did a little check into the Edwards' family background and that's commendable, but your title and the theme of this hub are both off base in my opinion. The fact is I know the thoughts of a cheater because I have done it, and from my own experience, there is no bad day, no tragic memory or even insurmountable problem that can justify cheating. Edwards just like myself and many other past, present and future cheaters did it because it was something that he wanted to do. I regret and have paid my penitence for my wrongdoing and for that, I have been able to move on. John Edwards doesn't need or deserve anyone's sympathy now, but what he needs to have is a repentant heart.
You're right. I think I'll change the title; it doesn't correctly reflect my thoughts. Thanks, and thanks so much for your insight.
You're welcome and I hope I didn't come off as sounding harsh towards you. I have seen how badly cheating hurts the cheated and even the cheater so news like this tends to frustrate me.
Well, Ralph Deeds, one of thoe casting stones is Faux Noise (FOX News) pundit Bill O'Reilly, who allegedly had his own messy affair covered up in the past.
I have to say I am extremely disappointed in John Edwards, and I do not forgive him for cheating and lying about it. I am only now able to forgive Bill Clinton for his cheating, and I think that there is some part of the brain removed from politicians when they are elected to office.
That said, we do not elect saints to office, and each candidate comes with his or her own set of skeletons in the closet. I can only hope that Edwards finds a way to make all this better with his wife and family. As for me, I chalk it up to just another ego going wild.
rodney southern says:
16 months ago
Sorry, but I feel no sympathy for the man. I live in NC and have watched him lie for years, and it was always ignored. I am a fairly sympathetic man, but this is one of those things that needed to happen. Having been caught and revealed, now maybe Edwards can do something with his life that is honest. I wish him well, and hope that he is able to change. if you think that this affair is the only skeleton in his closet, then you are mistaken.
Excellent hub, however, and good job making us think about this scandal in a different light. Wonderful job