You Know you're a Blogger if Top Ten
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The difference between being a blogger and really being a blogger
You know you’re a blogger if is my version of the infamous you know you’re a redneck if. Jeff Foxworthy and I don’t have a lot in common, he’s a comedian turned game show host turned author who actually has his own page on amazon.com. I’m a freelance writer turned author turned blogger who has one book on one page on amazon.com. It would appear I have some catching up to do. One thing we do have in common is a slightly warped sense of humour. While Jeff takes jabs at rednecks I bump bloggers.
Bloggers, I’ve discovered, are a breed of their own with substantially different work habits, environments and attitudes than nine to fivers. Bloggers get up when they want, start work when they want, take a coffee break when they want, and take time off when they want. Bloggers don’t have to request a vacation hoping that someone with more seniority doesn’t grab their week resulting in having to visit their favourite holiday locale of HobokenNJ in the middle of January or Palm Desert CA in June.
Being a blogger allows one certain freedoms that would not be tolerated in the real world. For example you can wear pyjamas all day if you’re of a mind to. You don’t have to comb your hair until you happen to catch a glimpse of yourself and then you realize you haven’t brushed your teeth yet either. If you’re a female blogger there’s no need to apply make-up other than your own desire to do so. Pantyhose or heels aren’t necessities when you work from home. Men don’t have to don a tie unless, of course, it matches their boxers and then it becomes a fashion statement.
If a blogger wants to bathe mid morning or bask in the afternoon sun or stare out the window for 15 minutes just because you can, no one will say a word. Well, if the tie isn’t a fit for the boxers some neighbours may have an opinion the next time they chat to you over the fence. And ladies, if you’re expecting a delivery from a hunky UPS guy make sure the pyjamas are appropriate for the occasion, no flannel nighties.
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So without further ado
Bloggers’ mentalities are museful, demeanours are dauntless, their attitudes affable and ethnicity extensive. And yet a majority all possess some of the same quirks aforementioned. With that being said here are a few of the quirkiest quirks for your enjoyment. If they make you laugh out loud then my job was done well, if they make you grin slightly I’ll do better next time, but if they make you roll on the floor in a fit of hysterical laughter then my mission has been accomplished.
So without further ado I offer you my top ten you know you’re a blogger if…
If the dishwasher is full, hasn’t been turned on yet and there’s still dirty dishes in the sink you know you’re a blogger.
Or,
If the dishwasher is full, hasn’t been turned on yet and you buy paper plates and plastic utensils you really know you’re a blogger.
If you run out of clean pyjamas and can’t see the laundry basket for the overflowing mound of clothes you know you’re a blogger.
Or,
If you run out of clean pyjamas, can’t see the laundry basket for the overflowing mound of clothes and sit around naked all day you really know you’re a blogger.
If you look at the time on your computer and it reads 1pm but you swear it was only 8am five minutes ago you know you’re a blogger.
Or,
If you look at the time on your computer, but your eyes are too blurry to even see the time let alone read it you really know you’re a blogger.
If you start using outlook calendar to remind you to go to the bathroom you know you’re a blogger.
Or,
If you start wearing depends so you don’t have to go to the bathroom you really know you’re a blogger.
If you drive the kids to school in your housecoat and slippers you know you’re a blogger.
Or,
If you reach in your wallet and give the kids twenty bucks for a taxi you really know you’re a blogger.
If dinner consists of corn dogs and a lean cuisine that’s been in the freezer for two years you know you’re a blogger.
Or,
If there’s no fast food in the freezer, but there’s a can of your feline friend’s dinner in the cupboard that you’re actually contemplating eating you really know you’re a blogger.
If you turn on the computer before you turn on the coffee you know you’re a blogger.
Or,
If you turn on the computer before you turn on your spouse you really know you’re a blogger.
If you start to prefer cold coffee over hot you know you’re a blogger.
Or,
If you start to prefer a cold shoulder over hot sex you really know you’re a blogger.
If you use your avatar on Christmas cards instead of a family photo you know you’re a blogger.
Or,
If you use your avatar on Christmas cards because your family moved out you really know you’re a blogger.
If you email your spouse rather than get up from the computer to have a conversation you know you’re a blogger.
Or,
If you email your spouse because he followed through with the divorce and you want your alimony check you really know you’re a blogger.
One last thing… even though I would like to believe I’m smarter than a fifth grader I must admit I would probably drop out of school, take the money and run… I mean face the audience and admit that I wasn’t smarter than a fifth grader. What are they teaching children these days?
Footnote: without further ado Cliché without further talk. (An overworked phrase usually heard in public announcements.) I agree, but it was so fitting. Definition from http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/without+further+ado
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Comments
LOL, too funny. Does that apply to you or your dogs? Thanks for reading.
Ha,ha,ha very good my friend I enjoy your hub, thanks for sharing. creativeone59
Thanks creativeone59, I'm always glad to see your smiling face.
Carmen not only do you write great Hubs, I think we will really be great friends, and yes I did laugh outloud with my naked and ready husband beside me also asking what the UPS dropped off today! I am always in my best flannel P.j's unless I decide I wanna feel sexy then, its on with the lite cotton with the pretty little yellow flowers, my spring P.J's and any sort of coffee is fine with me Hot or Cold, just refuse to pay seven bucks for a cup.Thanks for the grins you are fantastic!
xxoo
gigi
Cherie
Hi Cherie, I'm glad it made you laugh. I look forward to our friendship. I think I'll go slip into my pile nightie, its chilly tonight. Good job with the typing! Thanks for stopping by.
Nice hub Carmen. Unfortunately I was able to answer yes to rather a few of those statements........
I have to laugh on the "hot s@x" part. Do bloggers really experience this? =) glad I'm not yet a full-pledged one then. Hmmmm, let's see, I didn't really answer yes to any of these things so I guess I'm not a blogger yet? :( glad though that we don't have divorce here so I can treat my husband like how a blogger treats her husband? :) j/k Nice, funny but 'realistic' hub =)
Thanks emievil. You're a blogger, its just for fun.
Catherine R I must admit to a yes for a couple myself.
Carmen, very clever and funny. :)
what an amazing hub as usual! I just couldn't stop laughing....ah, there's a blogger lurking within each of us - a little encouragement might send us over the edge! (yes, I do 'turn on the computer before my partner' and don't mind cold coffee either!) thanks for posting!
My goodness it can be a sickness, can't it? Excuse me, I better go do some laundry...
Thanks muyownworld for laughing with me. And Jess Killmenow are you boxers or briefs? LOL I acutally did all my laundry yesterday... ran out of PJs
Cute - very cute and how true - it's like eating a chip - you just can't quit with ONE!
Thanks for stopping by, it is addictive for certain.
The dishes really hit home. And I thought I was just lazy.
Here's another one: You know you're a blogger when the crumbs in the spaces of your keyboard could feed a third-world country.
Thanks abcd1111, that's a good one. I'll add it to my list.
Very funny! Sounds a little like someone in my home.....hmmmm
Hmmmm, could that someone be... let's see... you?
Not bad, and some did hit home even though I'm "barely" writing these days (until the new house is fit for occupancy). One question, though: What happens if you don't wear "pyjamas" (I think of those as "pajamas"; location, no doubt) and don't own a dishwasher?
We were definitely considering the cat food last summer when things were tighter than my Aunt Emma's spandex....
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it and hope you had a chuckle or two. Well, I'm Canadian don't ya know and that's how we spell it. There are 5 dictionary results for pyjamas, but only 4 for pajamas so I guess Canadians come out on top, ey? If you don't wear pyjamas then you'd best make certain your birthday suit is always clean and if you don't have a dishwasher then the dog's slackin' on his job. I had to fire a dog once just for that reason! Sounds as though Aunt Emma's a sexy lady! LOL You know what, I'd take cat food over Spam any day. Thanks for stopping by Ghost32 and I hope the house is fit real soon.
You surely made my day today!! Can't stop laughing!!
It does my heart good to make someone laugh, glad to have you as a fan and as soon as I'm done with Cagsil I'll join you. LOL
Hahaha. I loved this. I do not own a dishwasher, guess I'm old fashioned, but have found it is amazing how many plates can be stacked in the sink with a little care. I must however admit that I had not thought to wear a tie with the boxers, must give it a go. Please give us more hubs like this, does us all good to laugh at ourselves.
Thanks Paul, glad I made you chuckle! I'll post something else soon. Take care
Cute hub, LOL, well I guess I have to say, it looks like I'm on my way to joining the blogger club, because I've bought the paper plates :)
Haha, you just wait, there's more to come.
Hahahaha I can just imagine emailing everyone in the house to come down for dinner. :) Thanks for the laughter! :)
You're welcome, thanks for laughing!
Thanks for the morning chuckle.
Always happy to hear you chuckle.
Your job was done well, that was funny. I do fit some of those descriptions, but not all, however I'm on my way. You're good.
Thanks fastfreta, glad I made you laugh.
Carmen,
Really like the hub! soooooooooo funny.
God bless always,
believeinhim
Glad I could make you laugh! Thanks for dropping by.
I think this just about sums up everyone here at HP. The worst is when I spend a whole eight hours working, and have not written a thing.
I hear you Helen. I'll check emails, read and comment on hubs,find new hubbers I'm interested in following and before I know it its after lunch and I'm still in my red fleeces [a small step above pjs] not having finished the hub I started the previous day. Thanks for stopping by for a visit, call ahead next time and I'll make tea!
Carmen, really very good. LOL and nodding all the way through. Excuse me, gotta go start the coffee...
Maybe I am half a blog away from being a half a blogger even though I have been at it for years. I could relate to much of what you said but not the ease of withdrawing 20 bucks from my back pocket. Very funny, thank you. I needed cheering ;-)
I hear you with the 20 bucks, Peter LOL I'm happy to hear I cheered you. Thanks for the visit.
LOL You're too funny Duchess!
ROFL...You have done your job very well! Consider your mission accomplished. :D
Thanks k@ri, love it when I accomplish my mission!
This is my only break...reading your hub! Am i a blogger? LOL. thanks for the ice breaker.
You are more than welcome!
Carmen, you got me laughing and I write on much too serious topics to not stay focused. You have a good place to visit here and your take on blogging was comical. Got to get back now.
thanks for visiting lindagoffigan, glad to have created a chuckle.
LOL great hub, looking forward to reading more.
Thanks wolfpack, love the avatar.
You know your a blogger if your hands hurt from typing
You really know your a blogger if it results in an injury
Haha, good one, Drew! Thanks for stopping by and giving your hands a rest... oops, I guess that could me misconstrued...
This is so funny, Oh my goodness This is so me! lol Great hub!
Pssst...about the dishes thing...if ya put the plate and fork back in the fridge as soon as you finish eating, ya never have a messy sink and never have to run the dishwasher. Oh, and *if ya can't nuke it, ya can't cook it*, but be sure and take that coffee cup out first. ;D
This is good, puts a smile on the dial.
Look forward to reading more.
Its Angel - So glad I made you laugh... its a lot of me too! LOL
D... psst... put your glass in the freezer and keep a second cup in the fridge for soup. Thanks for dropping by.
kiwi gal - so glad to put a smile on your dial. Thanks.
take care my friends!
Carmen great hub. Glad that I found you too. I don't know if it is fortunate or not but I could say yes to a few of those.
I would never have imagined a few years ago that any of those would apply to me. I have been bitten a bit. Just to much fun.
I love your sense of humor and your little ideas too.
Angela James
Hi Angela, thanks for stopping by. I know what you mean about 'not imagining a few years ago', me too!
OY! i'm a blogger and i take showers...
Read my hub Writer Vs. Blogger
Rob
So do we, but I'll have to come up with one regarding that. LOL
Carmen lol
I guess then I am a Blogger. Great Hub
Thanks Drew and TrudyVan for dropping by, in some ways I think we can all slighty identify with at least one, even if we don't want to admit it.LOL
Ahhh the dream of the vagabonding lifestyle, travelling around the world and making a living off your blog. I would love to be able to do that, however, having been a blogger for over a year, I found it difficult to carry on with this lifestyle, it made me lazy and undisciplined. Originally I worked hard building links and my reputation, after a while I stopped putting the work in and my general overall lifestyle suffered. Now I'm going back to 9-5 to work in SEO
Thanks for stopping by, it isn't easy from what I hear, but some bloggers are making it. Good luck with your 9-5 work in SEO.
Carmen, this Hub is absolutely fantastic! I sat at my desk at work giggling like a school girl while reading this. My face hurts from smiling and laughing so much!
Hi Mocha Momma, thanks for your sentiments. Everytime I watch Peters I laugh almost until I cry!
Hi Carmen, This hub is sooo funny! I think we all have our blogging/writing rituals. I didn't realize that we have a lot of similarities. Sometimes, not in a good way... LOL! I think when we're trying to finish an article or a blog, it just gets too easy to forget the time. Writing/blogging can be so much fun. Great hub!
Hey allie, we do all have rituals and I think the most common one, with us girls at least is the PJ thing!
Carmen there is no denial that blogging is an addiction but its not madness. Bloggers are ordinary human beings though they may have few different habits. I know you have done this to make bloggers happy and give your hub a humorous touch. Writing is an art and you have mastered it as evident from your hub and your book three Trimesters. Now I've doubt whether I am a blogger or not as I don't fit here well.
Please don't say that, Prem. Of course you fit here, maybe not as defined in what I joke about, but you contribute greatly and I hope I didn't offend you. This hub was meant to make us laugh, although I do stay in my pyjamas most of the morning on some days.
Yep I am a blogger in some catagories...
shibashake says:
5 weeks ago
LOL - Fits lots of people who are addicted to the computer including online gamers.
As for dishes and paper plates - I just eat directly from the can or box. Very little effort, and no need to buy detergent or paper plates ;)