People everywhere are getting larger, fluffier, rounder and wider--including myself. As I sit here tonight and work on my many projects, I began thinking--dangerous, I know--about how I got to the size that I am. Now I know there are bigger people out there than me, but I don't want to end up like the guy who can't find his...well, you get the idea. So if you are unsure if you need to lose weight, THINK you are healthy or are just plain and simply in denial, I have created a check list. I am speaking from experience, I am not a doctor, but I think that this might help some of you out there who are struggling with weight.

You know you're fat when....

10) Your pants from 1 year ago a snug around the mid-section.

9) Your belly sticks out from under your shirt.

8) You can balance a plate on your stomach.

7) You get excited when someone mentions breakfast, lunch or dinner--or all three.

6) You can't wait to get home and unwrap your new box of Twinkies.

5) Your family has pad-locked the fridge.

4) You dream about Little-Debbie's.

3) Your friends have nick-named you fat-tire.

2) You sweat when you eat--not spicy food, but food in general.

1) You come up gasping for air after tying your shoe laces.

These are 10 simple ways to tell if your rotunda has exceeded its desired size. If you are experiencing any of these 10 "symptoms" I suggest you buy some elasticated pants and hop on your local treadmill. Remember, in the case it's not size that matter..unless your loved ones can't wrap their arms around your over-sized, pudgy exterior.

Comments appreciated.