Men Stay Married Longer with Much Younger Wives
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British report released recently stated that a wife five years younger than the husband would insure a longer marriage. The experts are saying that if couples would be more objective about their selection of mates, the divorce rate would decrease and marriages will last longer.
This subject of younger wives insuring longer marriages is open to debate because a lot of marriages have crumbled when the husband finds a younger woman. The long term wife has this younger woman situation at her back door all of the time. America is obsessed with youthfulness and staying in good health but not necessarily to ward off the younger woman. The release of such a report however is making it a fact that older men likes the younger woman better as a basis for the longer marriage.
Subjective things such as love, shared experiences, like interests and compatibility are not to be put on a lower level than age differences. However, a report of 1,500 couples was done in England that produced marriages lasting longer when the wife was at least five years younger than the husband.
There was no reasoning for the longevity of the marriage and the reader can come to their own conclusion of why those younger women and older men marriages lasted. One may speculate that the younger woman posed less of a power struggle in the relationship as the older man would have been viewed as the one with the final word on major decisions. Any number of reasons could be supplied for the result of this report. The older man may seem less threatened in the relationship because of his maturity. Although you would think that five years difference really does not make that much of a difference in maturity when making important decisions.
May men view the older woman as being more authoritative and think that the relationship would have less arguments with a younger wife. Most of the time, the man in the relationship is a few years older than the woman and the divorce rate is still climbing. So the five year difference in age seem to have no bearing on the longevity of the marriage as it stands now. A person should not forfeit a relationship because the woman is five years older either because there is too much subjectivity involved in building a maintaining a lasting relationship.
Maturity levels are subjective as well and it has been said that women mature faster than men intellectually. That would mean that a woman that is five years younger than a man may be on the same level of maturity. Again, that supposition has not been proven and is only an opinion of why marriages are said to last longer when the woman is five years younger than a man.
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Of course, the study was made by..men hahaha. They are way off track. Young men have always loved to be with an older woman only it was hidden. If you make a study waaaaaaaay back in history-you would be amazed how many older women had younger guys and lovers too.
I have always loved younger men, so I know what I am talking about. I'm not interested in older men..why..this is what older men say about me..first..that I am too beautiful and thus afraid that I would be taken away..secondly..that I am too sexual and sensous and that I would probably kill them on our wedding nite hahah and that they wouldn't be able to keep up with me sexually. Thirdly, that I am too intelligent..surprised? Not so, men like to be the boss and thus a woman that is a leader and doesn't need a man to hammer a nail in the wall to hang up a picture, doesn't interest them, they want a dependent woman so that they feel..useful.
I'm 66 and it is still the same problem. I'm too beautiful and too smart and I can change the wipers of my car without asking a man to do..which I did yesterday..lol..I am Master Mechanic's Daughter and first born..so I spent alot of my youth in the garage, was taught to drive starting at 6 and at 15 I had my own convertable and could repair my car myself..the only thing I wasn't able to do was take the motor out of the car.
I am good at almost anything. I was born gifted to be ambidex..using my both hands..I never know my left from my right..lol..the one thing am not good at is maths..so figuring out things on the computor is a glitz for me..sighhhh..but I was a ace in algebra..go figger that one.
Since I was first born I was looked up to in the family and tthe responsible one, therefore, I became a leader and independent. I get the jitters talking in front of 3 people, but put me in front of a huge crowd and I am in heaven. I sing, compose, write poetry, conference speaker, was a talent agent, actress, singer, choeographer, business oowner, painter..name it..I have probably done it..lollllllll and I find solutions to everything.
Now, I decided to become a recognized painter and I have a
pair of jeans that I love and fit me well, but were getting uused..I didn't want to throw them out..so I took our my
paint brushes and since am a aboriginal..Anishnaabe..I
painted on one leg..the tree of life..underneath I put a
wolf and drew a pond..on the other leg I drew a deer and drew under the deer a moose which looks as if the moose is
supporting the deer..then at the bottom of the pants I drew i in front and back..buffalo..and all around the waist I
drew buffalo which looks like they are all walking in a row aaround my waist to the front pockets..then on the seams I
drew small teepees with a red dot for the doorway..
I wore them to see what people would thing and everybody
would come and ask me if I did my jeans. I showed them to a ffriend on the internet in France. She fell in love with my
drawings on my jeans and said she was going to go to spain
to her daughter's to get her jeans and send them to me so
that I do the same for her..she talked to it to her son and
he loved the idea so much that he sent his jeans to me and
am doing them... he is going to wear them and wants to
start a business with this. In France at the moment it is a
big style to wear jeans with designs..but no one would have
real original drawings by a real artist..and signed..so the
jeans would become a value and when they don't want to wear tthem anymore, they can cut out the design..frame it and
put it up on their wall..now that is original..
I also when I send letters, paint the envelope and put my
MJC signature..I make the MM like a teepee..the J like a feather and the C as if on fire..lol..I tell people..keep the envelopes as once I am recognized..the envelope is considered a painting and will be worth alot and more so when I die.
I can cook a gourmet meal and never went to cooking school, I can hunt, fish, live in the forest, canoe, ..well there isn't much I cannot do because my parents always told me to uuse all my talents, to learn everything while I am young
so when am old I will be able to use a talent for my old
days and make money as my mother was way ahead of her times, she said that in my generation ..pension plans will
probably not exist or cease..which is seemingly coming true.
So do you think a man wants a woman like me? Of course not, II'm all intriguing at the begining but a man really wants a woman that isn't too smart and can't drive a nail in the
wall and is completely dependent on him for money..why?
Because he likes to feel the big hunter..he likes to chase
his game and wants his woman to be the ever deer he has
been hunting and never been able to get.
I had an uncle who went year after year to get that one
moose the he could never get and no other hunter either..well, my uncle died the moose lived on but he
neglected my aunt and gave her a miserable life because
she wasn't like the moose.
Oh..I know ..men will say what I say isn't true..trust me,
I'm never wrong..why? Because I never talk about anything
that I haven't experienced.
Men love to chase me but once they see how smart, gifted I
am and won't have sex before marriage..they are gone on
another forest to hunt one who isn't so smart, gifted and
wdoesn't have too many principales..especially the one about
not having sex without the benefit of marriage.
The only reason a marriage lasts longer is because they
tolerate each other and one is submissive to the other. I
see it in my own family..they fight, they bicker, etc etc
but they stay together anyway. I don't listen to my son and daughter-in-law when they call to complain about each other.
So I say..when you going to divorce? That shuts them up and
they continue fighting..to the point that my x that is
living with them wants to leave. They will last until one
dies. Because one is submissive..my daughter-in-law..she is
the one that gives in finally. She is a fantastic woman and
my two daughter-in-laws adore me..because I mind my own
business and I will give my son or her a talking too if one
or the other is in the wrong..they love that about me. I am
in contact with them everyday..we spend time together and
have a great time. Yep..am not the mother-in-law that is portrayed..actually we laugh and say..we should go on t.v.
as I am one of a kind. Mother-in-law that is adored by the
daughters -in-law! Now that is something!
I love being a who I am. God gave us as a companion and
partner for man..but we are made in God's image and thus
man and women are equal..no where it is written that men
are above women. On the contrary, they will have to answer
to God on judgement day on how they took care or didn't
of their household as God holds the man responsible if the
family doesn't work out. Aha..men probably don't know that
and won't tell women that because it could be used against
them..but it will when Judgement Day comes.
Too bad men put a number as a priority to have a woman..so
when someone asks me my age..I say .."why you want to know?
Do you want to marry me? No? Then my age is an unlisted
number! " hahahaha.
Men want a younger wife..the reason also..a trophy wife.
Trsmd, thank you for your comment. To answer your question about whether or not the elderly gentlemen is the grandpa, look at where is right hand is.
DancingRedFeather, thank you for your comment.
Oh my gosh, that's a lot of spewing. The problem with drawing conclusions based upon experience and experience alone is that there is a good likelihood that this person directly influenced the experience. This is what I strongly suspect happened with the lovely DancingRedFeather.
They were initially drawn to her because she's beautiful, captivated because she's sexual and sensuous, attentive because she's intelligent (yes, men like intelligent women, far more than not), but then the more they got to know her they realized…
She loves to talk
She loves to talk about herself
She loves to talk about how wonderful she is in every regard
She insults men by thinking they follow the outdated male stereotypes - that they want a woman who isn't too smart, who can't swing a hammer, who depends upon him for money, etc.
Men hate games, and so they really do not want to have to "be the hunter." They also hate drama, and they can't stomach women riddled with "issues."
There are so many wrong speculations and comments in this hub, it caused my head to spin.
"One may speculate that the younger woman posed less of a power struggle in the relationship as the older man would have been viewed as the one with the final word on major decisions."
This is a major insult to women. This suggests that a 35-year-old woman (to his 40) always capitulates to the man's "power" giving him the final word. Hogwash! Younger women are just as strong and mentally capable as an older man.
And doesn't that "women mature earlier than men" statement apply only to kids?
How many 50-year-old guys are more mature than their 45-year-old wives? Or even 40? They're not. So, suggesting that a man feels "less threatened in the relationship because of his maturity" is also quite silly.
Older women are more authoritative while younger women argue less? Do people really believe that age is what determines a woman's personality, that she changes from a diminutive-agrees-with-everything person to an authoritative woman depending on if she's with an older man or not?
This is such an obvious conclusion. I'd like to know who funded this study. Of course men like younger women. And the reason why they like younger women is because they like women with a little life, a little spunk, someone who doesn't just sit around and waste her life away, and, especially, they like women who can engage and carry a conversation and remain interesting, i.e. INTELLIGENT.
And they like beauty, sex, passion, and youth. But ultimately, the reason they like youth is not about looks, it's about HEALTH and energy. Men like younger women because they are often as healthy or healthier than them. (And no, they don't want someone who can push him around in a wheelchair when he gets old and feeble.)
This is the reason for all the examples of older women being liked by men. The actual age isn't important. What's important is if she takes care of herself, if she's healthy, vibrant, and alive; and is not a negative, problem-riddled pain in the tush.
So, what the study actually concluded was that marriages last when the woman lives, acts, and appears as though she's five years younger than the male. THAT is what needs to be stated.
One more thing that I must comment on:
DancingRedFeather mentioned something about no sex before marriage which caused men to run away. This has nothing to do with men wanting a woman without morals. Instead, this raises all kinds of flags and questions. There are many aspects of a healthy marriage and one of these is sex. One should not expect the other to be satisfied with a marriage with some of these aspects missing, and so it simply leaves too many unknowns in a person to be able to commit forever.
So, I'm sorry to tell you DancingRedFeather, those men didn't run away from you because of all your good qualities. Those sounded wonderful! They ran away because of the bad qualities that you seem to think you do not possess. And I apologize for putting DRF on the spot, but she kind of offered herself up by providing such an extended biography.
I digress, so allow me to summarize: It's not about age. It's about making a real effort to care about yourself, to be healthy, and to enjoy life.
Rob, thank you for your comment.
Your comment seemed directed to DancingRedFeather instead of to the article: "Younger Wives Makes for Longer Marriage." It is as though I am responding to a thesis and your comments are much appreciated.
I do, however, take issue to the maturity level between men and women, the article being called "silly" and doubt about the conclusive study done on the British report. 1,500 couples were used in the study, I do not have the back link and will optimize the article in the near future for documentation purposes.
The maturity level of women and men are said to level off after the teenage years but report is a sampling and the sampling indicates that men are selecting younger women and these mariage are sustaining. The article may be opinionated but it is not silly.
Your comments sound as though coming from a mature man who is stoic in his opinion and thinks that health and vitality is the major reason for older men mating with younger women. This is a new day as you told DRF and older women are viewed with the same gusto and vitality of their younger counterparts.
Some of these women however are stuck in the past when it comes to being assertive in asking a man out of any age to start a relationship. That scenario leaves the older gentlemen with the tenacity to select and choose or "hunt" for a younger woman.
His reasons for selecting the younger woman is varied. The report will provide more details about the results that a marriage last longer when the wife is younger once backlinked. I think that the findings deals with a lot more than health and wanting to enjoy life as you suggested.
The playing field has been leveled and some women are seeking younger men. This is a new cultural change and although a hub has been written on it there was not a conclusive study done with representative participants. That is the topic of another hub.
Trsmd says:
5 weeks ago
that girl in her grandpa lap?