Sex: should I do it? Teenagers are not equipped mentally to make such an important decision, yet most are wrestling with this inner conflict on a day to day basis, mostly due to social pressures. Having to ponder the question first means that the answer should be a resounding no, however, the lessons learned from dealing with questions about sex are an integral part in shaping our identity. These questions are not always about the self either, our opinions of the sexual antics of others mould our beliefs on the subject, and these opinions generally remain with us into adulthood.

Sexual decision making and logical thinking do not always go hand in hand; listen to the conversations of most teenagers and this conclusion soon becomes apparent. The point is often argued though, especially when there are contributing factors such as religion thrown into the mix. The human mind is a complex mechanism which uses the input of countless variables to make decisions; one variable in the sexual decision making process is religion. Not having been raised in any particular religion myself, one would assume that the decision to have sex or not would have been made so much easier. However, like most teenagers, I do not remember anything about my adolescence or finding my place in society being uncomplicated at all.

 Whether to have sex or not is a basic process of answering "no" for some teens with a strict religious upbringing; for others it may be the hedonist way of thinking that rules the moment when teenagers enter into a sexual relationship purely for the fun of doing so, or to make a good impression on their peers. So many variables are quietly at work when it comes to teens and sex that it is hard to predict with any accuracy what one's child may be doing outside the home and without adult supervision.

Ethical relativism was my common sense approach, however, because I was not ready to have sex to become the popular girl in school, and because no situation presented itself in which I felt comfortable doing so without the possibility of having regrets. What worked well for me at the time though, was not working for some of my friends who later became pregnant and had to leave school. Much to the horror of their families and their Church, this particular group of friends was, ironically, the same people who preached abstinence directly in the face of their shameless peers. 

My logic has not changed much over the years; I always had the future in mind when I thought I was ready to choose a mate. Short term relationships do not entice me whatsoever, and I am still at a loss as to why some people can be so casual about sex, and still make reference to love and commitment. In my opinion, a casual sexual relationship has no element of love at all, and the terms "commitment" and "casual sex" just do not belong in the same sentence.

I am 45 years old now, and consider myself open-minded, but this is an opinion I have always harbored; perhaps I was born in the wrong era. My ideal vision of family takes me on a mental journey to the post-depression years, with lots of children underfoot, an extended family that includes grandparents living under the same roof, and no frills aside from a monogamous commitment from my mate. One only has to watch any channel on television to know that this way of life has been left behind with button-up boots.                             Continue To Part 2