Your goals and the person you have fallen in love with - not in alignment? A New Earth Discussion, Part 16

When your goals and the person you have fallen in love with appear to not be in alignment. A New Earth Discussion, Part 16

Do you know what your inner purpose it? Your outer purpose? The difference? Knowing the answers to these three questions is important in how we live our daily lives, and isn’t that what’s important? I agree with Tolle that your outer purpose is ‘relative, unstable, and impermanent.’

How To Find True Love

Tolle says that you should connect your goals to your inner purpose and a deeper meaning will flow into what you do. So what is inner and outer purpose?

Inner purpose – what you are all about, the essence of you, you boiled down to a spiritual level without ego. Tolle calls it the beingness of you. So what does that mean? To Tolle it means being in the present moment and having it be the focus, the purpose of your life. Because it is only in the present moment that you can access the ‘power of life itself.’ Some call this power Spirit or God.

Outer purpose – You outer purpose is who the human you is all about being by becoming. Purpose has goals, intentions, actions and in our human life consequences which generally occur in the future. Tolle suggests that we can become so focused on the future consequences – good or bad – that we forget to be, to be in the present moment where we live our lives.

Tolle gives an example of what is our purpose of walking across the room to get something. Our outer purpose is to get the thing. Our inner purpose is to be in the present moment doing whatever we are doing. In this case, it is simply walking across the room.

Disillusionment, discouragement, despair, uncertainly, confusion… need I go on.

Courting is a time when we take time to discover if the other person is in alignment with our inner self, our inner purpose, who we really are – your irresistible definition of true love.

I suggest that you want to discover your irresistible definition of true love before you commit to another person. If I put this in Tolle’s terms, I would say infuse your outer purpose of wanting a long-term, committed relationship with the essence of you. And, to discover the essence of you, which is a part of your inner purpose, you have to discover your irresistible definition of true love.

When you discover that the other person is not in alignment with your irresistible definition of true love, the real you, the essence of who you really are, I would ask you if you want to spend the rest of your life out of alignment?

Many women will say but I love ‘em and we can make it work. Well if you want to make your relationship work, you can. There is more than one person in the world for you. But your true love relationship is one place where you don't want to settle, or you'll pay with your happiness and a lot of hard work.

What does it have to do with my inner purpose? You might ask. Everything.

Discovering your irresistible definition of true love is all about discovering the inner person that you are which is the first step in discovering your inner purpose. An awareness of what’s important to you in a true love relationship is a window into what’s important to you as a human being and as a spiritual being. You will be working on the level of values, what’s important to you, what has meaning to you. And the key words in the previous sentence are ‘to you.’

In a sense, you are saying ‘I don’t’ care what anyone else in the world thinks – all I care about is what I think, feel, value, hold dear, and care about.' Now, you ego might tell you that if you focus on these things you will become selfish. No, you will become self-aware.

Self-awareness is the beginning of awareness of your soul, your energy, your connection to the universe, your spiritual energy, your essence, spirit within you – your beingness.

Tolle says that as long as you are unaware of your ‘being,’ you will not really live in the now. You will live in an ego-based, future-based, goal-oriented, I’ll be happen when… state of mind.

And, the reality is that you have to be somewhat vigilant because your ego will want to creep back in and take over by rehashing the past or future tripping. Both of these ego-states keep you out of the moment.

Now, what about goals and planning and desires for a new house or a new car or a better life? Tolle tells us that these are okay purposes/goals because we do live on earth. He also tells us that if we align our outer purposes with our inner purpose, if we make our inner purpose primary that we will be able to live in alignment with the spiritual nature of the universe. Our daily aims and intentions will be charged with a spiritual power.

You hear people saying ‘It was easy. Things just fell into place.’ These people outer purpose was guided by their inner purpose. This congruence allowed the imbuing of that universal spiritual energy into their actions which makes the process appear seamless.

I would like to clarify one thing. It doesn’t mean that the process in general wasn’t difficult in the sense that it might have had a lot of steps or a lot of obstacles to overcome. I believe what people are saying is not that what they accomplished was easy in the sense of there were not obstacles or hard times or frustrating times. What they are saying is that even navigating the obstacles seemed like the path was lubricated in a manner of speaking. This is a hard concept to verbalize.

I have in the past mis-interpreted easy to mean no problems, to mean handed to them on a silver platter without very much work. This is very wrong. People work hard to achieve great goals. We see actors and actresses all smiles as they enter award ceremonies. They had to work hard to look natural being someone else in a movie. It looks so natural and easy. I have to keep reminding myself the people have natural inclinations and the ones who rise to the top work hard to develop their God-given talents.

Discover your irresistible definition of true love. Discover your inner purpose. Discover yourself. Be selfish in these areas. Because when you discover yourself – you can shine your light in the world for all the rest of us to bask in your warmth.

So what if your current love is not in alignment with your desires? The real question is – are they in alignment with the primary purpose of your life? Once you answer this question, you will know if your current love is possibly your true heart’s desire and your won’t have the first question.