Nothing Exceeds Like Excess: Boss Hoss

If you're the kind of guy who looks at a Kawasaki 2000 cc Vulcan and wishes it had a little bit more thump, or checks out the 2300 cc Triumph Rocket III and thinks it's wimpy, then there is only one choice to satisfy your insane cravings for (as Tim Allen puts it) MORE POWER!

Boss Hoss offers two basic variants which will be right up your alley. There's the "Small" or "Entry Level" Hoss with a "tiny" 350 cubic-inch Chevy eight-cylinder small block, yes, the same engine that's been powering Chevrolets such as the Camaro for decades shoehorned into a motorcycle chassis. The $38,000 350 puts out an approximate 355 horsepower at 5,200 rpm. Torque provides planet-turning rotation at 405 lb-ft.

However, "real" Boss Hossers look upon the 350 ci riders the way that "Big Twin" Harley riders consider Sportster riders. It's good that they're on my brand, and maybe some day they'll grow up and ride a real bike.

The "real" Boss Hoss is blessed with a 502 ci eight-cylinder big block generating one horsepower per cubic inch for a tidy 502 hp. Torque is up in the Kenworth range at 567 lb-ft.

Let's take the biggest motorcycle (or at least the biggest one with a motorcycle engine) in the world as a comparison. The Triumph Rocket III generates 140 hp and 147 lb-ft. of torque from its three cylinder 140 ci engine. The Boss Hoss 502 makes it look like a moped.

However, a $45,000 Boss Hoss 502 is only a clean sheet of drafting paper for some power-hungry freakizoids. The 502 in the bike will take any hop-up hardware that the same engine will take in a race car, thus you have the prospects of bored and stroked, hot-cammed, turbo-super-charged, and even nitrous Boss Hosses. One particularly modified 502 is reputed to generate one thousand horsepower. That's the same horsepower as two and a half 2007 Corvettes. And you get to deal with all that power balancing on two wheels. Well, at least the owner does. You wouldn't catch me dropping the clutch at a green light on that behemoth!

Actually, the Boss doesn't have a clutch, but it does have a two-gear automatic transmission. First gear is perfectly good up until 75 or 80 mph, so you can just imagine what second gear will do.

When it comes time to hit the binders, you'll be thankful that the Boss comes equipped with dual rotors and four-piston calipers up front and a single rotor with a four-piston caliper on the back, all 12.6 inches in diameter. Although it's difficult to gauge how the stop matches the go on this rocketship.

Although I can certainly appreciate the appeal of having 500+ horsepower between your legs, I don't feel I have to "compensate for other shortcomings" so I don't stay awake at night drooling of a Boss Hoss in my garage. Sour grapes? Maybe. But I just can't see myself cracking the throttle, getting 500 horses sideways and trying to maneouver the 1,100 lbs. of hurtling metal back onto a straight line. Those are "thrills" I'll gladly leave to other, wilder riders!