Agoraphobia and emerging from my fear! I never thought I'd see the outside of my house again, seriously.

Several years ago I started having panic attacks while I was driving. Soon after the panic attacks came over me in places I've always gone, Target, Cub, soccer games, dance events, school conferences. I was so fearful of leaving the house, that I didn't. It affected my life in every way. I wasn't able to take my son to friends homes, I was afraid to watch my daughter compete at dance competitions, I was afraid to do the simple task of grocery shopping.

Agoraphobia Symptoms are generally defined as being panicked in situations that you cannot escape.  Such as a bus, train, airplane or in my case the car. Panicking while standing in line or being in a crowd can also be a symptom. Many people who experience this panic choose to avoid the panic and stay where they feel safe, for me it was at home.

Agoraphobia Treatment

I finally sought out professional help and was told I was Agoraphobic, me, the social butterfly? I was scared. After several months of treating agoraphobia through therapy and reprogramming my brain to do baby steps, I was finally able to do small things. Go into the grocery story with my husband with a small list, watch my daughter compete as long as I sat right by the entrance to the gym, watch my son's band concert, again, sitting as close to a door as possible.  As my agoraphobia therapy continued, I was able to do more and more.  The key was to do it every single day.  I had to walk around the block by myself.

A Maui Vacation?

Maui - the true test. About two months prior to our Christmas trip to Maui, I relapsed. Petrified to get on a plane. What if I panicked? Who would help me? Excuse me, this was the biggest trip of my lifetime and I was ready to stay home! So I went through day treatment at Abbot Northwestern in Minneapolis for 10 days. They helped me immensely and treated me with more anxiety medications. I made it to Maui - once there, I stayed pretty close to the condo - but it was beautiful! The ocean became my solitude and I use the images daily for meditation.

High School Graduation?!?

The next BIG test, my daughter's High School Graduation at Northrup Auditorium on the University of Minnesota campus. For two weeks prior to the graduation, I was sure I wouldn't make it there. With positive self talk, an increase in the anxiety medication, I made it - I watched my daughter walk across that stage. Not only that - I also made it to the all night party afterwords as a chaperon.

I still struggle, I am still not driving, but I have made great steps toward my recovery. If you suffer from Agoraphobia and panic attacks, I assure you, recovery is at the end of the road. Take baby steps, learn breathing techniques, meditate, and the most powerful for me, PRAYER!

Jane

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