DO YOU HAVE STRANGE FEELINGS TOWARDS SOME OF YOUR FRINDS? YOUR GUY FRIENDS?

ARE YOU NOT REALLY SURE IF YOU LOVE YOUR GIRLFRIEND OR IF YOU JUST LIKE HER BECAUSE SHE'S PERFECT AND YOU SHOULD LIKE HER?

WELL HERE ARE SOME POINTERS AND TELL-TALE SIGNS THAT YOUR NOT JUST CURIOUS...

READ ON

WHEN I WAS 13 I REALIZED I HAD SOME INTENTIONS WITH MYSELF BUT I LIKE ALL MEN KNOWING THEIR FATHERS WOULD KILL THEM DIDNT ACKNOWLEGE THIS. SO I DID THINGS THAT MADE ME FEEL MANLY, LIKE HANG OUT WITH MY FRIEND JACKIE. JACKIE WAS A YEAR YOUNGER THEN ME AND I LIKED HER BUT I REALLY LIKED SEEING HER AND HER CHEERLEADING FRIENDS PRACTICE OUTSIDE IN THE FRONT YARD. IT REALLY WASNT THE SIGHT OF WOMEN WAKING AROUND BUT THE FACT THAT THIS SPORT LOOKED SO MUCH FUN!

EVENTUALLY AFTER DOING CHEERLEADING IN THE FRONT YARD (WHICH WAS PROBABLY THE MOST GAY THING ID EVER DONE UP TO THAT POINT). I BECAME ONE OF THEM WITH A SIMPLE INVITE TO A PRACTICE TO THIS SOMEWHAT OKAY SPORT. EVENTUALLY I FOUND THAT I LIKED IT AND HAD A NATURAL KNACK FOR TUMBLING. BUT THE SENSATION THAT I LIKED THE MOST WAS THE FACT THAT I COULD WALK THROUGH THE SCHOOL AND GET LOOKED AT LIKE I WAS A "HOMO". ITS NOT THE THOUGHT OF BEING AN OUTSIDER, NO IT WAS THE THOUGHT OF BEING LOOKED AT BY ALL THE GUYS IN THE SCHOOL ALMOST BEING ENVIED. THIS WAS A NEW FEELING FOR ME AND I REALLY WAS AROUSED BY THE FACT THAT ALL THESE STRAIGHT GUYS WERE GIVING ME THE ATTENTION, NOT WHAT I WANTED, BUT THE ATTENTION.

STILL I PLAYED THE PART LIKE I WAS THE BIGGEST GUY IN THE WORLD CAUSE I WAS HANGING AROUND ALL THE CHEERLEADERS IN THE SCHOOL, AND HAD THE BEST GIRLFRIEND THERE WAS. DONT GET ME WRONG IM NOT AN UGLY GUY, NO I ACTUALLY BEFORE THE WHOLE CHEER THING HAD BEEN ASKED TIME AND TIME AGAIN IF I WAS GAY JUST CAUSE OF THE APPEARANCE I HAD, GAVE PEOPLE THE IMPRESSION THAT I WAS GAY.

BUT EVENTUALLY MY RELATIONSHIPS FAILED AND I BECAME WEARY AND WANTY. FEELING LIKE I COULDNT GET WHAT I WANTED. BY THIS TIME I WAS A FRESHMAN IN HIGH SCHOOL DOING MY THING STILL LOOKING GOOD FOR A YOUNG "CHEERLEADER". THEN ONE NIGHT UNEXPECTEDLY MY COACH ASKED ME TO STAY AFTER PRACTICE TO WORK ON MY STRETCHING. I KNEW THAT MY SKILLS IN TUMBLEING WERE IMPECEBLE BUT I NEEDED TO REACH MY POTENTIAL WITH MY AEROBICS AND LIMBERNESS. SO WITHOUT HESITATION I ACCEPTED THIS INVITATION WITH MY COACH. SO NIGHT AFTER NIGHT WHEN PRACTICES WERE OVER I STAYED WITH MY COACH STRETCHING MAKING SURE I COULD GET MY LIMBERNESS IN CHECK. SO IT PERSISTED DAY IN AND OUT TILL ONE NIGHT HE THREW A PAIR OF MALE CHEER SHORTS AT ME. A TAD SMALL I DIDNT MIND BECAUSE I HAD SPANDEX ON UNDER MY OWN, BUT HIS REQUEST WAS TO REMOVE ALL CLOTHING AND ONLY PUT THOSE SHORTS ON. THE REQUEST SEEMED TO ARROUSE ME, I HAD A FEELING SOMETHING WAS GOING TO HAPPEN AND YET I DIDNT PAY ATTENTION TO ANYTHING. HE SAID HE WANTED TO GIVE MY BODY A FULL THEREPUTICAL MASSAGE BUT I KNEW WHAT HE REALLY HAD IN MIND. HE WAS GAY, A HOMOSEXUAL AND I KNEW THAT THIS KIND OF BADNESS ARROUSED ME IN YET SOME STRANGE WAY I FELT THAT I WANTED IT TO HAPPEN, WHATEVER WAS GOING TO HAPPEN.

HE WAS GENTLE ONLY PERFORMING ORAL SEX ON ME AND MASKING THE BEGINNING OF THE "SESSION" WITH A SOMEWHAT BRIEF BUT BABY OILED MASSAGE. BEFORE I KNEW IT THE DIRTY DEED HAD BEEN DONE. INSIDE I FELT GOOD, IN THE MOMENT. BUT AFTERWARD MY CONSIENCE MADE ME FEEL LIKE I COMMITTED THE WORST SIN IN THE WORLD. EVENTUALLY I FOUND MYSELF BECOMING ANGRY THAT IT HAPPENED. AS LITTLE THE DEED AS IT WAS MY MORALS STARTED TO PLAY ON MY MIND MAKING ME FEEL BAD EVERY DAY THAT WENT ON. I FELT AS IF I WAS GAY FOR DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND I NEEDED TO FIND OUT IF I WAS.

EVENTUALLY AS TIME PASSED I QUIT THE GYM I WAS GOING TO, TO ESCAPE THE FEELING OF THE WATCHING EYES OF MY COACH AND JOINED ANOTHER. I CAME TO FIND OUT THAT THIS WASNT THE FIRST ENCOUNTER WITH A BOY THAT THIS COACH HAD COME INTO CONTACT WITH. BUT NONE HAD EVER SPOKEN OUT AND ALL SEEMED PRETTY STRAIGHT TO ME. SO AS THE YEARS WENT ON I BEGAIN TO REALIZE MY SEXUALITY AND BECOME MORE COMFORTABLE WITH MYSELF. I GOT ORAL ABOUT 3-4 TIMES AFTER THAT AND ENJOYED DOGGING A MAN OUT TO MY NEEDS AND THROWING THEM AWAY. A FEAT I COULD NEVER DO TO A WOMAN BECAUSE OF MY INHABILITY TO BE A STRAIGHT "BUTTHEAD" WITH THEM. BUT AFTER A WHILE I DECIDED TO PUT DOWN MY NEEDS AND TRY TO FLY STRAIGHT. AS YEARS WENT ON I BEGAIN TO CRAVE THE MALE ANATOMY AND FOUND MYSELF WANTING TO PERFORM WHAT HAD BEEN DONE ON ME TO OTHERS, AND SO I MET A HANSOME YOUNG MAN ABOUT MY AGE AND HEIGHT VERY CLEAN TO ALLOW THIS TO BE MY VERY FIRST AND WA-LA I FOUND THAT I LIKED THIS AND WAS ACTUALLY VERY GOOD. THIS ONLY ADDED TO MY SEXUAL DRIVE MAKING ME WANT MORE AND MORE EVERY DAY FROM THE SAME SEX. EVENTUALLY I CAME TO TERMS WITH MYSELF BY MY SENIOR YEAR AND STARTED ON THE PATH OF HOMOSEXUALITY. BUT I COULD NOT DARE TELL MY FATHER OR FAMILY AND DISCRACE THEM THE WAY AS TO BEING A "HOMO". SO I STAYED IN DORMANT SOME FRIENDS WOULD TELL ME I WAS SO FAR IN THE CLOSET I WAS IN NARNIA MAKING FUN AND TELLING ME I NEEDED TO GET IT OVER WITH AND COME OUT OF THE CLOSET ALREADY. BUT I WASNT READY TO DO SUCH A FEAT TO MY FAMILY. YOU REALLY JUST HAVE TO WAIT TILL THE RIGHT MOMENT TO MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN HANDLE WHATEVER IS GOING TO COME AT YOU FROM ALL ANGLES.

LIKE ALL THINGS THAT ARE PLANNED THIS DID NOT GO RIGHT. ONE DAY WHILE ME AND MY BOYFRIEND WERE AT THE HOUSE "STUDYING" MY FATHER WALKED UP AND ON US DOING OUR "LESSONS IN THE MALE BODY". HE CAUGHT ME DOING SOMETHING THAT ALMOST MADE HIM CRENCH. HE GRABBED MY BOYFRIEND AND TOSSED HIM OUT ON THE LAWN NAKED, OF COURSE I TOSSED HIM HIS CLOTHES BUT THE NEIGHBORS SAW OUR BUISSNESS. SO THERE IT WAS RIGHT ON THE TABLE FOR MY FAMILY TO BE WHAT I DID NOT WANT THEM TO BE. DISRESPECTED. SO AS THE YEAR WENT ON AND MY FATHER RESENTED ME MORE AND MORE IT EVENTUALLY DRIFTED OFF, AND FINNALLY IT WORE AWAY. IT TOOK A WHOLE YEAR, A YEAR I WASNT READY FOR! BUT IT EVENTUALLY WORE AWAY THROUGH ALOT OF HEART ACHE AND PRESSURE BUT I MADE IT AND TODAY I BELIEVE THAT I AM HAPPY. IF ID OF DONE THINGS QUICKER I THINK IT WOULD HAD BEEN WORSE. SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO STOP THINK WHAT YOU WANT GO FOR IT AND IF ITS SOMETHING YOU DONT WANT MANY PEOPLE KNOWING YOU HAVE TO GIVE IT SOME TIME TO SINK IN SO THEY CAN GET SUSPISIOUS AND THEN WHEN IT COMES THEY WONT BE AS SUPRISED TO FIND OUT THAT YOUR A QUEER OR A LESBIAN, WHATEVER YOUR NITCH IS LOL BUT YOU HAVE ONE LIFE........LIVE IT!!!!!!!!!