Out of control wouldn't have really described me as a teenager. For one, I was the opposite of promiscuous. I wouldn't let a boy touch me. Drinking and partying on the other hand...

Pretty much what ever Dick refused to let me do is what I did. I had horrible grades in school. Half the time I barely passed my classes the other half I failed. The sad part is that I really didn't care. When I was about sixteen it got pretty bad.

An example of my horrible behavior and complete lack of respect for Dick was dance night. This Friday there was this big dance. I was supposed to have my best friend stay the night. Well, I got home from school about 3 hours late and Dick tried to ground me. I took the peanut butter and jelly sandwich that he was eating and smashed it in his face. Needless to say, I went to the dance that night, stayed out past curfew and my friend still stayed the night.

A few months after that particular incident Dick decided it would be a good idea to move the three of us (himself, my mom and me) in with his girlfriend and her two kids. As dysfunctional as my family had been my entire life, I couldn't handle this. He had my mom so brain washed by his Ted Bundypersonality that she was on his side. This was the first time I moved out. I moved in with my friend Gena and her family.

It was an odd experience for me. I was uncomfortable because of all the normalcy. Yet, at the same time, I was completely at home because of all the normalcy. All in all I loved it there. My grades slowly started to improve. It was the first time I had ever actually "wanted" to follow the rules. About a month and a half after I moved out of my parents home, my mom called and asked me if I would go to my Aunt Kelly's house with the family for Easter. It was only and hour or so away so I agrees. We all went. Me, my mom, Dick, Dick's girlfriend and her two kids. Once we got there Dick dropped me and my mom off and said he was going to go get some eggs for us to dye and they would be right back. He lied. He never came back.

Here I was, once again in a new town. A new school with no one that I knew. I couldn't go back to my friend's house. I felt obligated to stay with my mom. I couldn't leave her all alone. Sadly, my mom had been sick my whole life. Dick's leaving just made it worse. I had to take care of everything. She was in and out of the hospital with stays lasting weeks at a time. I was drinking all the time. I would even go to school drunk. I was still adamantabout having absolutely no physical relationships with anyone....that may very well have been a good thing.

About 6 months after Dick abandoned us, he came back. His girlfriend had left him. Something about him molesting her daughter, go figure. He was homeless. My mom welcomed him home with open arms. He kept trying to touch me, something he hadn't done since I was thirteen. He would try to punish me if I wouldn't lay in bed with him in my underwear. He wanted me to hold his hand like i was his girlfriend. I went on a walk with my mom one day and begged her to make him stop. I threatened to move out if he didn't. She told me if he did anything to me it was because I dressed like a slut. So, I moved out for the second time.

I moved to Seattle, about four hours from my parents. I moved in with foster parents I had never met before. A friend of a friend had arranged it for me. That was when I met Dan and Marlene, my foster parents. I also met my foster brother Ray. Within one month I had a 4.0 grade point average. Life was going great. I was there almost my full Junior year. Unfortunately, the relationship between Ray and I became very competitive. Dan was on my side, and Marlene on Ray's. I couldn't handle this incredible family, who had helped me so much, fighting because of me. So I moved out in the middle of the night. I went to stay with my friend Naomi.

That lasted about two weeks. My grades were already dropping. I was skipping school. Partying again. I ended up moving in with another one of my friends, Haley, for the last two weeks of school. Then the two of us packed our things and moved in with my parents. I was almost 18.

I guess at that point in time I felt indestructible. Like Dick couldn't hurt me. Just to let everyone know who doesn't already, never underestimate the power of a sociopath.

At first everything was fine. Hayley and I were partying so much that we were never there anyway. The drinking and partying got so bad I ended up loosing my virginity by way of date rape. I told my parents. All they could say was that they hoped I got pregnant so they could be grandparents. Can you say dysfunctional? When it was time for school to start back up, Hayley headed back to Seattle. I stayed.

It was my Senior year. After getting such good grades in Seattle, I was all set up to graduate. I had only 3 classes that I had to take and pass. I was skipping a lot of school and still partying. On October 14th of 1997 I met James.

I was dating this guy Matt when I met James. I was also seeing another guy, Jay. I was having car trouble. Neither of them seemed to be able to fix the problem, so Jay called in his best friend a.k.a. James. InstantlyI knew, we knew, we were supposed to be together. I broke up with both Matt and jay that night. James never left, he moved in with me. Less than a week later we were both kicked out of school for missing so much class. We enrolled at a Alternative school.

This was about the time Dick started getting in my face about this and that. To be honest, he said I was partying too much and throwing away my life. He had a point. I didn't care, I Dick said it, I wanted the opposite. Some time in the beginning of November, all Hell broke loose.

Dick wanted to borrow my car. Actually, it was a blazer. It was still having problems and I said no. He tried to steal my keys. I ended up running outside barefoot and trying to leave. Dick climbed into the front seat next to me via the back window as I was driving away. He started hitting me, slapping me, punching me. I put my hand up to stop him and ended up hitting his chest. I stopped the car in the middle of the road, jumped out and ran back home. He got back home and called the police. He filed domestic violence charges against me. He filed a restraining order and kicked me out. Later I ended up doing 7 days house arrest and one year of probation. He got nothing.

James and I started staying here and there. We didn't care as long as we were together. We both ended up completely dropping out of school. January came and went. In February I found out I was a month pregnant. This is when things got crazy.

I went back to school by way of a home schooling program. James went to work as a food joint. We rented an extremely small studio apartment in the heart of the ghetto. The whole apartment was smaller than my bedroom at home. It has cock roaches and rats. All of the neighbors were doing drugs to the point you could smell it throughout the walls. The worst part was the communitybathrooms we had to share with the entire building. But we were together. I was happy.

June 7th, 1998 I graduated from High School. One week later, on June 13th, 1998 James and I were married. I was 5 months pregnant. Our son Jesse was born on September 9th, 1998. That was the day James and i became adults.