Top Ten Reasons Why Apple Sucks More Than George Bush
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George W's presidency and Apple's trendy comeback will probably go down in history as one of the most baffling co-occurring mental illnesses in millennial American history. If I took a bet on who will leave a deeper hole in the growing emptiness of the American conscience, it would be evil iProduce for the win!
1. iArrogance
Bush thinks he's a genius, but constantly reminds us he's not. Apple thinks they're geniuses, and you're a moron.
2. iNherently Evil
90% of the world hates Bush, and knows why. 90% of the world hates Apple, and they have no clue why.
3. iDesuetude
Bush can only serve eight years and despite his failures, his term will end - we can start anew. Apple's term has lasted 32 years and despite it's failures - it shows no signs of ending. There is no God and Apple killed Nietzsche.
4. iDiscrimination
Bush makes fat people richer. Apple bashes fat people on national television.
5. iCyborg
Bush sounds like a computer when he speaks. Steve Jobs makes love to computers while he speaks.
6. iVanity
Bush wants to conquer parts of the world in the name of defeating terrorism. Apple wants to name the entire world after it's favorite computer... for no reason at all.
7. Boredom iFactor
Bush's addresses can put you to sleep in under five minutes. Steve Jobs' addresses make you want to poke out your eyes, tear off your ears, and hit yourself in the kidneys after 60 grueling minutes.
8. iDeficit
Bush wants us to spend hundreds of billions of dollars to repair Iraq. Apple wants us to spend hundreds of billions of dollars to replace our rectangle iPods with square ones.
9. iUgliness
Bush dresses like a stiff capital pig. Apple representatives dress like members of the Blue Man Group.
10. iWarming
Bush's decisions make lands far far away overheat. Apple makes everything in your house overheat.
Sad thing is, George Bush probably can't even operate a Mac.
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Comments
not very compelling reasons.
you are an idiot.
APPLE IS THE BEST!
Thank you for these reasons. I can now piss on iTards for thier stupidity. =D viva le revolution.
Nice work killing two birds with one stone, by the way =D
Someday, the world will know the truth, and it will not start with an "i"
/roar
This my friend was a great blog post. I own a blog that just tells people things that suck. This blog post of yours pleased me though. I actually laughed a few times, you're pretty funny.
I'll definitely check out your other stuff.
That was simply awesome. Number 5 was the best for me! I can't stand Steve Jobs and evertime he gets up on the stage it sounds like he's ready to give the "i" to the iMac. Lol :D
Perhaps you wrote #4 as a joke, but Apple does discriminate. My best friend was a star employee -- getting the highest performance ratings, promotions, etc. -- and then became disabled. Not only did Apple have the power to help prevent her from becoming as disabled as she has by telling their workers comp insurer to authorize treatment for that neurodegenerative disease she got as a result of a work injury -- and Apple refused to help -- they have now fired her because she is disabled and can no longer work overtime (e.g. like a slave as she used to, when she did the job of several people). Decency is a foreign concept to Apple. She was loyal to that company, and they treated her like shit.
Sorry to hear about your friend. I know the corporate world can be cold, you would think a company as "colorful" as Apple would stand up for it's employees.
But then again, we're talking about an organization so focused on it's proprietary rights and elitist attitudes, maybe it's not that surprising.
Amen. I posted some "customer feedback" to their discussion board and apparently "Dear Bob (tumalo), Apple removed your post on Apple Discussions titled "Apple 4G *****?" because it contained the following: Rude or inappropriate language Non-constructive rants or complaints"
Boohooohooo . . .they couldn't handle the fact I posted something negative about the 4G Nano so they clipped it. Chumps
Ipod has almost eliminated the record industry and has made musicians a lot poorer. If you think they were overpaid in the first place, then you are happy.
The overpaid musicians are the ones who make their money selling concert tickets. The underpaid musicians who don't have a multi-million person following are the ones apple is killing by selling their music on iTunes without asking and not paying them for it. Apple is the prime example of corporate evil while appearing to be "cool, hip, and different." I hope Jobs dies a horrible painful death.
Haha. Excellent! I can never really understand why people like Apple products so much. Because they look pretty is a kiddy reason. Apple overprices everything. For a much lower price, you can get a computer with the same specs. For the same price you can get one with much better specs. And it wouldnt be locked-up like a Mac. As for Ipods, there is a bunch of third-party software out there made to "allow" Ipods to do what a regular mp3 player already does. Maybe people are just too busy looking at how nice it looks to notice there is actually much better stuff around.
iMen brotha!
Apple and nObama suck @$$
He's just jealous because he can't afford a mac. Macs are great!! You can't do half the things on a PC anywhere nearly as easy as a mac!! And yes the apple people ARE geniuses. And 90% of the world hate mac cos they're JELOUS =] you know i'm right. Oh and my old PC overheated SO much that it actually melted some of the wires. Then i got a mac and that NEVER happens =] just making my point and blazing you.
@Aperson
The reason why you can't do half the things on a PC as easily as on a Mac, because Macs are for 'tards who don't want to learn how to actually use a computer. 90% of the world is actually smarter than you, and it is you who is JELOUS [sic] that you can't actually learn to use a computer properly. 90% of the world can't be wrong.
By the way, Microsoft owns 98% of the computer market, and that includes anything Apple. Why? Apple makes most of its money on hardware sales, and shares the profits of software with Microsoft, with most of the proceeds going to Microsoft. Apple users usually want to dual boot Mac + Windows, so Microsoft makes a ton of money by licensing the losers Windows. Also, most Mac users know that iWork sucks, so they need to use Microsoft Office, which is again money in Microsoft's pocket. Apple = Microsoft's puppet and external R&D
thank you for this.
ya.. that was full of facts... not. iDon't understand (see how stupid that looks) how you can relate a president to a computer first of all, and secondly, you no only missed the entire point of mac. vs. pc, but you made no valid points of why in the hell i'd buy a pc. only that.. you in fact hate george bush and like writing all your headings iLike iThis. Which is a little artsy and homo. sincerely, bitch boy <3
lol
Apple is a computer? I thought it was a company run by a group of people...
I was trying to say Macs are better than PCs? I don't remember even mentioning the two together...
Either I didn't write this, or you didn't read it o.O
Well i won't say obama sucks......but this is one heck of a article. Good for dissing bush and apple. imen...
Btw @bitch boy- Well pretty much everyone hate bush.....after all he's the one that proved darwin's law that monkey's human's predessor, and anyways since when mac and pcs were together...
Very nice indeed, digging apple into the ground by comparing them. To a president!
Good thing it isn't the other way around: apple is the government and sends 6 billion dollar Itanks to Iraq (lol, I-Raq)
Apple products could've been better if they didn't cost twice as much as it's comparable products.
Thank you for this amusing pwnage.
hi guys I'm sure that you are not mac Users but this is not the point. in my case I'm one of those bastards you wanna name that shit in the same way. so far I can see every one is a MF freak suckers who use windows and those shits...
anyway people who need to use a real computer with a real software just bye a apple computer. you're frustrated because you don't have money in order to buy un of these machines.
if you don't want to follow the bulls you must THINK DIFFERNT!!!
ipod iphone is awesome and that's the truth. you cannot say the same about that shit named ZUNE. and is the only hardware in this level microsoft has. and of course their don't have any computer.
well bye bastards....
I hate to see this simplistic shit.
Yes, bush did some stupid things but there are sooo many people hating bush without a reason (and adoring Obama without a reason too). But I don't know really what could be wrong with Apple. Apple, 32 years of failures? I think microsoft made as much failures as Apple. This fanatic creator should think better before creating this.
I pity people who say " i had a old computer with windows (3.1) for long time i then shifted to mac and its wonderful"..People please grow up and compare wisely
After apple shited to intel, the hardware in mac and PCs are the same... at any point of time in the market, PC configurations can outclass macs easily.
If you want the best hardware out there you HAVE to get a PC.... (except for if you are a baby who cannot search for a product by yourself) and if you got a PC you HAVE to have windows in it.Its the best operating system available for a PC.. (Linux is too buggy and software free).
So right now sensible computing = PC
Remind me, Which company bailed out the other to the tune of 150 million dollars in 1997? Yeah, that bite mark in the logo is from Microsoft.
Haha well researched JAK.
http://www.nytimes.com/1997/08/08/opinion/the-appl
I have a mac pro, and it works great. But after my iPhone breaking a month out of warranty n apple refusing to fix it and giving a genuinely overall shit customer service (the phone has still not been dealt with) - i'm fed up with apple.
Out of spite I wouldnt buy another phone from them ever again, and my next computer will probably be a PC.
It's a dire shame because they have a great potential, however shitty customer service and their a little too eager 'fanclub' are both ruining and creepy, respectively.
Wow! you are really having a battle here! I used to like apple cuz of the elegance... that's stupid. I dont think anyone is better than the other, but for what I see here, see more much reasons to buy a PC than an apple product
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Bill says:
17 months ago
Apple sucks..
no more ipod for me. im buying a sony mp3 player instead.
steve jobs can play as much as he wants with his itoys. the rest of the world will throw them to the bin sooner or later..